Would you be ok with your gf going skinny dipping with guys?

[Easy E]

Oh, this was a hygiene preference? Okay then. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[wacki]

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How can I answer a point based on pure conjecture without knowing the specific girl concerned. For the purpose of discusion your question is for all intents and purposes meaningless.

My point is based on a universal observation about adultery so we are able to discuss it without knowing the specific female concerned.

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This is a cheap cop out and you know it. You can talk about ways to identify if it's a test. Or how to deal with a test. Or admit there might be cases where the situation she is putting you in trumps your ideology. Or.....

I want to agree with you king, I just know life is a situational game. There is no cookbook.

would write more.... busy....

[Bluffoon]

I would be fine with it. It's a free country, she can do what she wants. And while she was skinny dipping I would be busy finding a new girlfriend.

[augie_]

No, I would not be okay with that. In fact, I'd be pissed that she even brought it up. How lame.

[mike_scar]

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This is a joke, right? She's already cheating or it's going to come eventually.

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yup. if you had no doubts, why bring it up.

edit: but, who cares. you go ahead and do your thing too.

/duh

[West]

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Not if she knows that will be the last time she will be [censored]..g me or will be bringing about the end of [censored]..g me.

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Maybe she doesn't "know" this, because if you don't bat an eye when she decides she's going to go skinny dipping with an ex-boyfriend, you *might* never know if she cheats on you!

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Anyway you missed my point was that if she was going there to [censored] her ex-bf then swimsuit/no swimsuit same outcome.

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True. Except that she might not have any explicit intentions in advance, other than to ogle and/or be ogled. For all we know, this is simply a first backhanded attempt to breakup with OP. If so, sure, it's going to happen sooner or later regardless of what happens with skinny dipping. Or, it could be she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Or, she's not sure what she wants.

Either way, to me it doesn't change the fact that going skinny dipping with a bunch of guys, including an ex-boyfriend, is obviously, blatantly disrespectful of the relationship, unless you have an "open" relationship to begin with.

Would your SO mind if you went skinny dipping with a bunch of girls, including an ex??

[jakethebake]

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GF wants to go skinny dipping with a group of 2-3 guys and 2-3 girls.

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[gorie]

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I don't get that from your statement at all. It's implying that even if she sleeps with someone else 'while' dating you, yours is still special.

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i think it is possible.

[asofel]

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I don't get that from your statement at all. It's implying that even if she sleeps with someone else 'while' dating you, yours is still special.

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i think it is possible.

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sure it is. you can definitely be hooking up with two people and have feelings for both. i do think there's a relationship between exclusivity in a relationship and the value of how "special" something is for those two people.

To take it to an extreme, when Jenna Jameson has sex with her husband, i'm sure its "special". But you can't say its not as special (especially in the unique sense of the word) as if sex was something she only shared with him.

at least that's what she told me when we had sex...

[SammyKid11]

Kurosh...

I'm going to attempt a serious reply here. You have gotten a lot of one-liners and mean implications given to you on this thread (and, admittedly...what did you expect when you ask The Internet about your relationship). But here's the thing.

This isn't about whether or not your gf has cheated on you (though from listening to your words only, I'd be willing to make an even-money bet that somewhere along the line she's done something that you considered real betrayal). It's not about whether or not it's cool for your gf to show off her body to other guys. It's not about whether her ex-bf is going to be there or not. It's about her having an appropriate amount of respect for you.

I'm not a chauvinist guy...I believe women should have equal rights as men, and I believe relationships should have balance. But women have a natural power advantage, especially with younger guys who are so happy to be getting laid by a hottie (with DD breasts, I might add) that they'll go along with quite a lot to ensure that well doesn't dry up. However, in order for ANY relationship to actually succeed long-term, there has to be a balance of real, mutual respect.

If my gf came to me and asked if I'd be okay with her skinny-dipping in front of guys (possibly including her ex, blah blah)...just the act of her asking me would be a sign that she does not have much respect for me. Because she KNOWS that I'm not a nudist or a hippy or a swinger. If that makes me "jealous" because I have a "typical" American attitude toward what's appropriate for someone I'm in a relationship with, then so be it. But she knows that about me, and so she knows without asking that it's not cool (not the least of which because she wouldn't be comfortable with it if the situation were reversed).

From the sounds of it, your gf knows that you're not any of the above people (nudist, hippy, swinger)...and therefore, the fact that she asked anyway, and the fact that she got upset at your resistance, is indicative of a relationship in trouble. She's stabbing at more power and that's simply not something you can give her if you want a long-term thing. It may sound counter-intuitive, but the only way I've found a relationship to have a long-term chance in this day and age is for a guy to stand up at or near the beginning and lay down a few simple laws for what he wants and what he will and won't put up with:
a) As other posters have said, she will respect you for standing up for yourself.
b) You're not put in positions like this where you have to apologize for having very normal feelings of not wanting other guys ogling her naked, not wanting a potentially dangerous sexual situation to come up, etc.
c) Laying down a few rules would keep her from acting so callously in the first place. Her friends don't like you and don't invite you? WHY DOES SHE HANG OUT WITH THEM? If YOU are the man in her life, she ought to have already told those people to accept you or be prepared to not see much of her.

So...not based on anything but a desire to see your own relationship have a chance, you need to stand up, tell your girl what you're okay with and what you're not (do it nicely, but do it firmly). If she's really all that into you, this will cause her heart to flutter because it will unlock her animal instinct to be with A MAN. If she's not really that into you, she will use it as a reason to break up with you...and if she does that, it's something that would have happened soon anyway (and this way, it'll be because of your terms, not because you got dumped after being cheated on).

Anyway, best of luck to you in whatever you decide.


P.S. - Aside from any issues of jealousy, 2 or 3 guys and a girl with a rockin' body showing off her DD breasts is a dangerous situation...not because she might cheat, but because the male sex drive is a powerful and sometimes sick and twisted thing. Throw in alcohol, young guys, nudity, and a hottie in a swimming pool.....and this IS how rape sometimes happens. You do NOT know these guys well enough to know whether one or more of them are capable of that, and neither does she (though she might claim to). No one knows a sex criminal is a sex criminal until he gets caught. And sometimes, guys don't even know that about themselves until they're so tempted and drunk that it just happens. Anyway, something else to think about.