Unrequited love - what to do?

[Fast Food Knight]

Learn how to play the drums.

[Quanah Parker]

[ QUOTE ]
You are on the friends ladder and there is zero chance you can jump to the real ladder. The sooner you can stop seeing and thinking about this girl the better, she's only going to hurt you.

[/ QUOTE ]

awesome, all the answers are here.
examples
Scenario 3: A girl says any of the following to you:

* "You're like a brother to me"
* "You're like a big teddy bear"
* "I feel like I can talk to you about anything"
* "You're so nice"
* "Can you help me with my homework"


Ladder Theory Explanation: You are on the friends ladder. So Sorry.

and

cuddle bitch(n) - a guy who never gets to sleep with a girl but gets to have intimate moments with her like cuddling, spooning, or otherwise being affectionate. Usually this will occur in private. She probably considers him a really sweet guy, which is the kiss of death.

[nature\\\'s_hated]

Just starting to read the ladder theory... am pretty drunk as have been at strip club - nice bump and grind dances from hot short-haired Hungarian girl, funny how easy my body finds it to respond when I'm paying, yet how timid I am with real girls who might reject me. Anyway, this bit grabbed my attention straight away and seems very true for this girl:

"If they are not cool then they are probably just attractive and why would i want to hang out with them if they won't sleep with me? If they are cool then the desire to sleep with them will only intensify the more I hang out with them so I am really only torturing myself emotionally to hang out with them and pretend that that is all I want. Why would I or any guy want to put himself through that?"

[nature\\\'s_hated]

I liked this bit too:


Scenario 1: Tom meets Jane. She's pretty and seems interesting to talk to. Tom and Jane start haging out and talking more and more. Tom develops an attraction to Jane, and one day tries to kiss her. Jane tell Tom she doesn't think of him that way and she wants to remain friends. The next few weeks contact between the two falls off. Jane starts [censored] an outlaw biker.

Ladder Theory Explanation: Tom met Jane. Tom was immediately placed on the friends ladder. Tom didn't know this. Tom tried to jump ladders. Jane kicked Tom in the head rather than let him on and sent him hurtling to the Abyss below. The oulaw biker was not on her friends ladder (they never are) but rather on her good ladder.

Scenario 2: Tom meets Jane. She's cute and seems smart. After an appropriate amount of time he asks her out on a date. She acccepts and they have what seems to be a perfectly nice date. Tom thinks he has a chance with Jane. He asks her out again. She says no, either explicitly or by never returning his phone call. Tom has no idea what the Hell just happened. Jane starts [censored] an unemployed alcoholic.

Ladder Theory Explanation: Jane misrepresented which ladder Tom was on. He thought he was on the good ladder because of her acceptance of the date. Mistake. This led to an unintentional ladder jump. He was kicked into the Abyss. In this situation, Jane often wants to stay friends becasue you are so interesting and funny or some [censored] like that. If this happens you are most likely an Intellectual Whore. I'm sorry. This is most likely to be a ninja-bitch.

[nature\\\'s_hated]

And this:

Many intellectual whores get something out of the relationship--if they're masochists. Many of them are holding out for their intellectual pimp to realize how good they would be together. Those are called fools, and deserve every minute of mental anguish they suffer. Some men are so pussified they are unable to summarily dismiss a woman from their life if she won't sleep with him, even though this is usually the appropriate course of action. You probably only met her because you wanted to [censored] her, why keep her around if you can't? Some women are interesting enough to keep around, or maybe are useful as footstools, but I almost never meet them. In any case, if she felt no obligation to [censored] you, you should feel no obligation to keep her as a friend, which calls for much more time and energy.

[CrayZee]

[ QUOTE ]
Spent nine years in love with a girl who doesn't love me, who's happy to be friends but won't see me that often, and runs a mile if ever I tell her how I feel.

[/ QUOTE ]

Only read the cliffs...you don't really need Dr. Joyce Brothers, or even OOT, to give you the answer, right?

Probably just cut it off w/ her is the best solution, or simply be friends, if that's even poss. for you. You can't force or really convince someone to love you if they're not interested.

Move on to your next obsession, there's a million broads in the sea or whatever. The "only one perfect soul mate" idea is fallacious. There are many pat hands out there for you.

[PhatPots]

I got bored about 3 lines into the post. But my advice is to not put the pussy on the pedestal

[CheckCheckFold]

[ QUOTE ]
I got bored about 3 lines into the post. But my advice is to not put the pussy on the pedestal

[/ QUOTE ]

This is TRUTH. Think about it. Live it. And you will be better for it.

[Hopey]

First of all:

[ QUOTE ]
I first saw her across a crowded room in 1999

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, it's been 8 years. You're not a potential boyfriend...you've become a stalker. If she didn't want you 8 years ago, 7 years ago, 6 years ago, 5 years ago...etc...she won't want you now. Get over her. You're wasting your life and your time.

She doesn't respect you. She sees you as a snivelling worm who is at her beck and call. You're her "friend"...but only when she has nothing else to do and needs an ego boost by hanging around someone who worships her. She'll never love you.

Secondly:

You may have answered this already, but have you had sex with any other women in the last 8 years? I'm scared that your answer will be "no".

Banging a few other chicks will put things in perspective when it comes to this girl. Trust me.

[wildzer0]

I had to stop reading this about 20 posts in. Everything OP says creeps me out horribly.