On not contacting Girls...

[traz]

I would not ask her anything about her sister [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Dumping her right away is taking it a bit too far, but you have to let it be known how you feel, and if nothing changes/she doesn't seem to care/puts up a fight, then its time to move on.

[irvman21]

The more I read about this, the more it sounds exactly like my ex-girlfriend. For months she made me feel like an ass because I was uncomfortable with her "innocent" relationship with a married professional baseball player.

I was trying to convince myself I was just being jealous, that I was just perceiving disrespect that wasn’t really there, right up until she confessed she had been banging him.

I wish OOT had been around then, it could have saved me a lot of time I wasted on her.

[wet work]

This guy has zero respect for you, or her for that matter, if they really were such good friends he would show some respect for her and her SO (ie. not be trying to bang her.) Buying her panties, etc. pretty much proves this. I'm assuming he knew about you before this if they are such good friends--if he didn't there's a problem too.

Personally I'd have a much easier time dealing with my gf remaining friendly with someone she dated for any significant amount of time as opposed to some random dude she banged off the internet. This whole situation sounds pretty shady and you need to straighten this girl out on the facts of life if you have any intentions of staying with her. There's no way he wants to just be her friend, she's just a piece of ass to this guy and if she can't see that she's blind or playing you.

[buriedbeds]

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Don't listen to any of these guys. Most of them are being sarcastic or trying to rouse trouble. I [censored] up my first relationship because of my insecurity and bothering her about it.

Keep yourself busy doing something. Don't think about it. Look, if she wanted to [censored] him, there's nothing you can do to stop her. She is being open and honest with you. So he bought her sexy underwear? Yeah, he probably is trying to get into her pants. Send him a thank you note. Say you enjoyed seeing her in it, right before you took it off and ravaged her.

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Why are so many people in here seemingly so afraid to act like a man and take control of a situation?? If a woman bought me underwear:

1) I wouldn't take them if I truly love/like/respect my gf.
2) I would *expect* my gf to be pissed at the girl who gave them to me.
3) If my gf *wasn't* pissed, I'd respect her less.

When did so many men get to be so spineless?? Put the law down, or, better yet, leave. Unless you're so convinced that no one else will ever have you, in which case good luck with life because you're screwed not just with women but with every other aspect of your life. Have a little confidence. Jesus, there are billions of women out there, at least *some* of whom will sleep with you. And even if they don't, at least you'll keep your dignity and self-confidence. Lord.

-bb.

[buriedbeds]

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brit,

"After Dinner he goes back to hotel, she goes with other gets home, calls the guy on the phone and talk sto him about it all."

So, just to clarify, she gets home after a night of dinner and drinking and first thing she does is call the guy who earlier in the evening told her he wanted to bang her?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah. She says she needed to talk to him to explain nothing was going to happen. Problem is she's so adamant she's dont nothing wrong and she loves me. Other problem i'm finding the whole thing a little hard to swallow. especially him propositioning her before dinner, her saying no and then going out for a nice [censored] dinner.

Thing is, i mostly believe she has done nothing wrong and I'm feeling a dick for getting so mad about it. i mean, lots of guys make passes at girls, if they say no, who cares? I want to kill this sleaze though, and I'm worried I might be wrong about her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Holy Christ, this is PATHETIC. Please, PLEASE learn from this and MOVE ON. You've got to learn that virtually every woman in the world is faced with men hitting on them all the time. Your goal, imo, is to find one that treats you decently and *doesn't* succumb to the advances of others.

He's a scumbag, I wouldn't do what he does, but a man trying to sleep with a woman with a bf is NOT rare. This means that he's not your problem, SHE is. You blame HER. He's essentially irrelevant and something she deals with all the time. You should NOT act like a loser and take it. It's hard, but that's what life is. You'll be a better person on the other side.

MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON. Jesus Christ. You sound like SUCH a wimp. I'm sure you're an incredibly nice guy, too, which is the shame of it. Basically you sound like every man in the world before they learn better. Toughen up and move on. Your life will be better for it.

-bb.

[buriedbeds]

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who cares if she's being "honest" with you? Her behaviour is not acceptable. Either she's trying to get a rise out of you (not cool) or she likes the attention from another guy who wants to bone her (also not cool).

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While I don't have a problem with liking the attention (everyone has an ego), accepting any gifts such as described, or going out with the scumbag, is definately out of line.

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She should've returned the underwear immediately with a polite "thanks, but I can't accept this from you." Period.

And then to go out with him and a group of others?? Without you??

I'd make it very clear that this is not cool with you, without resorting to threats or ultimatums. Just that it does not make you happy.

