Stupidest girlfriend/fiance/wife arguments?

[Ali shmali]

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My fiance has to leave for work about half an hour before I do, so I like to snooze while she is in the shower etc, and then get up as she leaves the house. So she comes in straight after her shower, and is looking for the car keys because she needs to get something out of the car. I tell her they are either in my work bag next to the bed, or upstairs (we live in a house with three others). She skims through my bag, doesn't find them, and the tells me to go upstairs and get them for her because she doesn't want to walk around the house in a towel (no pics, so dont bother asking). I tell her to put on a dressing gown and get them herself, and roll over to enjoy the last 15 mins of snoozing before the real day starts.

Somehow, this sparks her off, and she lets rip with a rant so filled with rage and anger that I am just left speechless. Seriously, this is how I would expect her to react if she found out that I had killed her mother, skinned her, and then used the skin to commit some sort of heinous crime that her mother was now getting blamed for. During her diatribe she accuses me, amongst other things, of being the laziest, most selfish, cheapest, nastiest, inconsiderate, immature, dishonest and messiest person in the world. Basically, she called me everything under the sun other than a war criminal, which I'm sure she would have gotten to if she hadn't have knocked over my work bag causing the car keys to spill out. Before I even get a chance to laugh, she bursts into tears and goes storming out of the room and locks herself in the bathroom.

Anyways, 5 minutes later she comes out and apologises and blames her "edginess" on something at work, or her family, I dont know I wasn't really listening anyway.

Now this is maybe the second or third time she has done a "2+2 wannabe's girlfriend" on me (whatever happended to the end of that trip report?), so its not a big deal. I'm just wondering if any OOTiots out there have similar stories to this one where their significant other WAY WAY WAY overreacts, and embarasses everyone withing a 200m radius in the process...

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maybe she's pregnant

[Your Mom]

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my wife and i have never argued.

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Or else you will crush her? Hi-five.

[neuroman]

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This one is lame compared to the horror stories you guys but its all I got.

Its my 21st birthday. I have planned for months to go out with my friends in a town called Baldwin outside KC. She has also agreed in advance to be my DD and take me back to KC as we can't stay at my buddies place because his parents are mutso type christians and wont allow a bunch of drunk people to crash there.

I had talked about going to Baldwin all day. Not a peep out of her.

30 minutes before its time to leave:

Her:I don't want to go.
Me:WTF!!!!111(literally)
Her: I just don't feel like it.
Me: Ok, well you can stay here.
Her: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE!
Me: I dunno you can hang out with my mom or something. She has been wanting to get to know you better.
Her: (cryiing now) I don't want to talk to your mom!
Me: I really don't care what you do but this is my 21st birthday and I'm getting [censored] up so you can come with me or stay here, and those are your options.
Her: Fine, I'm going with you.

Amazingly she has gone from tears streaming down her face to completely fine now.

So we go out to the bars, and some f'ing how, unbeknowst to me, even though she is not 21, she ends up getting drunk. I guess nobody carded her at the bar. So it becomes time to go home and my buddies and I say our goodbyes and part ways. I hand my girlfriend the keys and give her the directions, which aren't hard. "Go down this road to I-###, take a right there and it will take you to KC."

I'm majorly jacked up at this point so I pass out in the passenger seat. An unknown time later I come to for a second, look out the windshield, and see rows of wheat flying all around the car. It took me a few seconds to realize what was going on before I screamed, "Betsy, get back on the [censored] road!" She had gotten lost, freaked out, ran off the road, and was now plowing through a wheat field. She eventually get the car back on the road.

I start screaming at her to get her [censored] together. She yells back that this is all my fault blah, blah, blah. We are clearly lost amd by now she is completely useless and bawling. I realize I have to be the level headed one on my 21st and I see houses about 100 yards ahead.

I get out of the car and, walk up to a random guys house at apx. 3:00 in the morning, and ring the doorbell. I was half expecting some hillbilly to bust out the door and point a shotgun in my face. Actually the guy was really cool, told me he had definitely been in my situation before, and gave me directions back to KC.

We ended up getting back ok. She flipped out on me in the morning, I, who did not give a [censored] at this point calmly explained to her the many ways in which she had wronged me.

