how to help a young kid - Page 3

ScottieK · #21 09-01-2006, 03:51 PM

My recommendation is to introduce him to chess, or get someone to introduce him if you don't know how to play. Perfect for a smart, uncoordinated, and shy kid. Something competitive that he has a natural tendency toward, a brainy activity. It gives him a setting to socialize with other kids, and if he goes to a school with an active chess club, those kids (and their parents) eat that stuff up and will encourage him. Scholastic tournaments are madhouses, and they give out trophies to just about every kid. Some of the trophies are bigger than the kids! It's a lot of fun, and it's not just for geeks.

I've taught kids like your brother how to play chess. The really shy ones who get good at it eventually come out of their shells when they realize they can be good and win at something. It gives them confidence. Then they decide that if they can do well at chess, they can try to do well at other competitive things, like sports.

Then when he turns 21, he can ditch chess for online poker, naturally. Good luck.

ScottieK

RunyonAve · #22 09-01-2006, 03:57 PM

I'm still saying gaming, Shooting people in the face all night after school is a surefire way to let him release aggression so he doesn't shoot up his highschool one day.

Banks2334 · #23 09-01-2006, 04:30 PM

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I found it very hard to make friends because I thought all kids my age were immature and annoying and consequently had friends all 1-2 yeaers older than me. Being social wasn't a problem for me, but it is for my brother.

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Ummm...You had a hard time making friends but say being social wasn't a problem for you? You may want to rethink that. Seems you are projecting your issues onto your brother. Yes, you can try to help him out, but realize not everyone is going to be athletic, "cool", etc. If he's happy with himself, he'll be fine.

By-Tor · #24 09-01-2006, 04:33 PM

Get him a hooker...

...and some blow.

RunyonAve · #25 09-01-2006, 04:38 PM

And then teach him to take the blow

...off the hookers stomach

NHFunkii · #26 09-01-2006, 04:41 PM

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Yeah,

The kid should just about be old enough to join the school band. Band is where geeks can be cool with other geeks.

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this is a very good idea. I like the rock climbing idea, and by all means do that too, but social skills and having a large group of friends are FAR more important for self esteem than being ripped/good looking I think.

neuroman · #27 09-01-2006, 06:48 PM

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And then teach him to take the blow

...off the hookers ass

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JaBlue · #28 09-04-2006, 04:03 AM

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Def smarter than I was at his age and (I'm told) I tested for IQ of 140-155.

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There is a pretty big difference between 140 and 155 IQ, which one are you?

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I don't know, I think I got a range because it was a test for kids and I took it in 3rd grade. If I had to guess I would say I was at the upper end of the range but it doesn't matter at all because (I think) my IQ is way lower now.

JaBlue · #29 09-04-2006, 04:07 AM

[ QUOTE ]
My recommendation is to introduce him to chess, or get someone to introduce him if you don't know how to play. Perfect for a smart, uncoordinated, and shy kid. Something competitive that he has a natural tendency toward, a brainy activity. It gives him a setting to socialize with other kids, and if he goes to a school with an active chess club, those kids (and their parents) eat that stuff up and will encourage him. Scholastic tournaments are madhouses, and they give out trophies to just about every kid. Some of the trophies are bigger than the kids! It's a lot of fun, and it's not just for geeks.

I've taught kids like your brother how to play chess. The really shy ones who get good at it eventually come out of their shells when they realize they can be good and win at something. It gives them confidence. Then they decide that if they can do well at chess, they can try to do well at other competitive things, like sports.

Then when he turns 21, he can ditch chess for online poker, naturally. Good luck.

ScottieK

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This brings up a good point.

His mom said he liked chess and I am not bad (1900 or something before I quit competitive) so I played with him and tried to teach him stuff and get him to think about the game, but during our game he revealed a really terrible current trait:

When he knew he was going to lose (i.e. just by playing against me), he gave up before even trying. I would guess that because things come so easy to him normally, he's liable to give up whenever something is a challenge. Of course it could be that he just doesn't like chess, but the way he wore his emotions I really doubt that.

So I also wana develop some kind of work ethic and competitive instinct.

JaBlue · #30 09-04-2006, 04:13 AM

Guys,

I'm not trying to get him to embrace his inner nerd so that he can only associate with other nerds and geeks and just become more of a wuss. That isn't to say that nerds and geeks are bad, but he is incredibly maladjusted and suggestions like getting him into Magic are just not what I'm looking for at all. The camping thing is a great idea though. If I can manage it, I'll take him on a float trip down the James River for 3 days and do nothing but fishing and camping.

also I'm not necessarily looking for just specific activity ideas. ANny techniques on how to help him develop social know-how, competitive instinct, work ethic, etc.

Mostly I just want to help him help himself. I know theres no way to instantly imbue him with the qualities that he lacks - just wana give him a chance to develop them.