worst sexual experience you've ever had

[The Hag]

[ QUOTE ]
I still have the best, but you will never hear it. Hahahaha.


Actually, it's not that great, but I'm a prude so it really grosses me out to think about it.

Cliff's notes:

-I drive 3 hours to [censored] an internet girl who ends up being 5 years older than her picture.
-She has floppy [censored]
-She has a jungle downstairs (which grosses me out a little)
-We have terrrrrible chemistry in the half hour we spent together pre-sex.
-She reveals she's on her period (which absolutely disgusts me) but I soldier on since I drove 3 [censored] hours.
-I find out her baby is sleeping in a crib right next to her bed which we are [censored] in. Put this together with the previous point, and I have to reaaaally concentrate on happy thoughts to maintain a 75% erection.
-She pisses on my hand.
-I nearly puke, and drive 3 hours home with piss on my hand and blood on my dick.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, You'll never hear it.... but.....

quality post Grey. many a lol.

[terp]

this story comes courtesy of tim, another bouncer at a bar where i worked in college.

tim was kind of a meathead who i think got into school with a football scholarship but proceeded to suck at school and football and just never left college park, but ended up bouncing at all the bars. apparently there was some kind of thing with him and a manager at another bar and she told him at one point she broke up with boyfriend (other manager at that bar) and asks for sex. this was not true, but no matter.

they go to his place and he's [censored] her doggy style and he's fingering her ass and she asks for anal. he surveys his bedside while keeping up with both other pursuits and realizes there is no lube, but there is a spit jar. he picks it up with his free hand and tips it into her ass crack and goes for it.

tim told everyone about it and she is now known as dip spit.