Newbie drinker needs to find his go-to drink

[Sober]

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Why is whiskey sour not a "cool" drink?

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Because the bartender replies with "Do you want a cherry in it?" Which translates to "GAYLORD." Roughly.

I did try a little soco straight, just to really get the taste, and it tastes dangerous. If I found a good mixer for me, I'd be [censored] up/fat in no time.