beat: My rant.

[naphand]

At the poker level you are playing psychology is very important. You know the game basics and you know some advanced stuff too, but are you really in control of your decisions? There are several things you say in your post which suggest your psychology is not right...

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I'm smart enough to survive without them...

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Are you really? If you take this line in your poker learning you will skip bits where you need to graft and it will be your undoing sooner or later. Maybe the later has arrived...

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I keep wondering what would have happened if...

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Why? What a monumental waste of time. Inability to let go and move is a sign of emotional neediness. Not a good trait for a wannabe poker king...get back to playing each hand the best you can.

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...and felt like killing people

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Anger management? Look to yourself, stop taking it out on other people. You made all the decisions, including the one to make poker such an important ingredient of your persona. The rest is just random numbers...

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...no doubt I was in their top 5 list

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Get a life. Do you have an idea how others percieve you? This is just a wish-list entry and lists mean nothing, except to dick-measuring contestants.

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What changed?

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Nothing. But maybe you need to.

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I guarantee...less then 3 people have ever run as bad as me

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Your guarantees are worthless as you probably have not asked everyone yet. All this appears to be is an attempt to say how unlucky you are. Sounds like a losers excuse to me...

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I study the game more than 99% of the people

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No you don't, you just think you do, same reasons as above. Maybe it's time to stop studying the game and start studying yourself?

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...I was probably always a loser and just ran good

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This has to be considered if you are going to get your head right. If you cannot admit to this possibility, you will never see things as they really are.

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All that matters is that I know in my mind that I'm a solid winning player, and that's all that matters to be honest.

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Actually, when it comes to poker, the only thing that matters is $ in the bank, and that's all that matters to be honest.

Of course, you get those $ by playing good poker.
How are you judging your play? You cannot rely on $ in the short-term.

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I don't tilt often. When I do it usually just increases my variance, but doesn't hurt my winrate that much.

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Ha-ha-ha-harrr! Clownshoes.

Firstly, if you really believe that tilting does not affect your WR I think you need to go back and re-read some of the basics. Clearly, you have not learnt this lesson yet.

Second, of you tilt at all you still have a lot to work on. Not <u>often</u> is not good enough.