QUICK THINKING, WHAT WE DO BBV?????

[MTUCache]

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I'd like to hear this story from the hat's POV.

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So my owner meets this chick, right? And she decides she's going to totally trainwreck his life, ducy?

Step one is to set the trap, so she steals me, taking away the source of his pimp-power, LDO. This has happened before, but only with hot college chicks, not with wierd-looking HS chicks. So, right off the bat, we're both confused, but it's cool because I'm still getting dome-time and bestowing my pimpness on her instead of him.

Step two is to spring the trap, so she puts out. Big time. I think my pimp-power inspired her or something, but it was good. I had a good view, but my owner has a crazy Oh Face, so I couldn't watch the whole time. Instead I watched her little bro donk off like six buyins at NL25. Standardo.

Then she moves on to the confusion/bewilderment phase, so she messes with his head and invites him to prom. Also, she keeps me and cblocks him from other chicks. If he would have been wearing me at this time, the correct move would have been obvious, but without the source of his pimpness he was left confused and semi-retarded.

Somewhere in here I got left on her floor for a night, and got picked up by this chicks mom. She was pretty cool, but I could tell she was a little confused. Probably because she knew her daughter was a tramp, but she couldn't figure out how to break the news to her husband. Eventually she did, but he honestly didn't seem all that worried about it. Something about chopping off my owner's junk, but that's okay because he'll still have his head, so I'm still in the game. Also, I think my pimpness rubbed off on her too, because she gave up the bung that night to daddy. Good thing HS chick found me again in the morning, I don't think I could take much more 45 year old pimping.

Then she drops the hammer. The music. Oh my god, the music. I wanted to rip my bill off and stab myself with a rusty shovel. He tears up, she does her finish move with the cuddlebeeyotch routine, and he ends up sobbing on the tennis court blabbering something about his missed opportunity at some other chick (I wasn't around then). Chick was ready to do the outdoor secksing, but then she remembered that she was wearing me, so she would obviously have lots of pimping left to do later, she had to stay fresh for her later appointments with some other dudes. Again, if he would have been wearing me he wouldn't have ended up in the sad state, but by this point I was just disgusted with the whole thing. Who knew I could hold the fate of one kid in my bill? Without me he was nothing.

Then, finally he left, probably to go find his ex-girlfriend or boyfriend or something. By this point he was too busy looking for a tissue to worry about his hat, so I'm still stuck with this chick. Probably better off because she was definitely feeling the pimp-power vibe I was putting out.

While this was all going on, she also wore me while she was secksing two other guys, but my owner didn't know about it. Apparently she's pretty good at this stuff. No money for the secksings, but whenever she puts me on her dome I keep telling her that she could be getting paid for this. No word yet on whether she plans on stealing these guys' balls too and trainwrecking their pimp-status, but I'll keep the brainwashing going until she finds me a more suitable pimp-owner.

Also... suburban Detroit is a pretty sweet place. Not nearly as many craters or spent shell casings as I thought.

God this turned out badly. I hope the hat is happy with this chick in the future...