Found out my roomate's GF used to be a mega-ho - Page 22

Iron Tigran · #**211** 09-08-2006, 01:56 PM

What if best friend says nothing, and his buddy marries the girl. Then the girl decides to finish her checklist and blows the other half of the football team. Buddy divorces her, and best friend commiserates, "Yeah, I knew she was a ho back in the day, but decided it was none of my business, so I didn't tell you."

That also can get sticky.

FortunaMaximus · #**212** 09-08-2006, 01:58 PM

If you're not gonna mention it BEFORE, why would you mention it AFTER?

Ignorance has to be bliss sometimes. This may be on eof these times.

Hopey · #**213** 09-08-2006, 01:59 PM

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What if best friend says nothing, and his buddy marries the girl. Then the girl decides to finish her checklist and blows the other half of the football team. Buddy divorces her, and best friend commiserates, "Yeah, I knew she was a ho back in the day, but decided it was none of my business, so I didn't tell you."

That also can get sticky.

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So the buddy should spill the beans *now* in order to avoid all of these potential "what ifs?". Yeah, that makes sense.

Iron Tigran · #**214** 09-08-2006, 02:05 PM

Fortuna: Yes, that is the way to go. If you decide to not spill now, you can never mention the info to him.

Hopey: It was just something that occured to me. I wasn't proposing it as a revelation that changed the proper course of action. It was kind of a devil's advocate question.

tboss888 · #**215** 09-08-2006, 02:11 PM

If hes really your friend, I would talk to the girl and tell her you know and see if she has told him about it, if not I would tell her that either she tells him or you do. Secrets like this always come out eventually and can ruin the marriage, if he cant get over the fact that she went through a whoooor period then hes not the guy for her anyway.

aheravi · #**216** 09-08-2006, 02:17 PM

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What if best friend says nothing, and his buddy marries the girl. Then the girl decides to finish her checklist and blows the other half of the football team. Buddy divorces her, and best friend commiserates, "Yeah, I knew she was a ho back in the day, but decided it was none of my business, so I didn't tell you."

That also can get sticky.

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So now we're going to get into a bunch of "what if" scenarios? How about "what if they stay happily married?"

SmackinYaUp · #**217** 09-08-2006, 02:43 PM

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Since their relationship is important to both of them, and deep important relationships are difficult to find...

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This is a terrible reason to avoid anything difficult in a relationship.

natedogg · #**218** 09-08-2006, 03:17 PM

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It's no different than the standard " should I tell my friend his wife is cheating"? It's a lie going on and you should tell your friend.

natedogg

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I disagree, this is a completely different situation. In this case the events have already happened and it is possible that she has even come clean with him about her past. This is a classic case of minding your bidness.

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right on. and Nate, seriously, its an entirely different situation, its not even the same ballpark, not even the same game. A woman who [censored] a lot of guys IN THE PAST, is way different than a woman who is [censored] another guy or two while she is [censored] you.

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Of course you are right. That is how most reasonable people feel about former 'hoing by their woman.

But the OP's friend does not want a woman who used to be a mega ho, even if she isn't one now. He would not want to marry her because of this, and that's pretty serious. It's that simple. The OP should tell his friend.

Just because you or I would not care or we think it's lame to care is irrelevent. The friend cares. A lot. And doens't know.

Tell him.

natedogg

Hopey · #**219** 09-08-2006, 04:14 PM

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But the OP's friend does not want a woman who used to be a mega ho, even if she isn't one now. He would not want to marry her because of this, and that's pretty serious. It's that simple. The OP should tell his friend.

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You're still assuming that the stories that the drunk idiots at the bar told him were true. It's much more likely that there's only a small grain of truth to the stories (for instance, that she got really drunk one night and blew a couple of the band members) and that the events have gotten overblown with time. It's very very unlikely that the stories are all 100% irrefutable fact.

They're almost certainly rumours, nothing more. Unless I had first-hand knowledge of the acts in question, I wouldn't be going ahead and potentially ruining my friend's relationship.

Dominic · #**220** 09-08-2006, 04:17 PM

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Dom, I like your posts most of the time and you seem like a decent guy. You're way off here.

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I certainly see how a girl's sexual past is relevant when you're 19 years old and that history is very recent.

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Who are you to tell anyone else what is and isn't important to them and their relationships?

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When you're 30 or 40 or older, you'll come to realize that it just doesn't matter. No one "owes" you their complete life history upon meeting you or starting a relationship with you.

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No, they don't owe anyone their complete life history upon meeting someone or starting a relationship with them. If the relationship continues, however, and one person wants certain information (like previous relationships, #'s of people the other's slept with) about the other, they're generally entitled to it.

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Your views are naive, unrealistic and come from a lack of experience. Believe it or not, your sense or right and wrong is neither as absolute as you think it to be, nor is it all that unique.

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Actually, your view seems to be the naive one in this situation. If Joe's sense of morality -- whatever that may be -- is important to him, who are you to decide what information about the person he's going to marry Joe is entitled to? And who are you to say that it isn't important?

Like I said, Dom, I do like you, but you sound like a self-righteous know-it-all in this thread.

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Um, you forget one very important thing here: Joe's not asking for the information - his friend wants to volunteer it. Now, if Joe ASKS his friend if he has heard anything, then I guees it's up to his friend to tell Joe about some unsubstantiated rumor that Maria is a lyin' whore.