July Low-Content Thread

[HOWMANY]

I realized that the reason I keep getting sexually abused at the table is quite simple. No matter how many times I get get razor blade covered [censored] shoved down my throat in the form of 1 and 2 outters I'll keep coming back for more. I'm pretty sure the majority of the regulars in the game would be bludgeoning people that give them bad beats at this point. They'd probably also be broke because they're horrible and playing 40 with like a 10k bankroll.

Also has anyone ever had security walk them to their car at Ocean's? After like 98154143 hours I ended up winning some yesterday and it looked like a lot because I was in a trillion racks and Brown randomly walked me to my car which I have never had done or seen done even though I used to regularly cash out this many scrumptious Franklins. It especially weird since it was broad daylight.

[bugstud]

[ QUOTE ]
I recouped $700 in my most recent Omaha flipping experience. Bugstud was not there so that meant I could actually win a couple times.

[/ QUOTE ]

instead I played 198 hours of 2-7 cashing but not winning money in the wsop. effing dumb.

[DeathDonkey]

Paying a bounty to whoever can slowroll another 2+2er in a 40/80 game is awesome. CDC is a good slowroller. I am just ok.

-DeathDonkey

[bugstud]

[ QUOTE ]
Paying a bounty to whoever can slowroll another 2+2er in a 40/80 game is awesome. CDC is a good slowroller. I am just ok.

-DeathDonkey

[/ QUOTE ]

it'd help if you had ANY fish in the game.

other than petri, obv.

[bigjoet]

yeah, i saw that.... i thought you had requested the escort... anyone should know all the 40/75 players by now, so it was kinda strange... the 1 outer straight flush guy talked about the 20 game around 5am this morning...i guess i cant be surprised that it happened to you... he claimed he had 88 though...

btw, u missed the wizard's epic day... we might not see him for a while...

[HOWMANY]

[ QUOTE ]
yeah, i saw that.... i thought you had requested the escort... anyone should know all the 40/75 players by now, so it was kinda strange... the 1 outer straight flush guy talked about the 20 game around 5am this morning...i guess i cant be surprised that it happened to you... he claimed he had 88 though...

btw, u missed the wizard's epic day... we might not see him for a while...

[/ QUOTE ]

88 actually makes a lot more sense because even though Roy is horrible he is tight. After being awake for a billion hours I could have easily just seen double black Kings because I am 100% sure the retard on my right had a black K and a 4 of hearts because he tabled his hand in disgust after his flush got counterfeited and he had to play the board on the river. Once I am that far into a session the only thing that is going through my mind is how much fun it would be to bathe in the blood of my opponents and then wipe myself off with their dollars.

Maybe the escort thing is some new policy there? Brown said something to me about him having to do it if someone cashed out over 5k which I would estimate I've done approximately infinite times, but I was so exhausted that I didn't understand what he was actually saying. I felt bad not tipping him but I'd rather keep my money and get killed in the parking lot than tip any more of it away to casino employees.

[Sailboats]

Well... I just got back from a quick trip to Vegas. I was there Friday thru Sunday. I stayed at Cesears and the very first night went down to Pure. Damn, $30 dollar cover charge sucks but at least we were on the list and did not have to wait with all the suckers. The club was cool, but not $30 cool. Anyway onto poker...

Played a few games of NL @ Wynn and Cesears (both very soft). Damn was it hard to find any games of Limit that did not have a massive list. Finally after trying a few places I ended up at the Venetian on Sat. It was worth the search. There were really only two decent Limit games a 15/30 and 30/60. The 15/30 was fantastic. They had this great promotion with only a $2 rake!!! What a deal, thats even better than online isnt it? Anyway by the end of the night there was this middle eastern guy that had half the table gunning for him. Now I have seen some [censored] talking, but this guy was getting way out of hand. He found out that his neighbor in seat #8 was a lawyer. Every time he posted his blind he would raise it and make smart ass comments left and right. He would tell him, "I am smarter than you, I use rats like you to do my dirty work, to make me money." "You are mad at the world, that is why you smoke the pot and went to law school." He then got into it with another guy who was their soley to bust him (he announced this several times). Anyway the middle Eastern guy takes down a big pot by sucking out on him. Then as he is taking down the pot he calls the cop a "Mother [censored]." Ah damn did it hit the fan. The floor was called and an arguement ensued, almost got the guy kicked out. Anyway by 6:00AM my friends wanted to go, so I left with +600. Ah Vegas...

