Post the most idiotic thing youve seen typed in the chat box

[-beavs-]

this is c&p from a similar thread on another forum:

First: The HH . . .

***** Hand History for Game 5265379965 *****
NL Texas Hold'em Trny:29324870 Level:7 Blinds(300/600) - Thursday, September 28, 01:28:47 ET 2006
Table Regular(849457) Table #5 (Real Money)
Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players : 9
Seat 1: manny13222 ( 3850 )
Seat 2: SattiMan ( 50180 )
Seat 3: numismo ( 9000 )
Seat 4: moabutah1 ( 3660 )
Seat 6: chiefus ( 18157 )
Seat 7: baertschi ( 1564 )
Seat 8: qm2ss ( 3547 )
Seat 9: BostonGman ( 10360 )
Seat 10: guidez ( 41970 )
Trny:29324870 Level:7
Blinds(300/600)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to numismo [ 2s 3c ]
BostonGman folds.
guidez raises [1800].
manny13222 folds.
SattiMan folds.
numismo folds.
moabutah1 folds.
chiefus folds.
baertschi folds.
qm2ss calls [1200].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 4s, Kc, 7h ]
qm2ss checks.
guidez checks.
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9s ]
qm2ss checks.
guidez bets [1800].
qm2ss is all-In [1747]
** Dealing River ** [ Th ]
guidez shows [ Ks, Td ] two pairs, kings and tens.
qm2ss shows [ Qc, Jc ] a straight, nine to king.
guidez wins 53 chips from side pot #1 with two pairs, kings and tens.
qm2ss wins 7394 chips from the main pot with a straight, nine to king.

Now the fun and games that followed . . .

guidez: what kind of [censored] ass retarded call was that?
guidez: are you joking?
guidez: what a f-u-c-k-ing retard dude
guidez: moron
guidez: nuce 4 outer [censored]
guidez: suck my d-i-ck
guidez: you waste of f-u-c-k-ing life
guidez: [censored]
guidez: I know people with down syndrome more intelligent than u moron
guidez: what a joke dud
guidez: dude
guidez: seriously
guidez: you are a XXXXing joke
guidez: your mom is a XXXXing joke
guidez: your father is a XXXXing joke
guidez: your kids are XXXXing jokes
guidez: and your wife is an ugly XXXXing joke
guidez: you piece of XXXX retarded moron
guidez: hope u die later tonight or tomorrow
guidez: run over by a car
guidez: or maybe do your family a favor and shoot yourself in the XXXXing face
numismo: hey guidez: tell us how you really feel [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
guidez: we'd all be better off without your sheer stupidity f-u-c-k-ing things up
guidez: young children laugh in your face when they see you on the streets dont they idiot?
numismo: do I detect a nomination for a Darwin Award [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
guidez: o doubt about it
guidez: no
guidez: guy deserves a railroad spike through the eye socket
guidez: hes just plain unintelligent
guidez: His IQ is very low
guidez: his SAT scores are incredily low
guidez: he cant do simple addition or subtraction
guidez: he has erectile disfunction
qm2ss: apparently you dont realise a straight beats 2 pr
guidez: and hes a premature ejactulator
guidez: LoL, you went all in on a K943 board with QJ
guidez: you are a XXXXing [censored] bro
guidez: a XXXXing [censored]
guidez: perhaps you didnt realize top pair beat a gut shot straight draw?
guidez: idiot
guidez: dont talk about cards
guidez: go find something you can choke on
qm2ss: cant hack the pace get out of the race
guidez: and swallow it when no one is around
guidez: cant hack the pace get out of the race?
guidez: thats the stupidest gayest s-h-it iver ever heard at a poker table
guidez: dont use that phrase anymore
guidez: seriously you sound even more retarded than you looked calling with QJ
qm2ss: I love it when some nerd goof ball is got to
guidez: god you live in the United States to
guidez: I hoped you were from Europe
guidez: i love when nerd goof balls is got to
guidez: thats awesome when that happens man
guidez: awesome
qm2ss: ill try a 2 4 this time
guidez: dont talk
guidez: unless you got something that makes sense to say
guidez: or something intelligent
guidez: you are like Billy Madison, people who listen to you, get dumber
guidez: as you speak
guidez: when i said little kids laughed at you, obviously its assumed that every adult you encounter laughs at your gay ass as well

This all took place over the next *twelve* hands!!

[HOWMANY]

[ QUOTE ]
threeve.

[/ QUOTE ]

A combination of three and five. Simply stunning.

