Confusing situation involving a pregnant friend

[wmonfor]

First, a little background:

I am 21, and the girl in question is an ex-girlfriend from about a year ago( also 21). She's black, I'm white, it was never a problem for our relationship, it probably doesn't matter, but hey, plot exposition is plot exposition.

To the story:

About three months ago, she started seeing this guy. It was wierd, because for a long time after we broke up we were in the "friends but sort-of together" limbo area, so I wasn't really expecting her to get a new boyfriend. But, whatever, nothing I can do about it.

I hadn't talked to her in a while, but I ran into her at school on Tuesday. She seemed alright, and we were sitting and talking, when she gets a phone call. AS SOON AS SHE ANSWERS THE PHONE, she starts crying. I'm talking immediately. During the 5 or so minute conversation, she only says "Yes and no" and "No I'm not ready". I immediately suspected that she might be pregnant, but I didn't push it with her.

Last night, I call her and ask her flat-out if she is pregnant. She says yes, about 4 or 5 weeks, by her new boyfriend.

Now here is my dilemma: I still care about what happens to her, whether or not it involves me. However, she is very unsure what to do, and I think she's getting a lot of influence from people who are more interested in stopping an abortion than having her best interests in mind. I told her that she should seriously consider abortion as an option, because she already goes to school and work full-time, and having a baby means she may have to stop going to school. She only makes barely enough to cover her expenses, so taking care of a child financially is a stretch. I also told her that this is not a decision that should be made lightly. This isn't like getting a new pet. Everything about her life will change. Babies are only cute until you can't give them back

Also, I really don't see this child ending up with an attentive father. She and this guy have basically been seeing each other for 3 months. That is no way to start a family in my opinion. In all likelihood, she will end up just another single mother.

I found a workbook online that is supposed to help a woman make a decision about birth, adoption, or abortion, you can look at it here if you want. I suggested that she at least look it over to see what her options are.

So, what should I do? I know it's not my concern, it's really none of my business, and that I should be happy it's not my kid, but I still feel like she needs a level-headed friend to help her in this situation. Am I totally out of line in suggesting abortion, or is it something you would do too?

Cliff Notes: Girl I used to date for 2 years got pregnant by her new boyfriend, do I suggest abortion or leave her to make an uninformed decision in an unbalanced emotional state?

P.S. Dom, you have intimate knowledge of the background here, please don't use any names. Also, I took your advice and am doing much better. Thank you.

[wmonfor]

Also, if any of the female posters on OOT would like to weigh in, that would be great.

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obv. abortion

[Scary_Tiger]

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obv. abortion

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[stinkypete]

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She's black, I'm white,

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what about the guy who impregnated her? come on, these are critical details

[wmonfor]

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She's black, I'm white,

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what about the guy who impregnated her? come on, these are critical details

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he's black.

[ascension8]

Post deleted by Ryan Beal

[Jasper109]

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obv. abortion

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[Farfenugen]

Tell her to do what ever she feels is right. Abortion is definitely an option for her but mention it as just an option. There can be severe emotional problems that can result from an abortion if she ends up regretting it later.

Don't push her towards abortion but tell her to consider the pros and cons.

[esad]

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Cliff Notes: Girl I used to date for 2 years got pregnant by her new boyfriend, do I suggest abortion or leave her to make an uninformed decision in an unbalanced emotional state?

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Boy you really think highly of her don't you? Obviously, she will never make a good choice without your help.

It's none of your buisiness. Stay out of it and let her make a deciscion without everyone else, including you, trying to force their will on her. It's her choice.