the most inappropriate thing you've ever said/heard

PokerBob · #1 09-20-2006, 04:00 PM

i, and many of my friends, are hilarious. our hilarity, however, is often irreverant and offensive, and our wit often gets us into trouble.

my friend was going to NYU during 9/11. he was outside when the second plane hit. as they all stared in shock/awe/horror/confusion a woman said, as if thinking out loud,

"What happened to that plane? Is it in the building?"

my friend instantly responds,

"well, not without a security pass."

so, what are some of the most horrible things you have said/heard?

AsH_KeTcHuM · #2 09-20-2006, 04:07 PM

In my human sexuality class here in college I had one professor who was a youngish black lady, and her assistant professor was a youngish white guy who is crippled and permanently in a wheel chair.

On the first day of class we were just doing introductions and stuff and having a question & answer type thingy just to get to know each other, and she says to her assistant "Scott, i know I'm not the only one wondering about this... so does ummmm, everything work down there?"

Half the class had their mouths open at her bluntness and the rest of us were trying to hold back the laughter.

Force1 · #3 09-20-2006, 04:13 PM

I was at a party and this guy got a phonecall and he just started crying on the spot so everyone was like whats going on and he said that his mother was finally allowed to come to the United States (he was mexican and was born her) so then 1 guy at the party looks the dude in the eye and says "Well if that spick wouldn't of snuck into the country to have you it wouldn't be that big of a deal". Now racism isn't that shocking but this guy was like a usually very nonconfrontational so it was weird to see.

sightless · #4 09-20-2006, 04:53 PM

[ QUOTE ]
In my human sexuality class here in college I had one professor who was a youngish black lady, and her assistant professor was a youngish white guy who is crippled and permanently in a wheel chair.

On the first day of class we were just doing introductions and stuff and having a question & answer type thingy just to get to know each other, and she says to her assistant "Scott, i know I'm not the only one wondering about this... so does ummmm, everything work down there?"

Half the class had their mouths open at her bluntness and the rest of us were trying to hold back the laughter.

[/ QUOTE ]

What happened next?

Shrug · #5 09-20-2006, 05:01 PM

Years ago, I ran a national catalogue for tennis court supplies. One day a guy misdialed thinking he was calling a company dealing with ham radio equipment.
After I explained that he had a wrong number and that we sold tennis court posts, nets, etc, He laughed and said,
"Well that does me no good because I am blind. Could you see me playing tennis?"
Before I could stop myself I said, "Yes, but you couldn't."
Thank God he laughed.

meccaNES · #6 09-21-2006, 06:19 PM

So there's this joke...which i think is hilarious because i'm demented like that.

What's the differnce between a dead baby and a rock? You can't [censored] a rock!!

Yeah yeah i know i know.

But it creates uncomforitable situatiosn and usually unwanted guests just leave me and others alone when told this joke in most social situations.

Friend and i are sitting in the mall eating some chik-fil-a.

Four uggos sit at a table across from us. They just walked out of "whores r us" and are trying to look attractive etc.

Unsuccessfully.

I encourage my friend to finish his nuggets faster because we need to leave...two uggos get up and sit at our table.

they say hi...blah blah...one admits to being a whore (wtf? oh wait this is texas...98% of the women you meet in texas are whores...oh well). She looks ok and i'm thinking "[censored] it?". The other is annoying and i decide to tell the joke.

me - "What's the differnce between a dead baby and a rock?"

before i can get to the punchline

whore - "I never pushed a rock out of my vagina?"

me - TOUCHE!!!!

and i get up and leave...

hawk59 · #7 09-20-2006, 04:07 PM

a few years ago I was hanging out at my friends house with a bunch of HS friends, he still lived with his parents. my friends parents were not home, but his mom has MS and is completely immobile/confined to a wheelchair and has been for some time.

so we were hanging out, and i guess the windows were open because someone says "why is it so cold in here?". one of my stupider friends says "Because it keeps Mike's mom alive." Complete silence, most people left soon afterwards. He honestly didn't mean to be mean, I think it was just something terrible that popped into his head, and then even more terribly he said it out loud.

XXXNoahXXX · #8 09-20-2006, 04:08 PM

9/11 related ones...

On 9/11- "So does this mean we'll have school off tomorrow?"

"There's more planes still in the air?? Cool, I wonder where they'll hit."

Mister Peanut · #9 09-20-2006, 04:10 PM

[ QUOTE ]
On 9/11- "So does this mean we'll have school off tomorrow?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, everyone was asking this question.

octop · #10 09-21-2006, 08:34 PM

[ QUOTE ]
9/11 related ones...

On 9/11- "So does this mean we'll have school off tomorrow?"

The next day I had school was 9/13. My retard physics professor was bitching about people not having their HW. On 9/11 (my college was in Mnahtten BTW) my 1 PM stat class had 3 people in it (it was an 80 person class- I was not there)
The next class the teacher apologized for holding class but said he hadnt heard about the attack. Gee [censored] when 3 people out of 80 show up you might wanna find out if anything has happened.