How many 5 year-olds.....

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

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and, suppose you could pick any weapon, but each kid gets the same weapon. what would you choose (if anything)? I would take a 35-pound spiked elongated mace or a 45-pound broadsword.

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the problem with heavy weapons is that they will tire you out swinging them, even if you are stronger-than-average. sure, the kids won't be able to lift the heavy weapons, but you've only got a limited number of swings in you, stamina-wise.

i'd take a nice aluminum baseball bat. sure, the kids will be able to lift it, but there's no way they have the strength to swing it hard enough to hurt you. and don't say they could all team up, because only a few kids can all hold it at the same time, and even then their swing would be terribly uncoordinated and weak. you could just stand there and play tee-ball with their heads all day, using the occasional kicks, etc., to deal with some of them.

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This strategy has some merit, but I think you really underestimate a kid with an aluminum bat. For this to work, I think you'd have to be an all-universe swordsman who could beat these kids down without letting them get a shot in.

I think in the end, the best strategy is to just pick either something so unweildy that they can't use it or something so ridiculously weak that it doesn't give them any advantage. I'd then just not use the weapon. I think there's plenty of advantage to the adult without any weapons and the introduction of any weapons is only tipping the scales more to the kids' favor.

[Shajen]

Hey gonores,

wtf got you guys talking about this subject? I mean, it's awesome, don't get me wrong, but wtf dude?

[lucas9000]

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Do you see why?

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classic.

on an unrelated note, i can't wait for some stupid idiot to think this thread is serious. "tonight on action news: internet psycopaths plot to kidnap 5 year-olds for gladiator-style deathmatch."

[elwoodblues]

A bat is an awful choice. At some point you will fall down or get tackled. Having kids hit you with bats while you are down would be horrible. You have to choose something heavier than a bat, but not too heavy to prematurely tire yourself. Either that or choose a weapon that requires greater dexterity than a five year old could handle (compound bow? would require both strength and dexterity.)

I think I would rather opt for some sort of protection over a weapon. Maybe a helmet without a face guard. That way, you can still hurt them pretty bad and protect the one part of the body that would allow them to knock you out.

[B00T]

I agree with standing in the corner and cracking their heads up againist the wall. A half push (they only weigh like 40 pounds total) would knock them out. I think I could even crack 2 at once with 2 hands and just ram them to the wall. I also like the wall idea so that you could back up againist it and not fall, as well as not having anyone hit your legs from behind or something that could cause you to lose balance.

I think with this strategy you could knock out about 70 before you come physically exhausted and are ripe for the pickens.

[lucas9000]

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I think in the end, the best strategy is to just pick either something so unweildy that they can't use it or something so ridiculously weak that it doesn't give them any advantage. I'd then just not use the weapon.

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ok then, so maybe this or one of these.

[MattSuspect]

- You are not allowed to touch a wall.

[lucas9000]

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A bat is an awful choice. At some point you will fall down or get tackled. Having kids hit you with bats while you are down would be horrible.

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damnit you're right. i feel like i'm inferior to a 5 year-old for even suggesting it. i guess i'll just take

a leather glove.

[jakethebake]

I wonder what the QLCers would think of this thread?

[Losing all]

I think 30 is way too low, even under the assumption they're highly motivated and fear failing this task more than being maimed or killed in action. 5 year olds have no power, no speed, and no height. You wouldn't need power kicks, hooks and uppercuts. more like light jabs and a stomp(this would save a lot of energy).

They'll never reach your head while standing, so only 2 ways to lose. get totally gassed, or taken down and stomped (and they'd probably need to get you down several times before they could keep you down)

People are seriously overestimiating 5 year olds here. I'll say 100, maybe a lot more.

9 or 10 year olds would be a different story. Would you rather do this (to the death) against 100 5yr olds, or 25 10yr olds? I'd take the 100