How many 5 year-olds.....

[bd8802]

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I actually have a little experience in this weird though it seems. From my login name you can guess a previous occupation. I used to do hospital visit and play with the children on wards on the weekends when the play rooms were closed.

On the day in question a young lad named Myles (Yes he was 5) organised the other kids (Mixed ages but none over 10) to grab my ankles and lower legs. Once they were latched on they pushed until I toppled over. They then sat on me (It takes surprisingly few to weigh you down) and Myles stood on my head cracking it off the floor. Then in his excitement he dropped a turd on my face and the smell almost knocked me out.

I wouldn't go for the toughest kids or the biggest kids but the smartest kids. They are the ones that'll get you.

Back to the question at hand though. Presuming I am not hindered by big shoes, floppy hat, fake wig, bag full of balloons and being limited in my retaliation of pretending to cry then I reckon 20 - 30 is reasonable if they don't get co-ordinated. Half of that sitting on your chest is enough to stop you breathing and blacking out so does that count as a win for them?

Much more than 30 and you should expect to get crapped on [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Jaz

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POTD canidate

[Girchuck]

I was just going to suggest that part of the kids' training could be to throw their poop at you aiming for the eyes.

[wacki]

This thread will never die.

[meep_42]

It was very popular when I crossposted it to another forum, as well.

-d

[rockymp9]

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No way. 5-year-olds don't often get hit by someone whose life (or simulated life) depends on the little kids getting seriously hurt. One shot to most of these kids will put them on the ground, and even if they get up they'll be crying and incapacitated.

-Michael

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* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.


I think people need to think of the 5 yr olds as animals and not babies. Or let me put it this way, would your answers change if we changed the question to same sized dwarves/midgets/little people?

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Animals? Most 5 year olds have trouble assembling a transformer. A 5 year old is a minimal threat, regardless of numbers.

[BradL]

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If the kids get a little training, there's no way you can take on 30. One of them is going to get in a good shot below the belt. Then another will. Then another. You'll go down soon enough. Soon, you'll be getting kicked in the head and then it's lights-out.

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Having not frequented OOT too often, this is the first time i stumbled across this thread. Having read this post, this is the second time today that I burst out laughing in a gradschool class.

-Brad

[BradL]

Ok now thats three times burst out laughing in class today.

[KMyers]

So why do all of you assume it's a guy doing the defense? I used to be a field hockey goalie, and I have no nuts to defend.

Now, if they had adult planning skills, it would be much tougher... After all, if we were talking about 30 40-lb dogs, we might not be so optimistic. So - are teeth that much more worrisome than hands? If 3 kids hug each leg, what does that do to your maneuverability? Can a couple of them line up to form a knee-high barrier behind you that you can be pushed down over? Plus the downed attackers would be easy to stumble over...

If you fall and they pin each limb, the weight would be difficult. If they just go for the torso, then not so many can concentrate on the area.

My conclusion: if they don't get you down in a hurry and you can pick off a number of them right away, they are unlikely to prevail.

[jedi]

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This thread will never die.

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A non-poker playing colleague at work just emailed me this link. It's really getting around the world. I love the internet.

[BillNye]

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