Things your close ones has said that surprised/shocked you.

[schundler]

That line was either intentional or intentional.

[suzzer99]

Good female friend: I'm really tight. Wanna feel?

[jzpiano]

Couple of things from my dad recently. Apparently he finally thinks I'm an adult (22 now).

In regard to a car part....
God damn piece of [censored] part, why do these [censored] things never work. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

This was 2 weeks ago, before this I have never heard him swear.



To my mom when they sold the extra kitchen table in the basement.

Can we get a poker table to put down there?

This was after 3 years of telling me when I played poker full time that gambling is bad and you can't win at poker so why even play cause everybody ends up busto.

[Dariel86]

Son, I'm gay

[calmB4storm]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm sixteen years old, and watching the Womens Finals from Wimbledon. My Dad is in the next room. All he hears is women grunting loudly, and Skin-imax hasn't been invented yet.

DAD: (enters living room) What the hell are you watching?

ME: Tennis.

DAD: Oh. (He stays and watches a point, probably the first tennis he's ever watched.) Who are these girls?

ME: Chris Evert and Martina Navratalova (this is the year Martina came out of the closet, something that simply wasn't done back then).

DAD: (after watching another point) Which one's Nav'talova?

ME: That one.

DAD: (checks her out) She eats pussy, you know.

ME: (way to shocked to respond, as my parents had never mentioned or even acknowledged sex to this point in my life)

[/ QUOTE ]

I swear, every one of your posts is brilliant!

[findingneema]

When I was a senior in high school, visiting Vanderbilt (where I ended up going):

Dad: Boy, there are some ugly mamas here.
Me: Actually, dad, I think the girls here look pretty cute.
Dad: I was talking about their moms.

[adsman]

[ QUOTE ]
Good female friend: I'm really tight. Wanna feel?

[/ QUOTE ]

That reminds me of this;

Hot girl who was a good friend of mine from school, we're a few years out of school at this stage and she comes over to visit. I'm standing outside and she pulls up in her car, jumps out and walks up towards me. As she gets closer a funny look comes over her face, she grabs her jeans and starts squishing them around and says:

"God I hate it when the cum runs down my leg."

[Burdzthewurd]

After losing a game of Bocce at a family reunion to my cousins:

Grandfather (to me): You're a disgrace to this entire family.

[hanster]

My dad: Name the states in America (We had just moved to America for 6 months)
My sister (14 at the time): California, Texas, Russia, Spain...

[nath]

I feel like I developed a high tolerance for the bizarre at an early age, but I still have a funny story I want to tell later, when I remember the details.