Anti-depressants

[LWor]

Took paxil for 1 year and a half.

Even if I was suicidal at the time, if I could go back, I wouldn't use any anti-depressant.

If you can get over your depression without it, I suggest you do so.

[Jamougha]

There's plenty of clinical evidence showing that anti-depressants work, at least of a percentage of people. If one type doesn't work then another probably will. They have various side effects, including a change in personality. That's not necessarily a bad thing though. My mother takes SSRIs and they help her a lot.

There are a variety of nutritional supplements that have shown anti-depressant properties in preliminary trials. The two main ones are 5-HTP and Omega 3. Personally I take both and a vitamin pill each day, which seems to keep me stable.

Looks at wiki for tons of info.

[Coaching]

[ QUOTE ]
There's plenty of clinical evidence showing that anti-depressants work, at least of a percentage of people. If one type doesn't work then another probably will. They have various side effects, including a change in personality. That's not necessarily a bad thing though. My mother takes SSRIs and they help her a lot.

There are a variety of nutritional supplements that have shown anti-depressant properties in preliminary trials. The two main ones are 5-HTP and Omega 3. Personally I take both and a vitamin pill each day, which seems to keep me stable.

Looks at wiki for tons of info.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks very useful.

[Coaching]

[ QUOTE ]
Took paxil for 1 year and a half.

Even if I was suicidal at the time, if I could go back, I wouldn't use any anti-depressant.

If you can get over your depression without it, I suggest you do so.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why?

[LWor]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Took paxil for 1 year and a half.

Even if I was suicidal at the time, if I could go back, I wouldn't use any anti-depressant.

If you can get over your depression without it, I suggest you do so.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why?

[/ QUOTE ]

It affected my thinking and emotions in a weird way. I felt "artificially better", if you will. Combined with the side-effects like loss of libido, I was left wondering who I was and what I liked and where was I going in life.

Without it I felt depressed, but I least I was thinking clearly ; I understood the roots of my feelings.

Also once I started taking paxil, everyone went with the "clinical approach" with me. Like a schizophrenic who needs constant attention or something. It only made matters worse to have people literally spy on me and having to answer questions everyday.

I find it easier to get better when people don't EXPECT me to be clinically depressive.

EDIT: When people know you're depressed, their attitude towards you changes. And it sucks, because everytime you talk to them, it's like they're reminding you "hey, you're supposed to be suicidal!". I kept thinking "leave me alone dammit, I'm trying to get better!"

[drunk.hole]

[ QUOTE ]
: When people know you're depressed, their attitude towards you changes. And it sucks, because everytime you talk to them, it's like they're reminding you "hey, you're supposed to be suicidal!". I kept thinking "leave me alone dammit, I'm trying to get better!"

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QFT

[BingoBango]

[ QUOTE ]
I just find it interesting that in a forum like BBV, where the average age is likely to be 19 and the majority of posters likely have little or no college education, there is a clearly decipherable underlying level of critical thinking and logic permeating through even the most recreational threads whereas in this forum, where the average age rates to be a decade older and the average level of education almost certainly includes at least some college, you are more likely to run across a comment about how grandma cures the hiccoughs than you are to stumble across a sound criticism of some flimsy thinking.


[/ QUOTE ]

I guess they didn't teach you how to make sentences at your college?

[VoraciousReader]

[ QUOTE ]
It affected my thinking and emotions in a weird way. I felt "artificially better", if you will. Combined with the side-effects like loss of libido, I was left wondering who I was and what I liked and where was I going in life.

Without it I felt depressed, but I least I was thinking clearly ; I understood the roots of my feelings.


[/ QUOTE ]

This is the polar opposite of my experience with antidepressants, although I do have to say that the brief period of time that they had me on Paxil (which is also prescribed for anxiety) is the closest I remember to feeling this way. So it may be a characteristic of that drug.

With Zoloft and later with Wellbutrin, I felt MORE like myself, not less. Depression is a curious thing. It seems so normal when you're in it, as if this is your world.

This was my daily thought process when I was depressed:

"You are lazy and unmotivated and doomed to be unsuccessful and everyone dislikes you and the people that like you wouldn't if they really knew you...so you better try as hard as you can to prevent anyone from getting too close. All you've done with your life is piss away all of your advantages and opportunities, even though you know that you're intelligent, all you have done is waste it. Now it's over, you're too far gone, you have no way out, and you just have to survive until you die, which hopefully will be soon. Maybe you'll be in a car accident. Of course, then they'll see your messy closet and find out what a loser you are."

Things like that literally ran through my head for most of my waking hours. And every night I'd tell myself, "tomorrow, you lazy idiot, you're going to get up and be productive and do all the stuff you have to do. It won't help, but you're going to do it."

During this time I was a college student, lived with roommates, had a regular boyfriend, held down jobs, all the while with this constant litany of self-hatred. I didn't do any of these things up to my expectation, though. I was never good enough to my boyfriend, I felt like a crappy roommate, I didn't go to enough classes, I was bad at my job. The fact that I got As and Bs, was an honors student, was always being promoted, and my roommates loved me (and are still my closest friends to this day), and my guy couldn't get enough of me never even pinged my radar as hints that I might be wrong about myself.

When I lived alone for the first time in my life was when I had a breakdown. For the first time I wasn't accountable to anyone else, and I had lost the ability to care about doing things for myself.

I won't go into details, but it essentially forced me to get help. My doctor put me on Zoloft. Taking the Zoloft was a revelation. I remembered what it was like to feel like myself. I discovered that I didn't have to take crap from people. I was able to reasonably assess my situation and apply my brain to making it better. I discovered goals and desires and wishes and motivation. I could think clearly.

After about a year, they took me off the Zoloft, which was a relief. Some of the side effects weren't great: stomach troubles, occasional flashes of rage. But I was more like myself than I had been in years. I finally felt like the person everyone around me saw, and the person that I dimly remembered being. Which was funny, because while I was depressed, I had no memory of that person at all.

Kind of stupid example: my whole life I have loved thunderstorms. I find them compelling and magical. I like to stand out in them, to watch them, to hear them. When I was depressed I didn't even notice storms, AND I didn't notice anything different. I just stopped doing something so completely simple that gave me so much pleasure. Same thing with hot baths. Reading. Wearing earrings and perfume. Anything that was just for me, I didn't do. And I didn't notice.

[VoraciousReader]

Whoa. Good thing this is TL;DR.

[Scully]

[ QUOTE ]

Depression is a curious thing. It seems so normal when you're in it, as if this is your world.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with this for the most part.

The first time I ever experienced depression was after my daughter was born. Post partum depression. Thankfully only lasting a few weeks but profound depression. I had never really understood a lot about depression until I experienced it. It was not feeling down, it was a feeling of desperation. Hopeless. Everything was wonderful in my life, I could logically reason this but was still unable to get a handle on my emotions. I knew this was not normal but also knew that it was post partum depression and would seek help if it did not get better. It was just a matter of waiting it out. And it did get better.

After that resolved nothing like it for years. Then one day like someone flipped a switch it was back, just not as profound. This is where VR's statement is so true. It feels 'normal' when you are in it. Some days better than others, the depression exacerbated by things happening around you, but always there. This is where it took two years to acknowledge it and ask for help. When my family wanted to take me out for my birthday but I could not even get out of bed, I knew I needed to do more than live with it. This was no longer living.

The meds, when I found one that was right for me just made seemed to flip that switch off. I am not sure if that makes any sense. Like I said before I was able to get off of them for a while but could now recognize that I needed to start again. I am not sure that I will try to take myself off again.