Approaching an Alcoholic

[___]

I know that I could probably just google it up and get similar information, but I want to hear different perspectives in the same thread. There's a level of quality I appreciate here too.

My friend is an alcoholic. I don't know when it started exactly. We've known each other for 3-4 years, and we met through our party lifestyle. But back then drinking was more of a weekend thing, or when there was a great clubnight to go to. Now it's every night for him.

When we chat he tells me what he's been up to, and every story includes how much he drank that night. It's always, "I went to ____ bar and drank ____ [which is always enough to knock me out]." Repeat times 7 for every night of the week, though sometimes he drinks at a house instead of a bar. It's starting to be sad, because he doesn't seem to have any close friends anymore, just clubbers he drinks his pints with. He still does fine at work (he seems to get a raises or promoted 2-3 times a year), but he's been "joking" about drinking at work lately too. So while he's functional, I worry about his health and long term ability to maintain this lifestyle.

How can I approach him about it? Are his constant mentions of how much he drinks a veiled cry for help? Can and should I do anything? Do you have any other advice that I should have asked for but didn't?

Thanks.

[BUD]

Do you or does he know anyone that you respect that is a member of AA? This a difficult thing, many people die before they will accept any help. It would be ideal to leave it to experienced members of AA.
Sincerely
Bud

[Frosthawk]

My father killed himself drunk driving at the age of 26. My second father was an alcoholic who would get drunk and beat the u know what out of my mother and brother and me. It took 2 years but my mother finally got away from him. We had to leave the state we were living in.
My girlfriend (whom I have been living with for 14 years now) was an alcoholic for 20 years, 5 of which were spent with me. She was what people call a functioning alcoholic, a hard worker and had learned to hide it extremely well. It took me 2 years to fully realize just how bad she was. That is how good she was at hiding it. But then again maybe i didnt want to know. Anyway, it took me another three years to get her into rehab and the only way I managed that was by telling her that I just couldnt handle it anymore. Without going into detail it took me over 6 hours of talking to her that night to finally get her to go. She spent 30 days in rehab.
Within her first week of getting out she started drinking again trying to hide it from me. I was taking her to work when I realized it (yes, she was hitting the vodka in the morning). Instead of taking her to work I dropped her off at her sisters and told her I was out of here unless she went back to rehab. It was at that point that she realized I was serious. She later told me that her real intentions the whole time were to keep drinking and just hide it from me.
Later that day she called and said she would go back to rehab. Another 30 days but she hasnt touched a drop since and that was 9 years ago.

The reason I mention all this is just to show how really difficult it is to get someone to quit and also to show some of the consequences of not quitting. I can't tell u how to help your friend other than what has been said here already. He won't quit till he hits a hard spot, one that will have possibly tragic consequences. Do not show support for his drinking or help him make excuses but u also can't really ride him about it either. One thing u can do is to never drink when u are around him just to show that it is possible to enjoy yourself without it. Also u can throw in the ocasional quick one liner of "Man, that stuff is going to kill you" but dont dwell on it. If he thinks u are judging him he will just start avoiding u and then u accomplish nothing
There is also a group afiliated with AA that is for partners and children of alcoholics. U might want to talk to someone who belongs to that. They would probably be able to give u the best advice on how to deal with your friend.
Michael

[theweatherman]

He doesnt sound like an alchoholic to me. I've met a few and the best way to describe them is spun. A faraway look in thier eyes, a beer in their hands. Binge drinking 7 days a week is not the same as being an alcoholic, albeit on the track to becoming one. If it isnt affecting his life/job it doesnt seem likethatbig a deal.

[SmileyEH]

[ QUOTE ]
He doesnt sound like an alchoholic to me. I've met a few and the best way to describe them is spun. A faraway look in thier eyes, a beer in their hands. Binge drinking 7 days a week is not the same as being an alcoholic, albeit on the track to becoming one. If it isnt affecting his life/job it doesnt seem likethatbig a deal.

[/ QUOTE ]

R U serious?

-SmileyEH

[Riverman]

I know a good number of people who blackout multiple times per week who are very responsible / successful. Some people can handle it, others can't. In this case it seems like the person in question could stand to tone it down, but I don't get the impression he is f'ing up his life.

[galahad_187]

i get a buzz/drunk almost everynight either alone playing CS (highly recommended, btw) or with friends playing poker/halo but i hardly consider myself an alcoholic, and neither do the people around me, although almost all of them would say i drink too much.

I told them if my drinking ever gets in the way of any normal responsibility then i am becoming an alcoholic and to stop me.

Thus, if drinking ever gets in the way of your friend's working - then i'd stop him.

[wall_st]

[ QUOTE ]
i get a buzz/drunk almost everynight either alone playing CS (highly recommended, btw) or with friends playing poker/halo but i hardly consider myself an alcoholic, and neither do the people around me, although almost all of them would say i drink too much.

I told them if my drinking ever gets in the way of any normal responsibility then i am becoming an alcoholic and to stop me.

Thus, if drinking ever gets in the way of your friend's working - then i'd stop him.

[/ QUOTE ]

You drink alone almost every night and don't think you are an alcoholic ? You are a functioning alcoholic in denial.

[wall_st]

[ QUOTE ]
I know a good number of people who blackout multiple times per week who are very responsible / successful. Some people can handle it, others can't. In this case it seems like the person in question could stand to tone it down, but I don't get the impression he is f'ing up his life.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea because binge drinking has no negative health consequences in the short or long term.

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]
I know a good number of people who blackout multiple times per week who are very responsible / successful. Some people can handle it, others can't. In this case it seems like the person in question could stand to tone it down, but I don't get the impression he is f'ing up his life.

[/ QUOTE ]

It consider it quite a feat to fit so many silly and contradictory thoughts into such a compact paragraph.