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#161
04-13-2007, 04:48 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
OP, a few words of advice.
1) Take your girlfriend away for the weekend and have a major discussion. Tell her that you love her very much and would like to marry her one day and have kids with her when BOTH of you are ready. This wont happen today but will happen some day. So if she really loves you then she should abort the baby. When you are both settled in life then you will get married and make babies. Then take her to a clinic at earliest appt. and get it done. Chalk it up as a lesson learnt. If she listens to you and does this out of love for you, you got a keeper. 2) If plan 1) doesnt work, tell her that you are on your way out. She can choose to raise the baby on her own or give it up for adoption but its not your problem. All she can claim from you is 18 years of child support. DONT LET YOUR GF HOLD YOU HOSTAGE from your dreams. All she can claim is child support and nothing more nothing less. You made a terrible mistake of not using protection properly but you shouldnt have to pay for it for the next 20 or so years just for one night of mistake. Best of luck on your journey. p.s. Try to follow the these practices. You will have a safe, worry free sexual life for the rest of your life. 1) wear protection. 2) ALWAYS finish outside. People who say accidents happen, have no effin self control. If you are given a choice of 20 years of child support or a little less pleasure by finishing outside, its not really a choice. answer should be clear cut. 
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#162
04-13-2007, 04:49 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] To really love someone means to put their welfare in front of your own. [/ QUOTE ] Hooray for arbitrary guilt-trip statements made by women! [/ QUOTE ] I agree it's a cliche and I didn't state my opinion well. In more discrete terms: Love isn't roses and valentines day and long walks on the beach. Love is paying the bills, getting up with kids in the middle of the night, taking care of one another, all the day to day things that it takes to make it. It doesn't mean you always put your needs last, but that you're part of a team. People often confuse infatuation with love. I just passed the point where I've been married longer than I was single. Weird, but good.
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#163
04-13-2007, 04:54 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
So if she really loves you then she should abort the baby. [/ QUOTE ] Some of the advice in this thread blows my mind, please don't say this
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#165
04-13-2007, 04:56 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] So if she really loves you then she should abort the baby. [/ QUOTE ] Some of the advice in this thread blows my mind, please don't say this [/ QUOTE ] Why so? He is just making his case. Its called persuasion. She has to choose between him or the baby. thats all. The decision is still hers.
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#166
04-13-2007, 04:58 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] So if she really loves you then she should abort the baby. [/ QUOTE ] Some of the advice in this thread blows my mind, please don't say this [/ QUOTE ] Why so? He is just making his case. Its called persuasion. She has to choose between him or the baby. thats all. The decision is still hers. [/ QUOTE ] Congrats. You're the first poster I've ever put on ignore. I wish you the best of luck in life, sir.
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#167
04-13-2007, 04:59 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
Gf just came back from the OBGYN and has pics of it now. 8 weeks 2 days and healthy. She has now made it very clear that abortion and adoption are out of the question. I have no [censored] clue what I'm going to do now... Hey Tom, you seem to know a whole bunch about me - what comes next? TY for being so supportive btw. [/ QUOTE ] I feel for you. I really do. I understand that you feel you are not ready. (I was older and married and still wondered how in the world I was supposed to be a role model.) My suggestion is don't make any huge decisions now. You're still reeling from this and it will take a while to even come to terms with the fact that your life has taken a turn you didn't expect. Give yourself a week or two to calm down. Having a child is not the end of the world. It isn't a death sentence for your future success. You can still have a wonderful life. We started married life with nothing living in a $250 a month efficiency and were very successful. People do it all the time. Consider checking into classes at a local Tech college for a career that will give you a chance at a good future. For the sake of you, the girl, and your baby, I hope that you can work it out and give your child a wonderful home. Also, I wouldn't plan on making a move in the next couple years. The family support will be very helpful. Three years or five years down the road? Get out of town to somewhere with more opportunity. Good luck. P.S. It might also help to think in these terms. This is the future that you were looking forward to a month ago. You were thinking engagement followed by marriage and kids. It's just happened sooner than you planned. Don't panic. You can handle this. At least you're not 18 and a senior in high school.
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#168
04-13-2007, 05:00 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
I just read all this and realized how much I don't trust my girlfriend with taking the pill alone, and am in the same spot as OP pre-pregnancy. I will be wrapping it up from now without fail.
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#169
04-13-2007, 05:00 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
"Why so? He is just making his case. Its called persuasion. She has to choose between him or the baby. thats all. The decision is still hers."
clearly you are going to be one heck of a salesmen some day...have you considered vacuums or encyclopedia's door to door? i think you could be rich within a month
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#170
04-13-2007, 05:05 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] So if she really loves you then she should abort the baby. [/ QUOTE ] Some of the advice in this thread blows my mind, please don't say this [/ QUOTE ] Why so? He is just making his case. Its called persuasion. She has to choose between him or the baby. thats all. The decision is still hers. [/ QUOTE ] Congrats. You're the first poster I've ever put on ignore. I wish you the best of luck in life, sir. [/ QUOTE ] Must be a low threshold of tolerance considering i neither used profanity nor cuss words towards anyone. Just presented advice amongst many other words of advice given to the OP. anyway, more power to you.
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