Your Worst/Best Strip Club Experience

[illeagle]

Back when I was about 20 a friend and I drove from East Texas to Fort Worth to go to a knife show and damned near hit a dear on the service road going 75-80 mph. Luckily the car stuck to the road as I swerved around the doe.

Anyway, we got to Fort Worth before the show started and saw a stripclub so we decided to kill a little time there. The club was in a big aluminum building kind of like a portable building. I noticed a discarded condom in the parking lot.

I felt a little nauseous and had a headache from the prior night's drinking. When we get inside we see the place has three girls working. Two in their twenties and one that looked like she was in her mid forties. The younger girls sit down with us and we talk. I remember the blond smiling and noticing that her yellow teeth were rotted down to little nubs. Uggh, this experience isn't mixing well with my hangover.

My friend went off in another room for a private dance with the 20 something brunette. While he was gone I just sat at the table with my head in my hands and the strippers left me alone because they could tell I wasn't digging the vibe of the place.

As soon as my friend came back from the private room he asks, "are you ready to go?" I just got up and we left. In the car he tells me, "that girl looked alright in the main room but when we got in that back room under the fluorescent light, she had bruises all over her body and on her titties."

That skanky little hovel made me feel sick and sad. I didn't go to a strip joint for a long time after that and still never go unless I'm with friends that really want to go to one.

[danielg]

After the 06 Aussie Millions, me and a bunch of friends went to the spearmint rhino now i had hear 100's of story's about this place but never been there.

One of my friends knows the manager or something so we get hooked up with the VIP area. We all kick in some $$ and instantly girls flock to us with champagne and then lots and lots of booze just bottles of vodka and scotch and whatever else i could remember i was well wasted. So after me and my mate skull the champagne we drink some vodka etc.

Now im only a low-limit grinder and poker is a hobby but some of my friends are real balla's and real rich too. So they keep telling the strippers that im one of the best poker players in Australia. this is just bad for me coz they think they are gonna make lots of money LOL.

So whilst 2 girls are trying to offer me dances etc. i hear over the speaker system, "now on stage is the orgy queen" i look over to the main stage and this one chick walks on and there are prob 8-10 girls already on stage the "Orgy Queen" just lies down and the other girls just go nuts licking her out etc. and im just in amazement. So i wanna get a dance and being a boobies man :P my mate organises with the manager to get the girl with the biggest. And boy was she worth all the moneys [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Here comes the beat [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] then the room starts spinning im about to puke so i bail midway through awesome lapdance and run for the toilets i start spewing and them smash my nose on the cubical wall and my nose starts pissing blood. Then security come coz some A-hole told em bout me spewing. And they think ive been doing coke or something coz my nose is bleeding, i then get booted out after only being there a few hours, one of my friends offers the bouncers money to let me stay but they cant let me stay coz im intoxicated.

But the best night of my life by far [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Also i was only 19 at the time.

Dan

[Alobar]

Its typically been my experience that the uglier the girls at the club the more fun it is.

[bobhalford]

There is a place in the Poconos called the Grand View. I don't really feel like describing it, but it is one of the most glorious places I've ever been to in my life. There is a room in the front where you keep all your alcohol for the evening. Then when you walk into the club it's like o my god. I've never seen anything that comes even remotely close. And it's like out in the middle of nowhere. If anyone has been there in the past 16 months or so, I would like to know what it's like these days. I could almost see myself renting a car to drive out there if it's still good. Man that place was so awesome I'm happy I thought of it. I haven't been to a strip club in a few years but I could see myself driving out 2.5 hours to this place.

[JayTee]

I don't know if these qualify as worst or best, but whatever:

I'm not a big fan of strip clubs, I find them depressing. But if I get drunk first I can definately have a blast. These both happened at a strip club next to a ski resort in WV.

1. Paid a forty year-old lactating stripper $20 to milk her tit into a shot glass and drink it. Pretty disgusting, but definately worth a laugh to 3 drunk guys.

2. My cousin and I stuck $57 in $1 bills in a strippers pussy. I know, I didn't think it was possible either. The thing was, we ran out of ones and by the time I got more her stage time was up.

[Thalum]

A year and a half ago for my bachelor party we went to a local strip club. I was already pretty wasted when we got there, and the guys proceeded to feed me 3-4 tequila shots as I walk in the club. Not 5 minutes after I am there, they have bought me a lapdance and off I go to the private booths. My head is spinning already, and I bascially just sit there as she does her thing. Halfway through, I feel that rumbling sensation, but my body is basically paralysed, and I proceed to puke all over my chest, and all over the stripper.

Needless to say I was escorted to the bathroom by security, and then to the parking lot. My friends managed to smooth talk the manager to letting me back in, and he even gave me a new shirt (some promotional beer shirt or whatev).

All this 5 minutes after walking into the club. Ah well, it was a hell of a time.

[Shoe]

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hands on lapdances (read: you can play with boobies).

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You mean there are places that don't allow this...???

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You mean there are places that do allow this....???

[Warik]

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hands on lapdances (read: you can play with boobies).

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You mean there are places that don't allow this...???

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You mean there are places that do allow this....???

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I guess I'm spoiled. If I haven't sucked on a tit during the first dance then I'm not buying a 2nd one.

[Shoe]

That's crazy. By me, you are stictly told to keep your hands by your side, any touching of any kind is prohibited. I haven't travelled far enough to find places like you describe though. Hopefully someday [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]