Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising

[astroglide]

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me {holding back throat punch}

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haha

[nath]

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oh i just thought of one,

I LOVE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS, I GET OLDER BUT THEY STAY THE SAME AGE LOOLOLOLOLOL

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Daryn,
Is it okay to say this if you actually have sex with high school girls regularly?

[RikkiDee]

"isn't it wierd that black people can call each other n******'s but white people can't?"

[yabastid]

"If there's grass on the infield- PLAY BALL!"

When sweatin a chick of questionable age.

[34TheTruth34]

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"You have to establish the run in order to pass."

"They would like to run out the clock with this lead."

"These penalties are really hurting the team."

-Every football announcer, ever.

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more football stuff-

1. announcers at the start of the game:

"If team X can stop the run and not turn the ball over, they should win this one"


2. referees when calling a false start penalty:

"prior to the snap..."


3. coaches in interviews:

"were going to take it one play/game/possession at a time"

[Golden_Rhino]

- People on diets. All of a sudden they become your high calorie conscience. "you know how many calories are in x food item". Yes, I know, and I don't care, just like you didn't care last week and won't care next week.

- People who think they are really smart when they spread false information that everyone thinks is correct about celebrities. I got into a fist fight after the 50th time I was told that the dude from Mr. Belvedere was Marilyn Manson.

[MCS]

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1) "Bob Saget is actually a really dirty, foul-mouthed comedian! Seriously! If you listen to his stand-up, you'd be surprised how R-rated it is!" No, I wouldn't. Everyone knows Saget is filthy. Welcome to 14 years ago.

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This is an excellent example. People say this somewhat frequently, but still don't seem to realize that it has become well-known.

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2) "Alanis Morissette's song "Ironic" is not ironic at all! She misuses the word completely! Did you realize that?" Yes, as did everyone else when the song came out. We know the lyrics are not examples of irony. Can we just forget the song exists now please?

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I think this is a terrible example. Ironically ( [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] ) I actually think your commentary itself is a very good example. I have heard more people complaining about the Ironic-bashers, as you do, than actually criticizing the song. By this point, everyone knows that the Ironic-bashers aren't clever, so there's no need to point it out.

You have become what you hate.

[WhoIam]

People pronouncing Target (the retail store) like a French word

[Shakes]

President Bush is really stupid.

I wasn't quite sure how to illustrate this one, but I'll go with what Pinella said during one of the playoff games recently: "If they just keep hitting the ball, they will win... maybe not this game, but...." Yes, Lou Pinella predicted that a baseball team capable of hitting the baseball would eventually win a game. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm tired of sports announcers (all of them, but particularly...) who make such conservative predictions that the cease to be predictions.

Any sports announcer who coyly mentions the point spread. It's very cool when done every once in a while, but it's gotten out of hand lately. "They might not win the game, but they'll keep it closer than people think... if you know what I mean". Yes, we know what you mean. You're a degenerate.

Anything on TV where the joke is that the woman is surprisingly into a sporting event. I saw this done on a commercial no more than a year ago, on several sitcoms that I can't remember, and in movies. Yes, we know that men tend to obsess over sports more than women.

And speaking of that, women who declare that they are really into X team or Y sport, and then as the conversation progresses, you learn that they really don't know much of anything about X or Y.

People who point out the "announcer jinx" on kickers in football. That is, when the announcer points out how great the kicker has been lately just before the kick, and then the kicker misses.

[tboss888]

People who find out I play poker and start quoting some [censored] like "you gotta know when to hold em and when to fold em" or some other inane [censored]. Nerd jokes about math or some [censored], I want to punch these people in the face. People that spell retarted, its retarded, jesus christ how [censored] dumb are you?