Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...

[BOTW]

Party trashed my pics but there were no nudes. She was cute but nothing fantastic. Sorry.

I have never told a new girl the full details. My friends still give me [censored] about stealing her puppy, so any girls I've been with long enough have gotten to hear that part. Of course I try to spin it so I'm the hero saving the dog from a neglectful owner, not a creep. Her Mom got me 20 days, restitution, probation, and record purged so I doubt anyone could find out, though I've never bothered to make sure my record is clean.

I did a few romantic comedy like things. I called and sang for the two or three minutes her answering machine would allow. She actually called me back so I repeated this over and over and over again. She only called me back the one time. After she changed her number, I bought a convertable and drove by her office every day at lunch time hoping to see her and show her how successful I was. I never saw her. After a week or so, her boyfriend called me and told me to stop doing this. I scared him so much that he moved. Any time I went out with mutual friends, I would just stare at the door. Eventually, someone would tell me, "She's not coming," so I proceeded to get drunk and sit outside her house all night. On a couple of occasions, I played some romantic song loud enough that the neighbors called the police. Both times they sent me on my way though I should have gotten a DUI. I guess there is something really pathetic about the way I sing, "We were merely freshmen".