Dramatics! Neverwin Stars Busto? Collateral Damage?

[Buried]

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I'm wondering if I may have indirectly contributed to some of this situation...

A week or two ago, I was sitting at a 200/400 table by myself and then Unassigned sat in to play me, and I sat out and said I didn't want to play him... He left, then ~2 minutes later Bill Chen sat in, I played a few hands, and then said, "Terrence is this you still?" Then Unassigned joined the table while we were playing, and said something like, "no, I only play on my own account." I responded something like, "ok, just making sure... I know you two are good friends." Unassigned then says, "Bill, Papa is saying that because I just tried to play him HU."

So yeah, don't know if that would spark Chen to have pokerstars investigate account sharing.

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You're saying that Bill "Tournament Team" Chen started all of this by complaining about account sharing?

[antisocialgrace]

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theres no way you can be serious.




lol?

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I'm very serious and I speak from experience.

You seem like a sweet girl (you look that way in your pics anyway--and no I'm not objectifying you) but there's so much wrong with your line here I don't even know where to start.

It's not okay to use sex as a currency just because it's accepted more places than American Express.

[PokerBob]

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I know I'm about to be publicly hanged for anything I write on here. In all honesty, I know it's even deserved. My life has been a ticking time bomb until a few months ago. I made a lot of poor decisions and used bad judgement.

I didn't know how to handle my life all the sudden being all over the internet. After Festa, any little thing I did was reported and splashed all over forums. Everything. Camera phone pics were taken of me making out with the person I was dating at the time. In Niagara Falls of all places! The fact that I took a shower during my dinner break at a WSOP event and came back wearing different clothes. It's sick really. And it can be a bit overwhelming. I did not (and still to this day) know how to handle it.

For a few months, I did go a bit crazy. I drank a lot. I got involved with the wrong people. I made poor choices. And yet the entire time, I could not escape being bad mouthed and criticized. That just exacerbated my frame of mind and all the stress I was under. Family, friends, and practically everyone who is a part of my life had to deal with it as well. They could not understand the ammount of hate I received (and continue to receive) or what exactly I had done to deserve it.

You all had wanted to see a trainwreck and that's what you got. Or to be more accurate, that's what you caused. I think it's easy for you to stare out at someone from the outside and have your opinions, to hide behind your computer screen and make judgements about someone's life. I've never understood it, but I don't hold grudges. I know that my actions and the way I conducted myself at the time brought a lot of it on myself.

Over the past year, I've grown a lot and matured. My skin has become a bit thicker. The insults don't insult me anymore. It's a funny thing that the only people who continue to insult me are people who do not even know me or have only met me once (during the time when my life was in ruins and I was an emotional wreck).

Despite what is written here, I am well liked and respected by the top people in my field. They are who I spend my time with. They are who I hang out with for drinks and attend dinners and parties with. Even Mr. Newhouse, who continually trashes me on this forum, is pleasant to me and speaks to me in person. We have exchanged brief greetings every time we have seen eachother. There has not been any heated arguments or drama. Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I feel that we both knew we made mistakes and just want to let bygones be bygones. If I am wrong, Mark... instead of continuing to trash me here... let's meet up and discuss an agreement about the money. I've been open to that for some time now. You know where I'm staying. I have no problem sitting down with you or grabbing a drink and clearing things up.

I know that writing this is not going to change anyone's opinion of me. I did a lot of stupid things, which by age and experience I have since learned from. I was a goofball and being silly and had let someone take that ridiculous picture of me. I had no idea that it would be all over the internet and people would think that I am a whore or an attention whore or trashy. I never took into account how others would perceive my actions. Now I do. When I had made another poor decision involving Captain Tom, I didn't know how to handle it. I made the mistake of posting something online because I thought maybe I could get some support or advice or my money back. All that backfired. So I now keep my mouth shut about my grievances with other people and don't publicly air dirty laundry in the poker world. There's no point. If something happens in my life now, I keep it to myself or the very few around me who I can trust to advise me. Most of all, I learn from my mistakes.

You can say what you like about me. Only time will change anyone's opinions on here. I also understand that some opinions may never change. My biggest hero in life, my father, once told me something very important... He said "Be who you are and speak who you are; Because the people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter."

Those words keep me strong now. I've had to learn the hard way about who matters and who doesn't. I've had to face a lot of betrayals over the past year. It's enough to tear anyone down, but I'm still standing. I feel sorry for any woman my age who is a part of this industry. I've watched two others whose lives are now in ruin. Lucky for me, I've been able to come out of it all... unscathed and not jaded, but definitely more guarded.

As for poker, this is my passion. I may not be the best player in the world, but I am working on it every day. This year, you will only see more of me as I am playing a lot more tournaments. The other night I cashed 10th place (which paid the same as 9th since everyone agreed to a chop to pay 10th as well) in the Legends of Poker's 1K Omaha Hi-Lo Event. It was my first split tournament and I had played short stacked the entire event.

I now know how to play every game. I am no longer studying with anyone. And I'm excited for the months ahead.

The only thing I don't appreciate is seeing other people (who personally know me and who I am as a person) be continually berated for saying anything positive about my conduct. I also thank those of you who write nice things and thus give me the positive feelings and encouragement in an industry that for a woman can be both disheartening and depressing.

