favorite Seinfeld line

[vistaplayer]

'Not that there's anything wrong with that.'

[deadmoney98]

When Kramer is in his shower trying to install a garbage disposal and he calls Puddy for help.

Puddy tells him to use the auxillary line and Kramer says the manual says main line.

Puddy: "That's a misprint."

Also, J. Peterman "The very pants I was about to return."

I have a dry sense of humor.

[ChromePony]

oh you gotta mulch...you've got to

[Triumph36]

[ QUOTE ]
When Kramer is in his shower trying to install a garbage disposal and he calls Puddy for help.

Puddy tells him to use the auxillary line and Kramer says the manual says main line.

Puddy: "That's a misprint."

I have a dry sense of humor.

[/ QUOTE ]

'What've you got there, a Clarkman?'

It's jokes like this one and the one I referenced that make Seinfeld such a great show.

[Stat Boy]

[ QUOTE ]



Jerry: I tell you, this speed dial is like a relationship barometer!
George: What is a barometer anyway?
Kramer: It's pronounced thermometer.


At vet with Smuckers
Kramer: It especially hurts when he drinks orange juice. I mean.. dog food... juice.

[/ QUOTE ]

These are both very good.

[edtost]

Mr. Steinbrenner: (the back of his head to the camera) John Tyler? George Steinbreener here. I want to talk about George Castanza. I understand he's been dividing his time between us and you. I cannot have that.

John Tyler: (the back of his head also to the camera) Well I don't know who he is but if you want him that bad I'm not giving him up that easily.

Mr. Steinbrenner: Oh is that so. Playing a little hardball huh Jonnyboy?

John Tyler: How about this. You give me Castanza, I convert your concessions to all chicken no charge. Instead of hot dogs, chicken dogs. Instead of pretzels, chicken twists. Instead of beer, alcoholic chicken.

Mr. Steinbrenner: How do you make that alcoholic chicken?

John Tyler: Let if ferment, just like everything else.

Mr. Steinbrenner: That stuff sounds great. All right. I'll have Costanza on the next bus.

[protocol]

[ QUOTE ]
(George pulls out of the inside pocket a golf ball)

(Jerry and George just stare at Kramer)

Kramer: What is that a Titleist? A hole in one eh.

[/ QUOTE ]


This has got to be my favorite. The whole scene is awesome though. I think it's the best ending of any Seinfeld episode.

[Army Eye]

(Jerry's girlfriend buys him an awful hat and puts it on him)
Jerry: Grreeeaaaat. Hey, why don't you put this in the car so I don't toss it in that dumpster over there?


Guy who plays Kramer on the pilot: Let me give you a word of advice. OK? I want you to stay away from me. I don't wanna talk to you, and I don't wanna hear anymore of your stupid little notes and suggestions. I don't like you. So if you got any other problems whether it's raisins, prunes, figs, or any other dried fruit, just keep it to yourself and stay out of my way, OK?"

[Army Eye]

I was standing in for Punky Brewster when all youse was NOTHIN'!!!

[El Ishmael]

George: "Name one thing that places me in a position of advantage. There was a guy at the Yankees - no arms! He got more work done than I did, made more money... had a house, a wife, kids, drove a better car-"

Jerry: "He drove a car with no arms?"

George: "Alright, I made up the part about the car, but the rest is true! And he HATED ME ANYWAY!"