jokes you've made IRL that flopped

[Big TR]

My wife is generally a terrible joke teller. She decides to try at her cousin's wedding rehearsal dinner.

Idiot calls 911 saying his best friend was accidentally shot. 911 operator asks "Is he dead?" Idiot says hold on. While waiting, the operator hears a gunshot. Idiot comes back and says "He is now."

She got nothing but glares from most everybody. Her cousin just said "That's not funny" with a horrified look on her face. It was outstanding. I laughed at the attempt since she actually nailed the timing and pseudo drama, which is a rare feat for her.