Her response, which is a classic line between me and my buds now that I have broken up with her: "Why do you have to be so logical all the time?"

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Farfenugen, that is not lame compared to the other ones in here, that is the best. ROFL @ the wheat field.

[efficacy]

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Actually, that didn't turn out too bad for me...

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This whole thread is gold, but this is the first line that made me LOL.

[SoHotRightNow]

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maybe she's pregnant

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I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. No, make that a lot. Not that I dont wanna have kids, just not now- we're going to Europe next year for 4 months and have paid for flights and Rugby World Cup tickets (yesssssssss), so it would suck for her to miss out on that...

[Fast Food Knight]

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I think if we could be put into a woman's shoes we'd be shocked at how much hormones control their emotions (and therefore the rest of their lives). The same way that most women would be shocked to find out the full role that sex plays on the male mind.

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QFT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NajdorfDefense]

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Where do I begin with my most recent ex?

1. Got real drunk one night, went back to my dorm, passed out cause I could barely walk. Obviously didn't wake up to her calling my cell phone. Didn't hear the end of it for a couple days until I admitted what I did was wrong, and I was sorry. Even though I'm still not sure what I did wrong. If I'm passed out drunk, I'm passed out drunk. What do you want me to do about it?

2. Got drunk again, and passed out. She calls again. This time my roommates there and wakes me up. I answer, tell her what's up and that I just want to pass out cause I'm plastered and feel like [censored]. Well she'd rather talk so I again don't hear the end of it.

3. Went to a going away party one night for my best friend who was leaving for school out of state the next day. She got mad cause I did that instead of watching a movie with her. It was especially retarded cause I had just taken her out to a nice dinner and a musical the night before (Ya, a [censored] musical).

4. Got mad cause I didn't want to drive 45 minutes to her work so I could just sit there and hang out with her while she wasn't busy.

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That empty sack hanging below your [censored], the scrotum, is supposed to contain your balls. Demand them back from your girlfriend immediately, then tell her to grow up.

[_brady_]

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That empty sack hanging below your [censored], the scrotum, is supposed to contain your balls. Demand them back from your girlfriend immediately, then tell her to grow up.

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Lol, true dat. She is an ex now though, and I got them back. However, I will admit while we were together my balls were pretty deep in her purse.

[ElDuque]

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My then-fiancee now-wife and I were doing errands for our wedding, which definitely added to the general stress level. As we were in very busy Chicago-traffic, instead of cutting off several lanes of traffic to make a left (I hate when people do this) I decide to take a slightly longer way by taking an available right and plan on spinning around the block to head in the right direction.

She immediately gets and starts screaming at me for this (she said take a left here, and I told her I'm going to do this the easier way) citing I'm being inefficient and a time-waster.

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I'm gonna have to side with the GF on this one. Make the left you freakin p ussy.

[MaxWeiss]

Just tell the fat pig that you know your mom didn't mean anything at all and was just commenting on the baby (as you previously did). Then tell her you love her and that you really want to be able to enjoy the holidays with your family. Insist she tell your mom how she was hurt by your mom's comments (and then undoubtedly the mom will apologize for the misunderstanding and stuff should be fine). If she refuses, ask your mom, as a personal favor to contact the fat pig and clear things up. Then you can have family holiday time (which is very important to me, as my mom makes the best holiday food on the planet). If the fat pig screws up this fool proof plan to make everything right, calmly tell her you love her but you feel she is being unreasonable and that you are going to have a wonderful time with your family and she is welcome to join, or not.

I know the incident is over, but I felt like I oughtta post my solution anyway. Never tolerate the Crazy. Don't have to be a dick, but don't tolerate it. For your information, her is an inside scoop on the inner-working of the female mind...

Your mind: WTF?? There's no reason for this. I don't understand why you feel this way.

Her mind: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!LKJSAFOIJE F*JP*(#(#*@U ROIEWFOIEH*(## #JOIJ:OIJSADOIFJOIDSFJ
ME ME ME ME
EMOTION EMOTION EMOTION SL:KJFSOIDFJEW(*FJ U(#*
GARBLEDESPHllLL asadf344tdf@@@@@!!!!!!!EOIJSOID