[/ QUOTE ]

As expected, Dom is totally on the mark here. Maybe the OP should have her sister-ex give him a sexy little gift and then be "honest" with the woman in question.

This just sounds wrong on several levels. This can't be the whole story here, given the history involved. Whether she can be trusted or not may or may not be the question, but having the cheating scum hanging around can not be tolerated.

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Easy, shouldn't your advice be to "keep your ho in check"?

Big fan, btw. Sorry to hear about the AIDS death.

-bb.

[britspin]

[ QUOTE ]


Holy Christ, this is PATHETIC. Please, PLEASE learn from this and MOVE ON. You've got to learn that virtually every woman in the world is faced with men hitting on them all the time. Your goal, imo, is to find one that treats you decently and *doesn't* succumb to the advances of others.

He's a scumbag, I wouldn't do what he does, but a man trying to sleep with a woman with a bf is NOT rare. This means that he's not your problem, SHE is. You blame HER. He's essentially irrelevant and something she deals with all the time. You should NOT act like a loser and take it. It's hard, but that's what life is. You'll be a better person on the other side.

MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON. Jesus Christ. You sound like SUCH a wimp. I'm sure you're an incredibly nice guy, too, which is the shame of it. Basically you sound like every man in the world before they learn better. Toughen up and move on. Your life will be better for it.

-bb.

[/ QUOTE ]

You know BB, I think you're talking crap. You don't know this woman yet you assume the worst. I don't like what's happened here and I want to talk to her about it, but to me, it sounds like you have problems with women.

Look there are two options here. One: A friend made a move on her, she declined, but maybe in a slightly inappropriate way tried to be nice about it and not tell him to [censored] off. If thats the case we need to talk about what happened and how it's not going to happen again.

Second option is something did happen, or she doesn't do anything to make it not happen again or i just don't believe her.

If that's the case, I'll do what I need to do, but I'm not go to throw away the chance to listen to what the woman I love has to say about a guy hitting on her because some guy on an internet message board calls me a wimp.

[buriedbeds]

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Holy Christ, this is PATHETIC. Please, PLEASE learn from this and MOVE ON. You've got to learn that virtually every woman in the world is faced with men hitting on them all the time. Your goal, imo, is to find one that treats you decently and *doesn't* succumb to the advances of others.

He's a scumbag, I wouldn't do what he does, but a man trying to sleep with a woman with a bf is NOT rare. This means that he's not your problem, SHE is. You blame HER. He's essentially irrelevant and something she deals with all the time. You should NOT act like a loser and take it. It's hard, but that's what life is. You'll be a better person on the other side.

MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE ON. Jesus Christ. You sound like SUCH a wimp. I'm sure you're an incredibly nice guy, too, which is the shame of it. Basically you sound like every man in the world before they learn better. Toughen up and move on. Your life will be better for it.

-bb.

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You know BB, I think you're talking crap. You don't know this woman yet you assume the worst. I don't like what's happened here and I want to talk to her about it, but to me, it sounds like you have problems with women.

Look there are two options here. One: A friend made a move on her, she declined, but maybe in a slightly inappropriate way tried to be nice about it and not tell him to [censored] off. If thats the case we need to talk about what happened and how it's not going to happen again.

Second option is something did happen, or she doesn't do anything to make it not happen again or i just don't believe her.

If that's the case, I'll do what I need to do, but I'm not go to throw away the chance to listen to what the woman I love has to say about a guy hitting on her because some guy on an internet message board calls me a wimp.

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I'm not talking crap. I think the fact that pretty much every single post on here has said the same thing should point that out to you.

Also, I honestly am *not* trying to put you down. I'm trying to tell you the same thing that I wish someone had told me back in the day. I wish you good luck.

I dont' have a problem with women. I have a problem with women who don't respect men. Just as I have a problem with men who don't respect women (like the one propositioning your girl).

Like I said, you seem like a nice guy. You'll be a better person for the experience if you move on. You'll find someone to love who doesn't straight walk all over you. You need someone to support you, not someone to pull you down, make you question your relationship and make you question yourself (which is what you're doing when you're worrying about her when she's out - a confident man doesn't fear a cheating woman).

And one last point: it does *NOT* matter whether she actually slept with him or not. Do you see why?

Please, for your own sake, move on.

Again, good luck.

-bb.

[gusmahler]

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Why are so many people in here seemingly so afraid to act like a man and take control of a situation??


[/ QUOTE ]

Uh, about 90% of the replies is telling OP to dump the bitch.

[buriedbeds]

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Why are so many people in here seemingly so afraid to act like a man and take control of a situation??


[/ QUOTE ]

Uh, about 90% of the replies is telling OP to dump the bitch.

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True...I grunched that post... [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] My fault.

-bb.