the most inappropriate thing you've ever said/heard

[nubs]

When I was about 11 me and my mom went to the airport to pick up some family. Her purse ended up being searched after it went through the x-ray machine. As the security woman wraps up the search I look to my mom and say "It's a good thing they didn't find the bomb in there."

The security officer gives me a nasty look, but it is obvious I am being a smartass kid and don't know any better. My mom was mortified.

[GiftGiver]

This summer I was in Walmart around noon and was drunk off my ass. I thought it would be funny to put on this bright orange cloth hunting mask with holes cut out for the eyes and mouth. As I am wearing the mask a ~60 year old lady says "Nice mask." I reply "Nice rump." Somehow I thought if I used the word rump it would not be offensive.