Stupidest girlfriend/fiance/wife arguments?

[Somebody]

Yeah, My wife sucks.

She went apeshit at me because I gave her a "special" disease that I didn't have when we first got together.

[talentdeficit]

me and my girlfriend were enjoying dinner. our waitress checks me out when she takes our order.. my girlfriend sing songs 'someone thinks you're cute' good naturedly. i say, 'everyone thinks i'm cute'. my girlfriend gives me an exagerated eye roll. we make small talk. the waitress comes back with our food. i smile at her. twenty minutes later, after an argument featuring clenched teeth and angry gesturing with a knife, my girlfriend tells me i'm the most conceited piece of [censored] on the planet and disappears into the night.

[Max Raker]

[ QUOTE ]
Just saying that its standard doesnt fill my workday afternoon. Stories, I need stories, and the more ridiculous the better.

[/ QUOTE ]

Here is the worst I've had. We were in Vegas and meet two of my friends in our hotel who had just flown in. Their hotel was on the other side of the strip so I gave them our key so they could freshen up and drop off their bags in our room and go play poker. My girlfriend and I had tickets to a show so we left them and got back a few hours later. I call them and they don't pick up and i leave a message. I tell her that they are probably at the table and they will be there with the key soon.

One of my friends calls 10 minutes later, apologizes, and says he is on his way to the room. We go up to the room, he is there within 2 minutes, apologizes to both of us, says he was in a big pot and couldn't pick up the phone or leave. I think its no big deal and he goes back to the game, I open the door and walk in and my girlfriend slams the door behind her. I am thinking WTF??? and turn around and she just starts yelling that I am an ass, all my friends are dicks ,that I should have got mad at my friend for making us wait that I am so irresponsible and that this is the worst that she has ever been treated blah blah blah. I tell her pretty calmly that she can get her own room and do her own stuff if I'm that bad, I thought it was pretty ridiculous since I payed for the whole trip and it was really MY room and she had to wait less than 15 min. She starts crying, and to this day I regret this, I APOLOGIZE!!!!! I was 21 and really stupid about chicks. So I completly swallowed my pride and in like 30 min everything is fine, but I think I died a little inside.

Sadly this happend a few more times and I broke up with her. Actually I think if i had just stood my ground a few times she would have stopped doing it and she was really great except for these random outburts. My friends called her the time bomb.

[muddy mudskipper]

damn it. i was gonna type a something funny, but theres no way i can follow a post like somebodys. well done.

[traz]

The first thing that popped into my mind...

I was camping with my gf, one other couple, and 2 other guy friends. I didn't want the 2 guys to feel awkward if we were all coupley and left them out, so I was trying to hang out with them alot. Of course, my girlfriend felt neglected cause well, girls need far too much attention. Fast forward to the evening. At some point, one of my friends pulls out a combat knife and it was pretty cool. So us, being guys, we start throwing it into a tree, and its actually pretty fun. My GF erupts saying that I'm "hurting the tree" and that I would rather play with a knife and tree than her...I tell her that she can take the place of the tree if she'd prefer. She then takes my car keys and drives away into the night, with no drivers license, no cell phone, and in complete darkness. I sat down, smoked a cigar, gave her hell when she got back, and then had angry make up sex in the tent.

Needless to say I broke up with her right after.

[JaredL]

I've thought about making a thread about this. It's not quite what the OP is looking for but a lot of arguments I get into with my wife get a million times worse because I laugh. There are a few reasons for this. Most of the time it's just because the situation is awkward. I don't actually think anything in is funny and it's just nervous laughter. Sometimes I think the situation itself is somewhat humurous in that what we're arguing about is absurd and meaningless. Other times I just think she's funny.

Almost every time she gets really upset and says I'm disrespectful and laughing in her face - that sort of thing. I'm not really sure what to do about it because I usually can't help it.

I may get some [censored] for posting this, but I can appreciate the Barenaked Ladies lyric:

How can I help it if I think youre funny when youre mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
Im the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Cant understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will

[dogdrool]

Get out now before the divorce.

[guids]

WONT ANYONE THINK OF THE TREES!!!

[liquidboss]

[ QUOTE ]
The first thing that popped into my mind...

I was camping with my gf, one other couple, and 2 other guy friends. I didn't want the 2 guys to feel awkward if we were all coupley and left them out, so I was trying to hang out with them alot. Of course, my girlfriend felt neglected cause well, girls need far too much attention. Fast forward to the evening. At some point, one of my friends pulls out a combat knife and it was pretty cool. So us, being guys, we start throwing it into a tree, and its actually pretty fun. My GF erupts saying that I'm "hurting the tree" and that I would rather play with a knife and tree than her...I tell her that she can take the place of the tree if she'd prefer. She then takes my car keys and drives away into the night, with no drivers license, no cell phone, and in complete darkness. I sat down, smoked a cigar, gave her hell when she got back, and then had angry make up sex in the tent.

Needless to say I broke up with her right after.

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha, this is my favorite so far. Getting mad because you are hurting the tree, that is just like a woman. And your response, classic.

[nation]

GET THE JELLY [censored]!