So I had a date tonight

[EricW]

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...think of girls like prisons. You need to shank a mthrfker in the shower on day one to show them you are loco.


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This is pure gold. I lol'ed

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[DeezNuts]

goofy, you are one of my favorite posters.

especially since i have no idea where that Brian guy went.

[EricW]

goofy,

update on situation with girl plz. Plz tell me you didn't study with her.

[goofyballer]

This is going to be extremely painful for all involved...just blame Eric, he asked for the update.

After coming home and writing the OP on Saturday night, I got the brilliant idea to write her a letter telling her why the stuff she said on the pier as wrong and she should make out with me, because when girls don't like me my first instinct is naturally to write things to them explaining why they should. So, I drafted this up on the computer:



Hot bio chick -

I tend to be better at expressing my feelings & thoughts through writing than on the spot during conversation, so here goes.

One of the fears you expressed is that our friendship would be ruined if we kissed; yet, introducing feelings like this into a friendship is going to change things regardless of how much you may want them to stay the same. I can't look at you without thinking about kissing you; can we really pretend that isn't there? I love the way it felt when our eyes met across the table countless times in lab, and how just through this look you could convey the mounds of frustration that room caused you along with the smallest and most beautiful hint of grace that you had someone to share it with. I can't and won't pretend the spark in your eyes doesn't bring a smile to my face when our gazes meet.

You also seemed worried that if we kissed, it would somehow compromise the relationship you have with your summer boyfriend; if that's the case, then what about the feelings we already share? If you really don't feel anything for me romantically then that's one thing, and I understand; but, it doesn't seem to me like that's the case. If you're worried that adjusting to your summer life at home is going to be difficult as a result of kissing me, how will avoiding this kiss without addressing those feelings inside fix the problem?

Plus, I come with references lauding my talent at kissing; though I admit to being a bit rusty at the art, I strongly believe that only a night or so's worth of practice would return me to the top of my game. Your assistance in this area would be greatly compensated as you reap the rewards of enjoying many passionate kisses with me, the likes of which it is quite possible you have never felt before.

We can blissfully enjoy this last week that we have together by kissing repeatedly without reservation or restraint; we can look back upon it and smile & laugh at the fleeting bond we shared. This, to me, is a far better alternative than ignoring the feelings we both know are there and awkwardly dancing around them for as long as we remain friends. I feel lucky to have met a mature, sexy, and intelligent girl like you as I finish my college career, and I can't think of a better way to spend my last week than to share my last college fling, no strings attached, with you. To say that it "isn't fair" isn't good enough. My happiness, and yours, deserve better than to be cast aside over an arbitrary judgement of what's "fair." And nothing right now could make me happier than to close my eyes and softly place my lips onto yours.

- goofyballa



Yes, I really did write that fourth paragraph. I blame alcohol.

Anyway, I called her up Sunday to be like "yo let's study" so I could give her the letter, and so about 8pm I went over to her place. She was home alone, which was good because otherwise things could get seriously awkward; we started chatting, she got up to do something, I busted out the letter and when she came back I handed it to her saying "oh, here are those notes from the day of class you missed," and she looked at it and saw that it was a letter and started chuckling. She said "am I supposed to read this now?" and I said "sure" so she started reading. She was smiling most of the way through, made little comments at certain things (at one point she said "you're very poetic"), and finally finished and put it down and said "you're putting me in a really hard spot here" while smiling at me.

I was hoping it was a "hard spot" as in "goofy, I'm really trying to respect this guy back home but you're making it soooooo hard by being such a charming goofy baller" and thus leading into a heavy makeout session, but it was more like "you're putting me in a hard spot because I don't want to hurt your feelings." We had another really long talk about all of our feelings, and she tried to explain where she was coming from and got frustrated because it didn't make a lot of sense, but the gist of it I got was that she was actually digging this guy back home pretty hard and she didn't have the ability to have feelings for anyone else right now. She clarified a lot of things I was confused about, for example:

- When she invited me over Weds night while I was drunk to work on the lab report, she really did just want to work on the lab report. She said she has lots of friends that are guys, and in some ways she acts like a guy, and so when she was like "hey I'm working on the lab report, come over" there was really nothing more to it than that. Furthermore, she said she flat-out doesn't hook up with guys, so there's no way she'd make out with me if I wasn't dating her. Interestingly, when I ran that by GA, he said "she's lying, if not to you then to herself."

