Prs to be making me less broke? Financial Follies

[tuq]

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Though some may know who Burlap is, I don't and this post now eliminated the two I was trying to decide between.

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Heh, I wonder who the two you had in mind were.

While Burlap is clearly someone's gimmick, that post is absolutely stellar and not to be overlooked (presumably it is made by someone who knows him IRL and doesn't want to deal with the fallout of using his own account).

[TheRover]

God damn, Burlap, although I don't know that I could support anything resembling self-brainwashing techniques, that was an excellent post.

[Los Feliz Slim]

Burlap ftw

[Your Mom]

This guy failed at poker after posting 5000 times on this site. He's doomed to fail at just about anything probably because of a lack of intelligence or possibly a lack of maturity.

[Anacardo]

Your ideas are intriguing.

However, in a step for the sort of fearless self-exposure to mockery for which I am surely famous above all else, I will say this:

The idea of driving around in my car (see? CD player. I need it) listening to someone on permanent loop telling me to feel good about myself strikes me as very, very silly and ridiculous.

That said, I do know exactly what you're talking about, as you well know.

It's a killing fog. It stifles cognition, creativity, will, clever ideas, pleasant memories, good feelings and avenues of escape almost as fast as they appear.

It's a [censored] glutton. It wants your whole life if it can get it. And it is so [censored] hard to rally from under. I can only do it for a few hours at a time, and every time it comes back it washes away everything you came up with. The Waters of Lethe. Those of you who've never experienced it have no idea how much it makes you forget.

Drags you baaaaaaack. To motionlessness.

Fear? I'unno. Maybe. Phobias regarding incompetence and missing data and looking foolish have always played a powerful role in my inner life. I don't think that's the proximate cause, though. I got here as a direct result of walking straight into the teeth of paralyzing terror. Probably the bravest thing I've ever done.

Anyway. I've sought treatment. I believe I've mentioned that. Spent last winter checking out psychiatrists as I'd been urged to do. Settled on a guy, didn't think much of him, seemed like your standard cynic's shrink - just an oblivious dope-pusher. Took what he prescribed me, and headed out to LA. Couple months later my hands shook all the time, I couldn't get my nut, I spent most of my day in a mental coma and I was trying to decide whether or not to jump off my balcony, so I wrote an emofied thread and quit taking the stuff. Temporary relief ensued, like a sick man turning over in bed.

"Ruled by your habits." [censored] yeah. Ruled by your imagination? Hell yeah you are. I still don't understand quite why it follows to just imagine fluffy bunnies 'n' [censored], but that's just as likely as not to be the death fog talking.

I mean - catch me at another time and I would drop a vociferous arguebomb. It would prolly go something like this - "The whole idea of deliberately trying to alter your thoughts & emotions is ludicrous, indeed sickening. Even if it works I want no part of it, because if it does, then there is no such thing as authentic experience - only 'what you make of it.' And if that's the case then who gives a [censored] about anything, it's all fake.'

Now, I still believe in the core of this sentiment. On the other hand, I can't imagine that having your mind sucked away by the Noonday Demon is a particularly 'authentic' way to have your perceptions filtered, either. So as I said to begin with - your ideas are intriguing.

[Anacardo]

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This guy failed at poker after posting 5000 times on this site. He's doomed to fail at just about anything probably because of a lack of intelligence or possibly a lack of maturity.

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If you have, in your life, met five people more intelligent or self-aware than I am, you have led an unusual life.

You are human poison.

[Blarg]

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This guy failed at poker after posting 5000 times on this site. He's doomed to fail at just about anything probably because of a lack of intelligence or possibly a lack of maturity.

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Certainly not lack of intelligence. I think what he has most of all is lack of resolve, and a certain ornery stubbornness. These things are curable, but not without the desire to cure them. He may feel safer in misery than he would in success, and that's his main problem now. He's certainly not guaranteed failure, though he may find it attractive. The chap has potential enough if he wants to claim it. In fact, he was a poker pro for years, so it's hardly fair to call him a failure at poker. He went busto. So what? This is the norm, not the exception, in poker.

What he did wrong was not mind his finances well. This too is the norm with people. He just didn't seem to realize the stakes at his point in life, it seems.

To be fair, also, he spent a good chunk of his change on psychological counseling. This was an honest attempt to make things better. You can't hold it against him that he made a positive effort. That it was at a bad time for his limited wallet is one of those unfortunate things that can happen in a life. What was his alternative? Save money but go completely ass over elbow mentally? It's unfair and presumptive to blame someone for trying to staunch a bleeding wound. Alternatively, he could have lived in complete denial until he self-destructed, and then come here for praise on his financial astuteness. How great would that alternative have been?

Everyone has their faults, without exception, and most everyone has at least a few that seem out of their control and are arguably in need of a fix pronto. But let's not cast blame too casually. Everyone makes judgments, and that's fine, but we owe the objects of our judgment the kindness of precision. We owe it to ourselves too; sloppy habits of mind lead to blurred vision we'd be best not to find too comfortable.

[Anacardo]

Welp -

I just read Burlap's entire posting history.

In conclusion, I don't know who this guy is, but I don't think he's someone I can afford to ignore.

[kyleb]

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This guy failed at poker after posting 5000 times on this site. He's doomed to fail at just about anything probably because of a lack of intelligence or possibly a lack of maturity.

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If you have, in your life, met five people more intelligent or self-aware than I am, you have led an unusual life.

You are human poison.

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My three partners are smarter than you and I'm sure I can find two more.

[Burlap]

Cardo,

LOL, I didn’t expect it to work right away.

Do this wouldya;

Tomorrow morning, after you’ve had your coffee, and you’re not yet in the state of mind of needing to prove to the world what a pathetic loser you are, reread what I wrote.

And the next day do the same thing. And the next day, and the next day. Keep doing this until you say to yourself “ah what the hell, I’ll take his advice and give it a listen.”

If after two weeks you still haven’t done it, keep rereading it until you do. You have to understand that for every moment you think positively, that’s one less moment you allow yourself to wallow in self pity. These moments add up, until you literally forget how to be depressed. Don’t wait to do it until you believe what I’m telling you. Doing it will make you believe it.

…Hmmmm… driving in my car listening to something that may very well change my life, but if any 2+2er found out, I would be embarrassed for a moment….or….playing it cool, depressing an entire forum in one fell swoop every other week…

Tough decision indeed.

I promise you that you will enjoy the process immensely.