Dumb jokes you still find hilarious

[StrikeR300]

Blonde driving to the airport for a weekend getaway see's a sign that says Airport Left. So she goes home.

[matrix]

Why did the dumb blonde snort Nutra Sweet ?

She heard it was diet Coke.




Whats brown and sticky?

A stick.




Whats big green and furry - and if it falls out a tree on top of you it'll kill you.

A pool table.

[ScottieK]

A man was at a bar, and in walked Joe. Joe sat right next to the man, and Joe introduced himself. He said "hi, I'm Joe. I know everyone and everyone knows me." So the man said "I'll bet you a hundred dollars you don't know the mayor."

Joe said "okay, let's go to his house." The two went to the mayor's house, where the mayor shook Joe's hand warmly, asked about Joe's kids, and invited them in for dinner. The man was impressed.

He handed Joe the hundred bucks and said, "I'll bet you a thousand bucks you don't know the president." Joe said "let's go to the White House." They hopped a plane to D.C., went up to the White House gate, and they were let in by Secret Service, no problem. The President and the First Family met them outside and were so thrilled to meet one of Joe's friends that they took them on a private tour of the White House. The man was amazed.

He forked over the thousand bucks, shaking his head. Joe just smiled and said "I know everyone and everyone knows me." So the man said "I'll bet you ten thousand dollars you don't know the Pope." "Okay," Joe said, and the two flew to Rome, where the Pope was giving mass in the Vatican. There was a big crowd, and the man waited while Joe went up to see the Pope. Joe came out on the terrace and the Pope welcomed him with open arms and raised Joe's hand in unison for the crowd, and the crowd cheered.

Joe looked down to see the man's reaction, and the man had fainted! Joe rushed down the stairs to help the man, and revived him. Joe said "what happened?" The man said "I was impressed that you knew the mayor, and amazed that you knew the president, and totally astounded that you also know the Pope. But when you were up there, a man standing next to me asked me 'who's that guy up there with Joe?'"

[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

ScottieK

[gorie]

how does the butcher introduce his wife ?


MEAT PATTY!

[gorie]

also this dude i know has a joke where he uses the word hemaphore , until he gets you to ask "what's a hemaphore?"

then he says




POUNDIN' NAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[diebitter]

-- El D.

Are you sure you don't find this funny...

Q: What's Captain Picard's favourite rapper?
A: Snoop Borgy Borg

[El Diablo]

All,

I find all variations on this joke hilarious:

So, a grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink.

Bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

Grasshopper says "Oh yeah, you have a drink called Carl?"

HAHHAHAHHAHA

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
All,

I find all variations on this joke hilarious:

So, a grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink.

Bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

Grasshopper says "Oh yeah, you have a drink called Carl?"

HAHHAHAHHAHA

[/ QUOTE ]

I got a girl goot once with this. Her name was Julie, and she told me this.

"You remind me of the Shakin Stevens song!" says I.

"Julie?" says she.

"No. Hot Dog." says I, and she proceeds to chase me around the bar (we were working behind it at the time).

Okay, doesn't really work cos most of you guys don't know who the hell Shakin Stevens is...

but we drove down to Brighton that night, and made out on the beach, near the peer. It's cool making out under the stars on the beach at about 2am in the morning.

[GambleGamble]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
All,

I find all variations on this joke hilarious:

So, a grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink.

Bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

Grasshopper says "Oh yeah, you have a drink called Carl?"

HAHHAHAHHAHA

[/ QUOTE ]

I got a girl goot once with this. Her name was Julie, and she told me this.

"You remind me of the Shakin Stevens song!" says I.

"Julie?" says she.

"No. Hot Dog." says I, and she proceeds to chase me around the bar (we were working behind it at the time).

Okay, doesn't really work cos most of you guys don't know who the hell Shakin Stevens is...

but we drove down to Brighton that night, and made out on the beach, near the peer. It's cool making out under the stars on the beach at about 2am in the morning.

[/ QUOTE ]

Doesnt this belong in BBV

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Doesnt this belong in BBV

[/ QUOTE ]

Fussinrussin mods.