favorite Seinfeld line

[daryn]

George approaches Jerry at the bar of a nightclub, carrying a cane.

George: Hey hey hey, check me out, huh?

Jerry: No more crutches, that must be a relief.

George: Yeah, with crutches everyone has questions.

Jerry: Not with a cane?

George: Nah, with crutches it's a funny story, with a cane it's a sad story. You through with those?

George uses the cane handle to drag a bowl of pretzels over from the other end of the bar.

Jerry: That IS a sad story.

[MacGuyV]

Pretending they don't know each other at the coffee shop:

George: Comedian? So what do you do a lot of that "have you ever noticed" type stuff? A lot of people are doing that now.

Jerry: Boy you really went bald there.

[WayAbvPar]

I saw one over the weekend that contained a line that I somehow missed in numerous previous viewings which really cracked me up for some reason-

After low flow shower heads were installed, Newman has a line on some replacements from 'the former Yugoslavia'.

Kramer- The Serbs are fanatics about their showers!

Jerry- Not from the footage I have seen...

[slystyle012]

hello...neeeeewman

[slystyle012]

GEORGE: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.

JERRY: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do
you have salsa?" "We need more salsa." "Where is the salsa? No salsa?"

[MikeHoncho]

[ QUOTE ]
"Let me tell you something, funny boy... You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole helluva lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before - flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Why's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me.... Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn't he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld... Maybe that's how you get your kicks... You and your goodtime buddies... I've got a flash for you, joy boy. Partytime is over."
- Lt. Bookman, in "The Library"

edit - ok so its a little more than a line

[/ QUOTE ]

Best lines/monologue/random character in Seinfeld history for me. "Joyboy" gets me every time.

[MissT74]

"Maybe the dingo ate your baby"

T

[DrewDevil]

[ QUOTE ]
GEORGE: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.

JERRY: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do
you have salsa?" "We need more salsa." "Where is the salsa? No salsa?"

[/ QUOTE ]

It must be impossible for a Spanish guy to order seltzer!

[fitnessfreak]

the car dealesrhip episode when george is complaining to the manager about the mechanic who stole his twix out of the vending machine:

George: "all i want is my dollar back, a simple apology, and for him to be fired!"

[PayTheSnucka]

THE MOYEL! (talking to Elaine)

Darling, you see where that glass is? How that glass is near the edge of the table. You got the whole table there to put the glass, why you chose the absolute edge, so half the glass is hanging off the table, you breath and that lass falls over, then you're gonna have broken glass on the carpet, embedded in the carpet fibers, deep, deep in the shag, broken glass, bits of broken glass that you never get out. you can't get it out with a vacuum cleaner. Even on your hands and knees with a magnifying glass, you can't get all the pieces, and then you think you got it all and two years later, you're walkin' barefoot and you step on a piece of broken glass and you kill yourself, is that what you want? I don't think you want that, is it? .. Do you?