Some Stuff About PUA (very long)

[xxThe_Lebowskixx]

[ QUOTE ]
Barron,

I'm gonna take the opportunity to break in on this universal paean to confidence.

I maintain that there is very little real difference between confidence and arrogance. One is justified, or perceived as such, and the other is not. That is literally the only difference of which I am aware. The attitude, exhibited behaviors, etc. are the same. One is feeling like the [censored] and being it, too. The other is just the feeling.

On that note, I ask - what the [censored] ever happened to humility? Isn't that still a really, really good thing to possess? Like, the foundation of everything about being a good person rests in humility, imo. Some of you are going to call me a total hypocrite for that statement, and maybe I am, but I don't like it. I want as much humility as I can get. I want to be freed from the prison of my own ego. I think that would be very leet, and I think that it would be leet for everyone else, too. Like, to me, the beau ideal is the dude who is the [censored] but doesn't particularly see himself as such. And yet you guys all preach the exact opposite. This is the part that I end up taking personally, that drives me crazy. Like, even if it's a requirement to be a tru playa or whatever, what a stupid game!

[/ QUOTE ]

What you just described is considered the Alpha Male of the Emo world. Time to buy some band tshirts and hair dye.

[Blarg]

Humility is more journey than destination. You can't really "arrive" at humility. Once you claim perfect humility, you've already invalidated it.

[stabn]

[ QUOTE ]
Humility is more journey than destination. You can't really "arrive" at humility. Once you claim perfect humility, you've already invalidated it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow blarg!

[Anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Barron,

I'm gonna take the opportunity to break in on this universal paean to confidence.

I maintain that there is very little real difference between confidence and arrogance. One is justified, or perceived as such, and the other is not. That is literally the only difference of which I am aware. The attitude, exhibited behaviors, etc. are the same. One is feeling like the [censored] and being it, too. The other is just the feeling.

On that note, I ask - what the [censored] ever happened to humility? Isn't that still a really, really good thing to possess? Like, the foundation of everything about being a good person rests in humility, imo. Some of you are going to call me a total hypocrite for that statement, and maybe I am, but I don't like it. I want as much humility as I can get. I want to be freed from the prison of my own ego. I think that would be very leet, and I think that it would be leet for everyone else, too. Like, to me, the beau ideal is the dude who is the [censored] but doesn't particularly see himself as such. And yet you guys all preach the exact opposite. This is the part that I end up taking personally, that drives me crazy. Like, even if it's a requirement to be a tru playa or whatever, what a stupid game!

[/ QUOTE ]

What you just described is considered the Alpha Male of the Emo world. Time to buy some band tshirts and hair dye.

[/ QUOTE ]

See, this is exactly what I've been talking about. Principle vs. Get Real.

[traz]

3 pages later, I still have no idea what this thread is about

[Anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
God, how did the human race even last this long? Obviously no man could find a mate without asking her to buy him a drink.


[/ QUOTE ]

Now here's a good observation that I've been meaning to make, that I think lends a lot of credence to KKF's blame of pop / consumer culture, as much as it's like chewing tinfoil to side with KKF, [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].

I'm, uh, pretty sure our grandfathers didn't have to neg hit, for the most part. Ask him how he met your granny. The modern conception of dating is like three generations old at the most. Many features of it seem like an invention of the current generation. All this stuff you claim to be 'evolutionary,' 'biological', etc - I'm sure some of it is, to the extent that the speaker isn't just completely full of [censored], but how much of it is cultural?

[El Diablo]

cardo,

" Like, to me, the beau ideal is the dude who is the [censored] but doesn't particularly see himself as such."

[Jon1000]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
God, how did the human race even last this long? Obviously no man could find a mate without asking her to buy him a drink.


[/ QUOTE ]

Now here's a good observation that I've been meaning to make, that I think lends a lot of credence to KKF's blame of pop / consumer culture, as much as it's like chewing tinfoil to side with KKF, [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].

I'm, uh, pretty sure our grandfathers didn't have to neg hit, for the most part. Ask him how he met your granny. The modern conception of dating is like three generations old at the most. Many features of it seem like an invention of the current generation. All this stuff you claim to be 'evolutionary,' 'biological', etc - I'm sure some of it is, to the extent that the speaker isn't just completely full of [censored], but how much of it is cultural?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm also pretty sure a lot of our grandfathers weren't looking for love or the perfect girl as we conceive them today. I'm positive times were different a generation or two ago, especially with regard to dating, but I'm not sure I'm going to think of it as a simpler and better time.

Thoughts that may or may not be directly related to this time gap that jumped into my head are the sexual revolution, arranged marriages, divorce rates, and social pressure to settle down earlier.

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
God, how did the human race even last this long? Obviously no man could find a mate without asking her to buy him a drink.


[/ QUOTE ]

Now here's a good observation that I've been meaning to make, that I think lends a lot of credence to KKF's blame of pop / consumer culture, as much as it's like chewing tinfoil to side with KKF, [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].

I'm, uh, pretty sure our grandfathers didn't have to neg hit, for the most part. Ask him how he met your granny. The modern conception of dating is like three generations old at the most. Many features of it seem like an invention of the current generation. All this stuff you claim to be 'evolutionary,' 'biological', etc - I'm sure some of it is, to the extent that the speaker isn't just completely full of [censored], but how much of it is cultural?

[/ QUOTE ]

Its due to the most selfish generation ever to walk the face of the earth (our parents). Baby boomers are by and large raising super narcissistic douche bags, this is when things shifted.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Barron,

I'm gonna take the opportunity to break in on this universal paean to confidence.

I maintain that there is very little real difference between confidence and arrogance. One is justified, or perceived as such, and the other is not. That is literally the only difference of which I am aware. The attitude, exhibited behaviors, etc. are the same. One is feeling like the [censored] and being it, too. The other is just the feeling.

On that note, I ask - what the [censored] ever happened to humility? Isn't that still a really, really good thing to possess? Like, the foundation of everything about being a good person rests in humility, imo. Some of you are going to call me a total hypocrite for that statement, and maybe I am, but I don't like it. I want as much humility as I can get. I want to be freed from the prison of my own ego. I think that would be very leet, and I think that it would be leet for everyone else, too. Like, to me, the beau ideal is the dude who is the [censored] but doesn't particularly see himself as such. And yet you guys all preach the exact opposite. This is the part that I end up taking personally, that drives me crazy. Like, even if it's a requirement to be a tru playa or whatever, what a stupid game!

[/ QUOTE ]

You can be confident without being arrogant. Arrogance is confidence without humility. Humility is one of the greatest and most practical virtues.

Take Clint Eastwood's character in the spaghetti westerns. Without confidence in his skills, he would probably be too freaked out and hesitant to come out on top in a firefight, or even admit to himself when he was about to get caught up in one. He might just indulge in denial and try to convince himself that what he feared could not possibly be happening right here, right now, to him.

Yet if he pushed past confidence into arrogance about his skills, all it would take is being wrong once to straighten him out, permanently. Because Clint is too smart to be the kind of guy to let them happen, we have the phrase, "A man has got to know his limitations." Clint is well aware that even someone with seemingly superhuman skills and seven bullets in a six-shooter must be thoroughly grounded in reality if he wants to stick around in it for a while. He cannot afford the lapse in awareness that is arrogance. Humility keeps him alive. It couldn't be more more practical.