Disadvantages of dating a doctor or med student...

[ArturiusX]

Simple question: Does she love you as much as you love her?

[ItalianFX]

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Simple question: Does she love you as much as you love her?

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Well that was always a question. She always believed that she loved me more than I loved her. She always had her guard up thinking I would cheat on her, and I would never even think about it. If I would talk to a girl and she found out, it would turn into a fiasco. But she can go through her days talking to guys all the time, in fact, her neighbor in the med school dorms is a guy from Philly and I'm not supposed to care at all. It turned out to me just not telling her because I didn't want it to turn into a big ordeal where I would have to fight for her to trust me again. And then it comes down to how I never tell her anything and she thinks I'm being shady. It's like a never ended downward spiral.

Edit: My day consists of 1. sleeping until I have to get up in the morning, 2. going to class, 3. reading news on the internet 4. Reading a book, 5. hanging out in my room, 6. reading more news on the internet...etc. I don't go out, I don't party, I don't talk to anyone, yet....she still thinks I'm up to something.

On the outside she is incredibly beautiful. I fall in love with her more and more everytime I see her because I just think she is so beautiful. But her stressfulness really takes away something because she hardly ever lets loose and just lets things be. However, when she does let loose and is that best friend, she is awesome. She is so much fun to be around. I always tell her that I know that amazing girl is inside of her and she just needs to let it out, but she always has her guard up.

[keikiwai]

I think planning is the key to making it work. So you have to be open about the amount of time you're going to spend with each other, and whether there's any way you can help her with her time (like buying her a nice dinner or making her a nice dinner while she studies once every so often).

If you plan the time, and then make sure the time you spend together is quality, and not just her venting, then it could work if both of your are the independent types and don't mind the time away from each other.

One thing about doctors is that they are generally tough as nails, so if she decides she wants to make it work, I'm sure she can. But the decision has to be mutual, and it's gonna be relatively tough, and take some honest planning together imo.

[ItalianFX]

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I think planning is the key to making it work. So you have to be open about the amount of time you're going to spend with each other, and whether there's any way you can help her with her time (like buying her a nice dinner or making her a nice dinner while she studies once every so often).

If you plan the time, and then make sure the time you spend together is quality, and not just her venting, then it could work if both of your are the independent types and don't mind the time away from each other.

One thing about doctors is that they are generally tough as nails, so if she decides she wants to make it work, I'm sure she can. But the decision has to be mutual, and it's gonna be relatively tough, and take some honest planning together imo.

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She gets stressed when we plan on when we can see each other too. So we let things work themselves out, and then it's a problem because we never see each other. I'd go down on Monday after class, stay over, and drive back Tuesday morning because I don't start class until 12:30. When I would go there I'd always make her dinner while she studied. I'd sit in the living room while she studied in her room. But she wanted to be near me when I was there and she felt like she had to accompany me as a guest and she felt bad if she didn't, so she never got any quality studying in.

For me, I don't mind the time away. I know in my heart she is there, I hold that bond everywhere I go. She can't seem to do that. She wants to see me more, so I say I'll look into getting a job in that area so that we are closer, but her response is, "even if you're here, I still don't know if I'll be able to see you that much." She just likes to know that I'd be there when she wanted me to.

When I was in Kosovo I applied to her school to transfer. I was denied because they weren't taking anymore transfer students. She wanted me to try to transfer so that we'd be closer. After she broke up with me I asked her if she would have broken up with me if I transferred, and she said she would have. That sucked because she wanted me to transfer to be closer, yet if I would have, it would have been a mistake because I get 100% free tuition through the military where I go now.

So there are no plans with her. She openly admits that she didn't put me first.

[luckybacon]

i dunno one thing ive always been taught and think it holds truth, is if a girl is really jealous always thinks ur cheating etc, she might be cheating

[ItalianFX]

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i dunno one thing ive always been taught and think it holds truth, is if a girl is really jealous always thinks ur cheating etc, she might be cheating

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This girl isn't like that and I know she isn't. I trust her without a doubt. She's not some party player who is always looking for a flirt. She's very goal oriented, knows what she wants, and goes and gets it. The problem is, when she has to start dodging things and making decisions, she gets flustered and stressed.

[luckybacon]

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i dunno one thing ive always been taught and think it holds truth, is if a girl is really jealous always thinks ur cheating etc, she might be cheating

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This girl isn't like that and I know she isn't. I trust her without a doubt. She's not some party player who is always looking for a flirt. She's very goal oriented, knows what she wants, and goes and gets it. The problem is, when she has to start dodging things and making decisions, she gets flustered and stressed.

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Alright thats great then. I just kinda skimmed the thread and saw that. Just kind of the benchmark I use alot and its usually right. Of course there are completely instances where it doesnt hold true in your case. Sorry didnt mean to derail the thread. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[burningyen]

I am currently dating a 1st-year med student. Yes, it takes planning, work and patience, but it just doesn't sound like your girl is that into you.

[ItalianFX]

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I am currently dating a 1st-year med student. Yes, it takes planning, work and patience, but it just doesn't sound like your girl is that into you.

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I've talked to her everyday since we broke up. I think she wants to keep me around, but doesn't want the obligation to have to call me or worry about talking to me. I've always told her I don't mind if she doesn't call because I know what she is working towards. She agrees, but it's never good enough because she'll sit there and think about calling me and when she doesn't call she feels like I'll get upset. Which reminds me...she's also the type who tries to feel for other people, so even when I'm perfectly fine, she thinks I'm upset because she would be upset. I told her to stop thinking about how I feel and just let things go, but that is never good enough.

[keikiwai]

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She gets stressed when we plan on when we can see each other too. So we let things work themselves out

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idk, i think irieguy got it

if you can't get past this, it's not gonna work imo