Please respond: a short fiction piece

[SoloAJ]

Dane, agreed. But I'm two words under the limit right now. So it is hard to add that much to it. My first inclination was the same though. I just don't know how to add all the motions like that in a word or two...hence I stuck the adverb in.

Having a whole 20 minutes to look at this, I like the fluently (it makes it more obvious IMO..at least I hope). I don't much like the 'Why?' because it doesn't fit the theme of the story and makes it way too obvious.

I want it to be subtle, and maybe casual quick readings would miss the deaf part....but I really don't want it to be impossible or entirely obvious.


Again, let me thank all of you for bearing with me and giving input as we go along. It is as much The Lounge's piece as it is mine at this point. I just control the direction it goes [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Dane S]

Actually, the word "fluently" seems awkward to me, partly because it seems redundant to call a deaf man's wife's sign language "fluent" (it sounds sort of like you're trying to congratulate her on her signing), and partly because I don't think fluent really fits the situation. Fluent means graceful and smooth, but here she's excited, so I would think her signing would probably be the opposite.