the most inappropriate thing you've ever said/heard

[blinden84]

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I was working at some lame telemarketing job when I was younger trying to hustle charity donations and some lady was arguing saying it was to much money blah blah, so I said look were not asking for an arm or a leg here lady just x$. I glance over and realize the new guy that just started who sitting beside me was missing an arm....

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I swear, these are triggered subconsciously.

Why else would I say, "That's mighty white of you," in front of a black guy, when I had never before said it, or even thought about saying it? Why else ask an amputee cardplayer if he wants a hand?

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Okay, so, the second time you mention this, why do you think this is inapproprate or offensive? "Mighty white of you"? I just don't see the bad in it I guess, what am I missing?

[JJNJustin]

One time I was playing at a B&M casino in Detroit and there were five black guys at the table and four white guys. The dealer ran out of dollar chips and yelled to the supervisor, "We need more whites on seven. Err, uh, I mean we need more white chips on seven." It was funny.

-J

[niss]

Dating a girl for about a month, go to her house to see her parents (2nd time I've been with them).

Dad says something like he's not ready to be a grandfather. I respond with "Don't worry. I only put it in her ass."

(Our 10th anniversary is next June.)

[RiverFenix]

Niss I dont believe that for a second.

[EricW]

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Dating a girl for about a month, go to her house to see her parents (2nd time I've been with them).

Dad says something like he's not ready to be a grandfather. I respond with "Don't worry. I only put it in her ass."

(Our 10th anniversary is next June.)

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Shenanigans!

[youtalkfunny]

[ QUOTE ]
One time I was playing at a B&M casino in Detroit and there were five black guys at the table and four white guys. The dealer ran out of dollar chips and yelled to the supervisor, "We need more whites on seven. Err, uh, I mean we need more white chips on seven." It was funny.

-J

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That's nothing. Come to Mississippi some time, play in a poker tournament, and try to keep a straight face when the TD announces, "Dealers, hold up after this hand, we're going to buy all the blacks."

[BukNaked36]

I was an engineer at a Japanese run company in Virginia. Had about 10 Japanese coworkers & boss.

We go out for sushi and saki and start talking about traveling in the US. Somebody mentions something about driving cross country and for some reason mentions Nebraska.

I pipe up with "Christ it looks like somebody dropped THE BOMB on that state".

<japanese crickets>

[meccaNES]

So there's this joke...which i think is hilarious because i'm demented like that.

What's the differnce between a dead baby and a rock? You can't [censored] a rock!!

Yeah yeah i know i know.

But it creates uncomforitable situatiosn and usually unwanted guests just leave me and others alone when told this joke in most social situations.

Friend and i are sitting in the mall eating some chik-fil-a.

Four uggos sit at a table across from us. They just walked out of "whores r us" and are trying to look attractive etc.

Unsuccessfully.

I encourage my friend to finish his nuggets faster because we need to leave...two uggos get up and sit at our table.

they say hi...blah blah...one admits to being a whore (wtf? oh wait this is texas...98% of the women you meet in texas are whores...oh well). She looks ok and i'm thinking "[censored] it?". The other is annoying and i decide to tell the joke.

me - "What's the differnce between a dead baby and a rock?"

before i can get to the punchline

whore - "I never pushed a rock out of my vagina?"

me - TOUCHE!!!!

and i get up and leave...

[Low Limit Loser]

1 have 2.

I was a groomsman at a friend wedding. This was his second marriage. I am at the main table and the speeches start. The bestman makes his speech, the maid of honor has a few words, the brides father says something and then the rest of the table asks me to say a few words. I have nothing prepared so i stand up and say something generic about wishing them love, long life and many children. I had forgot that he had a vasectemy during his first marriage. You could tell immediately who knew in the audience.


number 2

I was in first grade and sitting at a table with 3 other kids.

Kid one - girl I had a fierce crush on
Kid two - girlfriend of kid one
Kid three - Freddy A. GOD, I hated this kid. He was vile from an early age. My mother would chaperone on field trips and would get assigned just one kid - Freddy A. - He would say stuff about her that ..... well, I got in fights with him infront of my mother.

anyway, he was reaching across the desk trying to touch girl two's chest (yes, this is 1st grade). Girl one is getting upset. Being a decent gentleman, I told him to stop. He didn't. I took my fat pencil and the next time he reached across the table, i tried to stick his hand to the desk. It went through the fleshy part between his thumb and pointer finger. The tip (of fatty pencil) broke off on the desk. He is jumping around screaming like a Howler Monkey. My teacher freaks out and screams (in front of Freddy A.). "If he dies of lead poisoning, you're going to jail!" Freddy A. now goes ballistic. "I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die!". Good times.

LLL

[hoyasnaxa]

A friend of a friend came into the city where I go to school to go out for Halloween. He was dressed like Adolf Hitler; swastikas, mustache, the whole get up. Everywhere we went, people literally cheered for him, saying things like, "Yea, kill those [censored] jews." It was disturbing, and he eventually got punched in the face a bunch of times by a girl at a bar. The kid was also Jewish which was his reason why he could do it.