Either way, I like to wish everyone here a prosperous upcoming months and send out some good luck.

~ Brandi Hawbaker

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Brandi,

Did you write this? I am not calling in to question the sincerity of what is expressed, I am just curious if this was written exclusively by you or with the help of someone else.

PokerBob

[glimmertwin]

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there's nothing self contradictory about wanting to be more than the very basic animal who wants to lay with every other member of the opposite sex and being resentful that's virtually impossible because you're a loser.


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Fixed that for you.

[Aggressive_Call]

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Mark... instead of continuing to trash me here... let's meet up and discuss an agreement about the money

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tried to text u a while back, pm me ur new number

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The cycle repeats?

[antisocialgrace]

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there's nothing self contradictory about wanting to be more than the very basic animal who wants to lay with every other member of the opposite sex and being resentful that's virtually impossible because you're a loser.


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Fixed that for you.

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thank you for the profound insight so many moons have shaped little boy.

[metsandfinsfan]

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i think its just human nature to take the path of least resistance. im not saying you're suppposed* to do it. im just saying you cant fault someone for snapping up the benefits. it just sounds like a bunch of guys mumbling "whore" under their breath while not taking their eyes off her [censored]. thats the bs.

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Let's not forget how she got started on this lifestyle. No one "created this trainwreck".


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it's a cute picture, she was trying to make a lil money after being scammed out of some, and people think that makes her the town whore

lol nvg

[metsandfinsfan]

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tilly has a million topless photos on the web and shana was naked in playboy. whores??

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most people on here hope the answer is yes

[pernicus53]

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i think its just human nature to take the path of least resistance. im not saying you're suppposed* to do it. im just saying you cant fault someone for snapping up the benefits. it just sounds like a bunch of guys mumbling "whore" under their breath while not taking their eyes off her [censored]. thats the bs.

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You've referred to essentially the basic line of reasoning I've always heard from women who like to show their breasts at the poker table:
1. guys are constantly staring at breasts
2. we women should take some of it back for ourselves by using that to our advantage
3. guys are so hormonal and simple that we gals will inevitably win piles of chips when the guys cease to function at the site of our ya-ya's.

Now, if the idea is that women think of their breasts as private (debatable these days) and if they are truly uncomfortable on a day-to-day basis having them stared at, then forgive men for being a bit puzzled as to why that same woman would blithely pop them out at the poker table. We're to believe that while you think it's problematic for guys to be so interested in breasts, you're willing, most likely as the only female at the table, to put them on display for chips? (Are you that sure this strategy will work?)
I don't consider the woman in this situation to be a whore in the sense of being sexually promiscuous. I myself can consider a bit of cleavage (or a lot of cleavage) to not be a big deal and not something to make my lose my censored. But the woman WANTS me to lose it so she can have her edge. One can consider her a "whore" in the sense of being willing to put her boobs on display in a room with fifty men and three women if it means a small monetary advantage. Yes, that's a bit of a mean way of looking at it, but there's cynicism all around here.

We're not talking about "women's bodies are beautiful. I'm proud of my breasts, I should be able to show them a little and guys should just say thank you for showing them they look nice, you're not a whore." That's not the spirit in which women show them--ever. We're talking about mutual exploitation. That's bound to cause tension. As I mentioned in a PM I sent you, Jenn, at my very few times in card rooms, I've noticed screwed up energy between men and women. I thought some of it was genuine male pig crap, and yet, as I mentioned, we did have, in one instance, at our table, a well-endowed young blonde showing everything but nipple. One guy said it was nice that we had "something to look at." There was something in this that I found crass and inappropriate, but she didn't seem to bat an eye. She knew what she was showing--I guess my visceral reaction was to be turned off by the guy's remark (the "thing" in particular) but at the same time, his thought process had to have been something like "I've got these boobs spilling out two feet from me and I have to act like I can't see them?" I myself might say that, particularly away from the table when money isn't the issue, a woman flaunting her breasts isn't a whore--she's an attention whore.

[ICallHimGamblor]

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just because it happens doesnt make it right and just because its commonplace doesnt mean i have to accept it as is. that it all.

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I see. "I choose not to accept it" means "you have to listen to me whine".

I would think you would consider yourself lucky that you have chosen a hobby/profession that is optimal for you. It seems like there are three options here:
(1) You can put your money down at the table and win, like Jennifer Harmon and Katja Thater and others. No evil man can stop you. Success.
(2) You can fail at poker and use your looks to your advantage and try to get sponsorship by being hot like Evelyn Ng and Liz Lieu and Brandy and others. You will be banking on the basest instincts of evil men. Success.
(3) You can do neither and whine about how unfair life is on 2+2. Success undetermined.

None of this addresses your original point, which was that we were all unfair troglodytes to Brandy because no one knows what happened so it must be everyone's fault equally since everyone must have been on drugs, and Newhouse wouldn't have had a problem with her stealing the money if she had put out. You only switched to this "the man is forcing us to use our boobs" argument when your other one was exposed as borderline retarded.

I am off to the casino now, so I can't banter back and forth with you, but I will catch up tonight. I can't wait to hear what your next self-righteous screed is about.

Off to fight those evil men! I hope I don't have to take my shirt off.