Good Luck Chuck--3% Tomatometer!

[Aloysius]

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Jessica Alba must have the worst agent in Hollywood, almost every movie she's in is terrible.

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Right, because I'm sure she's looking for some heavy lifting to show off her acting chops.

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She can't act, obviously, but you think at least once in a while she'd stumble upon a decent script that needs some TnA.

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She doesn't do nude scenes. So the best you'll come up with is Into the Blue

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She will. Some director will give her a shot in a real movie and she will get naked for it, once she gets sick of being the eye candy in Fast and Furious 13.

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Noah - I like where your head's at.

All - I have never heard a single joke from Dane Cook and have no opinion on him whatsoever. Since I was curious about the hate I checked out his wiki:

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Dane Jeffrey Cook (born March 18, 1972) is an American stand-up comedian, actor and musician. He has released two albums, Harmful If Swallowed and Retaliation, the latter of which went double platinum[1] and became the highest charting comedy album in twenty-eight years.[2]

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That is really impressive, imo. Not a commentary on the taste level of people, but I didn't realize how enormously popular the guy was. This also helps explain, of course, why the hate is so strong.

-Al

[Blarg]

It also helps to take into account how little money most comedy albums sell.

[tdarko]

Al,

He was the first to market through MySpace and used his start-up money for his website which really launched his career, he is somewhat known as the internet comedian. Cook at first failed but is a marketing genius and realized that he had some of the greatest weapons at his fingertips that he just wasn't using. Comedians for forever were doing the same ol' tour the club scene routine and hope for the better but ever since Cook's MySpace/internet invasion more and more comics are becoming popular b/c of the internet...every comic interview I hear on XM there is a plug for their MySpace site.

He just follows the thread that you don't have to be good, you just have to be seen which has been the problem for so many musicians and comedians in the past. They constantly struggled to be seen--the quality of work is hardly the matter.

Cook isn't a good comedian but he is a marketing and business genius.

[kkcountry]

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Al,

He was the first to market through MySpace and used his start-up money for his website which really launched his career, he is somewhat known as the internet comedian. Cook at first failed but is a marketing genius and realized that he had some of the greatest weapons at his fingertips that he just wasn't using. Comedians for forever were doing the same ol' tour the club scene routine and hope for the better but ever since Cook's MySpace/internet invasion more and more comics are becoming popular b/c of the internet...every comic interview I hear on XM there is a plug for their MySpace site.

He just follows the thread that you don't have to be good, you just have to be seen which has been the problem for so many musicians and comedians in the past. They constantly struggled to be seen--the quality of work is hardly the matter.

Cook isn't a good comedian but he is a marketing and business genius.

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very solid 7500th post!

[Blarg]

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very solid 7500th post!

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Agreed. The tdarko-ster is reliable in general.

[SomethingClever]

Confession: I saw Dane Cook perform live at some comedy club on the sunset strip in 2002 or 2003. I thought he was funny at the time. I had never heard of him prior to the show.

I haven't seen any of his stuff since then, but a lot of people whose sense of humor I trust have told me he sucks.

Back around the same time I also saw David Allen Grier (maybe at the same show) and Joe Rogan, and they absolutely killed.

[Aloysius]

T - huh, interesting, thanks for the explanation.

Hm - not a perfect analogy, but I see some parallels between Cook and Bill Simmon's career...

-Al

[Dids]

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T - huh, interesting, thanks for the explanation.

Hm - not a perfect analogy, but I see some parallels between Cook and Bill Simmon's career...

-Al

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And amusingly, they're locked in a mortal fight to the death.

Or at least pitching pot shots at eachother on the internet.

I have watched Cook's standup FWIW, and that stupid HBO documentary that followed him around. His standup is basically very boring standard stuff with more thrusting, and he comes off like a pretty lousy person.

[Aloysius]

Dids - haha really? Didn't know that haven't read Simmons column in a while.

Before I get some hate for my Bill Simmons analogy (hi KBZ) I'll explain myself.

Based on t's description, sounds like Cook was the right guy at the right time, and cannily leveraged Myspace to become incredibly popular. Say what you will about his talent (and again, I know nothing about his act), but he had to strike some chord with America to become the best selling comic in 28 years.

Simmons also leveraged a growing Internet presence and, imo, basically fine-tuned an "everyman Boston fan" persona to get to where he is now. He was also, in the late 90s, giving us an opinion column that seemed fresh and innovative and something most sports fans could connect to - in today's world of the sports blogosphere, it all seems trite and formulaic.

The fact that the Sox and Pats saw a resurgence during his heyday really helped his cause - 100% dumb luck. Although, Simmons was actually interesting, different and great at one point, probably where Cook and Simmons differ.

-Al

[Dids]

Al,

I think the Simmons analogy kinda works. Bill was less innovative and I think his natural talent helped him more, where as Cook was more agressive in his self promotion. (also I would argue that Simmons might be better if the Sox/Pats hadn't got good, he's at his worst when he's writing about Boston)

Simmons hates Cook because he's not funny, wore a Yankees hat at the wrong time or something, and was a [censored] or something when Simmons was working for Kimmel.