[McBusto]

[ QUOTE ]

guidez: you are a XXXXing joke
guidez: your mom is a XXXXing joke
guidez: your father is a XXXXing joke
guidez: your kids are XXXXing jokes
guidez: and your wife is an ugly XXXXing joke


[/ QUOTE ]
byaaaaaaaaaaah!

[SocalHoldEem]

WINNAR

[AceKicker06]

While sweating Mike Matusow on Full Tilt.

Mike Matusow: can't type
Mike Matusow: in tub

Would anyone seriously be surprised if this is how he went out?

[lambchop_FT]

PokerStars Game #4055571349: Hold'em No Limit ($1/$2) - 2006/02/21 - 22:17:22 (ET)
Table 'Iocaste IV' Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: Pryderi ($191 in chips)
Seat 2: JPizzel5 ($179 in chips)
Seat 3: lambchopdc ($595.20 in chips)
Seat 4: scotthof19 ($223.65 in chips)
Seat 5: MsCL3O ($132.30 in chips)
Seat 6: tangale ($83.85 in chips)
MsCL3O: posts small blind $1
tangale: posts big blind $2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to lambchopdc [Kd Ts]
Pryderi: folds
JPizzel5: calls $2
MsCL3O said, "nice river"
lambchopdc: raises $6 to $8
scotthof19: folds
MsCL3O: calls $7
tangale: calls $6
JPizzel5: calls $6
*** FLOP *** [Td 9d 6s]
MsCL3O: checks
tangale: checks
JPizzel5: checks
lambchopdc: bets $18
MsCL3O: calls $18
tangale: folds
JPizzel5: calls $18
*** TURN *** [Td 9d 6s] [Ah]
MsCL3O: checks
JPizzel5: checks
lambchopdc: bets $24
MsCL3O: calls $24
JPizzel5: calls $24
*** RIVER *** [Td 9d 6s Ah] [5c]
MsCL3O: checks
JPizzel5: bets $44
lambchopdc: folds
MsCL3O: calls $44
*** SHOW DOWN ***
JPizzel5: shows [6d 5d] (two pair, Sixes and Fives)
MsCL3O: shows [Ad Ks] (a pair of Aces)
MsCL3O said, "my god"
JPizzel5 collected $243 from pot
MsCL3O said, "what are you calling with"
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $246 | Rake $3
Board [Td 9d 6s Ah 5c]
Seat 1: Pryderi folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: JPizzel5 showed [6d 5d] and won ($243) with two pair, Sixes and Fives
Seat 3: lambchopdc folded on the River
Seat 4: scotthof19 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: MsCL3O (small blind) showed [Ad Ks] and lost with a pair of Aces
Seat 6: tangale (big blind) folded on the Flop


MsCL3O: what are you calling with
MsCL3O: a 6?
JPizzel5: read the board next time idiot
MsCL3O: U HAD A 56
MsCL3O: IDIOT
MsCL3O: RPE RIVER
MsCL3O: PRE*
lambchopdc: u had AK
lambchopdc: on a T high flop
MsCL3O: ON THE TURN
MsCL3O: IDIOT
MsCL3O: I HAD AN A
JPizzel5: yeah what he said
MsCL3O: ok and u called wit ha a pair of sixes
MsCL3O: GOOD JOB
MsCL3O: 24 dollar raises?
lambchopdc: he had a flush draw
MsCL3O: fishing with huge raises
JPizzel5: 4 diamonds too
MsCL3O: only online
lambchopdc: dude.....u had nothing...you were also fishing
MsCL3O: i wasnt fishing
MsCL3O: i had an ace
MsCL3O: with a king kicker
JPizzel5: ok ace is good?
MsCL3O: i wasnt fishing for anything
MsCL3O: it was a rainbow flop
JPizzel5: it was not rainbow
MsCL3O: yea it was
JPizzel5: 2 diamonds
MsCL3O: w/e .. joker stars

[gehrig]

[ QUOTE ]
Flop comes A99, turn is another 9.
Fish 1 bets, fish 2 uses his whole timebank then types "NO WAY U GOT THE NINE!" and moves all in.Fish 2 instafolds

[/ QUOTE ]

lololol

[bfd1211]

"You always have to play 6 8, because if a 7 hits you only need 2 more cards to make a straight"

[Chump Change]

[ QUOTE ]
"You always have to play 6 8, because if a 7 hits you only need 2 more cards to make a straight"

[/ QUOTE ]

I dare you to defy the truth therein.

[JackOfSpeed]

[ QUOTE ]
While sweating Mike Matusow on Full Tilt.

Mike Matusow: can't type
Mike Matusow: in tub

Would anyone seriously be surprised if this is how he went out?

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the winner, and it's not even close.

Do you see why?