Staking/Make-up question: What to do with lower prize-pools?

[WarDekar]

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. If I'm down $15k (I think that's about what I'm in make-up, mostly from the ME), why would I want to play a $300 tournament where 2nd place isn't even $20k?

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Huh? Based on your OP, I figured makeup was much higher...in this case, any $300 or $500 prizepool should offer plenty of incentive to scratch that makeup figure out.

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I looked at prizepools for similar circuit events this year and first place has been low 30s, meaning only 1st or 2nd would get me out of make-up.

As I said that make-up was from WSOP prelims, the Main Event (most of it obv), and other $2k buy-ins. I would like to play some live again before playing anything bigger, but I just don't think I will be motivated enough to play in a tournament with this situation as I'm not going to be playing my best, and I just feel like I would feel so awful playing all day and not getting anything out of it.

And before you quote me saying "not getting anything out of it" and go off, trust me I know I am getting something out of it, and paying off make-up is something I have to do. I know this. I was in make-up over summer and won a $1k event which got me out of make-up (temporarily, before the ME). I know the feeling to play 12+ hours, get paid, then give it all back to my backer. I'm okay with that, but again it's just demoralizing to know that for me to "make anything" I have to get 1st, and only 1st.