[swope]

started month ok, approx 10k bankroll.

wsop vegas: down just under 2 racks playing 15-30 at the bellagio. won some small/medium pots, just couldnt land the big ones. most of the loss just got blinded away. hyper obnoxious table for first part of night. aggressive euros capping with J8o against aggressive israeli capping with QTs capping against aggro arab with AKo. i call every last bit of this madness with 25s after folding hands that missed the flops anyway for 2 straight hours. never underestimate the power of rote. flop 2pr, and watch arab completely lose it when his turned ace is no good. the dealer winks at me and says "nice hand". my entirely godlike table image is wasted when another 3 hours goes by without a playable hand. move to another table, no action when i hit, miss the big pots, go broke, head back to my room to nurse a sinus infection from table 40 the night before.

get back to SF and head to artichoke joes the next day. buy 2 racks for 15-30. play tight for 4 hours, am up approximately 6 dollars, US. table eventually gets short handed, i rack up to leave. floor promises more people are joining in a moment. i decide to stick around. 3 hours later im felted. ziggin when i should have zagged, got chased off the best hands by what could probably be called implicit collusion about infinite times.

next weekend i head to garden city, get there 15 minutes late, am no longer on the list. bay 101 has seats open for 20-40 so i bounce. first time there, get seated immediately. buy 2 racks. up 3 stacks within an hour and feeling very, very good about the future. do not win a single pot for the next 3.5 hours. felted around 2am. got some comments about my 'lol donkaments' shirt. mumbled sup bro, did not get a suitable response. most definitely hit IHOP on the way home, which was good for the soul.

last weekend i head to GC for 20-40. buy in for one rack, which i generally never do. first hand; Q high flush draw in a 4 way pot, lots of action. flush does not come through. 1/3 of my rack is gone and my seats still cold. cold deckery ensues. total strangers table the nuts against me with obvious sympathy. total strangers feel sorry for me. they do not smile when they take my money. i buy a second rack after the first one evaporates. 4 way capped preflop with AQo in fairly early position, flop is QT7. there is much betting and reraising. im worried about overs but start to suspect im in good shape when a 7 on the turn brings about a checks to the button, who im fairly certain has KQ, and bets. one fold, i call, remaining player calls. river is a T. i check, dude to my left bets. call call, he tables KT and claps like a toy chimp as the dealer pushes him his money.

the next day i cash out the rest of my bankroll and purchase a new plasma tv, surround sound stereo, and upscanning dvd player.

[censored] you poker, you didnt get it all.

in a couple of weeks ill probably take a paycheck to the 40-80 game and party hardy like marty with a couple of racks and a massive slab of prime rib. if i lose it all in 2 hours, so be it. if i dont, ill start rebuilding my roll or throw whatevers left the next morning at PLO.

anyway, that was june.

[private joker]

swope -- that post was awesome.

[HOWMANY]

God I want to start winning again. Got to Ocean's and am 500 deep on the 40 because Mike wanted to go to Commerce so I didn't call in but now we aren't going. Get seat in 10/10 NL and stack some guy for about $800 when I have AA vs his KK (pure skill on my part). Sprinkle some back trying to stack a huge fish. Win like 10 bets playing 20 waiting for 40 seat. When I get 40 seat Mike decides we should go to Commerce, okay let us gogogo.

Sit in about a 5 handed 1/2 game. Everyone is terrible. Game quickly turns into HU with the player that seems the least horrible (later turns out he was just another fish), and some HORRIBLE guy I have played 40 with before sits. Thank you jesus. Win about a rack in this before moving to the other must move. I redistribute the dollars with expert efficiency, QQ vs "a set" vs KK on QT8? No problem, 9J turn and river. KK vs QQ and TT? How can the flop not come T high. QQ vs AQ? There's at least 20 aces in the deck, best to make sure they come on the turn. J6d on 789 two diamonds flop of course it misses against a single nine. Go to the restroom, post in CO and pick up KK? UTG has AA for the super payback from the 10/10 NL earlier. For every 1 time I get lucky I'm pretty sure 500 people get o978031479132041231325 times more lucky against me.

Somehow, perhaps by witchcraft that I was unaware I even possessed, I get back to even (actually 1.5BB winner) before getting moved to what looks like an awful main game. I decide to play 60 because Mike said it was good and I've still got some time before we leave.

When Mike said it was good he wasn't kidding. The 1/2 was okay, but this game is just wow amazing, I'd be surprised if any of the people that were in this game dress themselves in the morning. Unfortunately they don't respect my raises at all and I lose 3500 in maybe an hour after being unable to snap 62s with my KK or 55 with KT on K789 in two really big pots, along with about a million helpings of 66-99 on boards that feature just 1 over card and plenty of missed draws so I have to pay them.

Cliff notes:
Commerce is awesome
I really wish I was allowed to win at poker again