- She said that to her, dating is a really casual thing, and she thinks going on a date can just be having a really good time and enjoying somebody's company without things having to get romantic. She said we had this conversation on Wednesday night when I was drunk; I have no recollection of it (although I remember most everything else).

- She asid she was trying not to lead me on, and even asked what she could have done differently to keep me from getting the wrong idea; I really didn't have a good answer. I mean, she can't just be like "look goofy, you're a cool guy and I like you, but not in that way" in the middle of our date because then she comes off as conceited...I dunno, do you guys have a good answer for this?

But yeah, I ended up sticking around until about 12:30am (for our 7am final), during which time we got absolutely no studying done. We just wound up talking about a lot of stuff, getting to know each other better...we had a lot of really good conversation and I feel like we're a lot closer now having been able to get all this out in the open and move past it. I feel like there's a really solid trust between us now and if I can get over my feelings for her (which was made a lot harder when she showed me pictures of herself topless [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] with the good parts covered though, but damn she is so hot) then we could be really close friends, which I guess isn't all bad.

Brag: I think I did pretty well on the final this morning, on just 2.5 hrs of sleep. Also, we made a bet in class last week; our teacher was going over something from Nature magazine, and she was like "shh I need to write this down it's gonna be on the final" and I was like "lol no it isn't" and she's like "yes it is" and I was like "wanna bet?" so we bet a sushi dinner on it. Obviously I won, because I am all-knowing; that [censored] was nowhere near the final. Owned.

Oh, and after reading the 4th paragraph she said one of the things she had noticed about me early on is that I have nice lips. I think this means I was supposed to make out with her a long time ago. Oops.

[BEP]

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kissed

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kissing you

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if we kissed

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of kissing me

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avoiding this kiss

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talent at kissing

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passionate kisses

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kissing repeatedly

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softly place my lips

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Goofy. I vomited in my mouth a little bit when I read your letter. Remember that you were standing on a pier by the ocean and this girl turned away from you and said "Don't kiss me."

A girl that likes you will never ever do this.

It's so cliche to quote that whole "40 Year Old Virgin" spiel about putting the "pussy on the pedestool," but that's essentially what you do every time you are attracted to a girl.

You're a nice and sentimental guy. You meet a girl and you like her. When you wake up in the morning, you lay in bed and think about her for a few minutes. When you're taking a [censored] you think about what to say to her the next time you see her. Before you fall asleep at night you imagine an entire relationship with her... you imagine falling in love with her.

But you don't know this girl. In your mind you've created this idea that she's the perfect girl and you haven't even dated her... you haven't met her crack-head father, you haven't heard that scary moo-ing sound she makes when you bang her, and you haven't smelled the bathroom after she's taken a dump in it.

Stop doing this Goofy. Sometimes it sucks, but you have to play the games before you can get close to these girls. You have to play the indifference card, you have to perfect the push-pull call/text/email/ignore game. Make these girls want you before you've even decided whether or not you like them.

Ehh... I could go on for days. And regardless, the best advice in this thread so far has been to just get drunk and start making out with girls.

[EricW]

DAMMIT MAN I WAS ONLY JOKING ABOUT SHOWING UP AT HER PLACE UNANNOUNCED AND GIVING HER A BUNCH OF ROSES AND CHOCOLATES; IN FACT, WHAT YOU DID HERE WAS WAY WORSE!111!!111

Man, come on please stop torturing yourself. And wtf? She showed you pics of her topless while she knows you're pretty much in love with her and also knowing that she'll never fool around with you? This bitch is evil and she's just using you for her self confidence at this point. PLEASE ABORT ABORT ABORT!11

[Dan87]

did you stare at her intently while she read that novel you gave her?

[Lurker.]

you care too much dude. girls are stupid, ditch her.

[Lurker.]

oh, and post those pics LDO

[boomshakalaka]

holy [censored], this is all a big level right? I mean, really, this cant be real can it? I couldnt even finish reading the letter because it made me feel awkward and uncomfortable...