Funny girlfriend quotes

[davelin]

My wife of two years and I were lying in bed randomly talking about potential girls names when the time comes for us to have kids. I threw out there "how about Lillian or Lilly for short?" She responded "Lillian? Lillian Lee?"

Our last name is Lin.

[DrewDevil]

Watching Saving Private Ryan, which is a very emotional experience for me...

So we get to the end, and Tom Hanks says, "Earn this," and I'm pretty much crying my eyes out, and my wife says:

"Who's Earnest?"

Gotta love her.

[rwanger]

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I was watching football with my ex.

Her: What does that yellow line mean?
Me: Thats where the first down is located.
Her: So how do they keep moving it on the field?

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I know this is the wrong place to mention it because I never dated John Madden, but he did once try to convice the listeners at home that the players can see the yellow line. He was immediately corrected, but he kept fighting for his cause, playing it off like he meant it figuratively...

[atrifix]

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I know this is the wrong place to mention it because I never dated John Madden, but he did once try to convice the listeners at home that the players can see the yellow line. He was immediately corrected, but he kept fighting for his cause, playing it off like he meant it figuratively...

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I'd like some confirmation/context of this. Madden has spent a pretty fair amount of time on a football field.

[J.Brown]

watching sportscenter........barry bonds hits a homerun...

mrs. isn't it great that he is so good at baseball and he can't even hear?

me. huh? wtf?

mrs. he does all of those sign things when he hits one for his deaf fans?

me. are you talking about sammy sosa, who played for the cubs?

mrs. oh yeah, maybe it is him, he is the deaf one. that is so neat that he can overcome his handicap.

me. he is not deaf, that is just what he does (the signing gesture, pointing to the sky, kisses, etc.)

mrs. and me. arguement insues, she while obviously knowing nothing about sports guarantees me he is deaf.

me. i laugh for like a week and let he down easy when i proved her wrong.

J.

[Nicholasp27]

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Ex Girlfriend...

Me: We're going to Vegas this weekend...what are you gonna do while I play poker?
Her: Roulette, I read that board b/c it helps me
Me: Really? If the ball lands on black 99 times in a row, what are the chances its gonna land on black the 100th time?
Her: 99%?

[/ QUOTE ]

she's right

it's most likely a rigged wheel

it can't be 100% since there is a chance that it happens, but most likely it's rigged and so 99% is a good answer since u don't wanna say 100% due to slight chance of 1/2^99

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She's wrong. You're wrong. It's not most likely rigged.

This is a rare occurance. However, it happens in honest casinos all the time, just like every other unlikely event. Very few casinos Vegas are actually rigged.

Of all the times this happens in a casino, the vast majority of the time it's a fluke. Thanks to the Nevada state gaming commission, the piles of money casinos in Vegas can make without rigging their games, and the amount they stand to lose if they are caught rigging their games, there is almost certainly less than 1% chance that it's rigged and that is what is causing the event.

By your logic, if someone gets a royal flush, they are almost certainly cheating.

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odds of royal flush are >>>>>>>>>odds of 1/2^98 (not even counting 0/00 in that figure)

like i said, it WILL occur, but it's more likely that the wheel is offbalance or 'unfair' in some other way, rigged or not

therefore, u have to account for that in the probability

that's why 99% is a fine answer and definitely not 'funny'

the odds of a 'unfair' wheel are much higher than 1/2^98 and so it weights the odds up enough to be >99% odds that it'll be black next

[Nicholasp27]

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By your logic, if someone gets a royal flush, they are almost certainly cheating.

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horrible, horrible inference

[arsenal905]

One time a girlfriend I had looked at me at a party, and with a straight face said " Do I have to go to the bathroom? ". I just looked at her for a second and said " only you can know that answer ".

[11t]

Yes, I have heard Madden say plenty of times about how players SHOULD know where the first down marker so this seems like an obvious misunderstanding.

[phil_ivey_fan]

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which pornstar?

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I knew that would be coming



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THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!

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holla!