Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...

[BOTW]

I don't think either her or I were really aware of the stalking until the last few months. I was in a fantasy land and she was just unaware, I suppose.

Specific? Yes. Interesting? I dunno: Her dog died, so she got a cute new puppy. I helped her train the new dog and grieve for the old. She left on vacation w/ her bf, so I stole the new dog. Hopped a six foot fence with a puppy under my arm. I had the dog for a few days before the Sheriff came to get her. Told the Sheriff, "Here's the [censored] dog for the bitch," as I handed the puppy to him. He looked like he understood my pain. He was the same [censored] who helped tackle me in the bushes a week later as I ran from her house after busting her window.

[Imajuggler]

are you on drugs? why are you posting this here?

[aeest400]

Same question. You always seemed pretty sharp to me botw, but that's over the top.

[BOTW]

I am sharp. I didn't try to trip, I just stumbled.

I fell down.

It hurt.

I got up.

I want to help anyone else who is falling down. I only hope my words and thoughts here do that.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
I am sharp. I didn't try to trip, I just stumbled.

I fell down.

It hurt.

I got up.

I want to help anyone else who is falling down. I only hope my words and thoughts here do that.

[/ QUOTE ]

There still seems to be a kind of scary disassociation from reality and lack of responsibility here. You say that "unfortunately" she didn't die or something similar didn't happen -- whaaaa? And that the sheriff who tackled you a week later for breaking a window in her house and running off was a {censored]. I'm not sure what else he was supposed to do or how that made him a [censored]. Wouldn't you want the sheriff to catch the guy if it were your daughter, sister, mom, or friend? That wouldn't make him a [censored] at all. It would first of all mean he was just doing his job, and second of all it might even make him look like some kind of hero. It's strange after all this time that you are still referring to him negatively for basically catching an unbalanced, disruptive, trespassing, and possibly dangerous person fleeing from the scene of a crime -- and a crime which might well be only a precursor to something much, much worse.

In short, I'm surprised that there still seems to be an instinctive lack of perspective on your part. I'm sure that it's easy to punch stuff up or be sloppy or colorful for the sake of a more lively post, but your choices in describing the matter still seem to me a likely echo of the way you're actually feeling them, if not thinking about them. At some level, it sounds like you still feel that you were in the right and somehow wronged or misunderstood -- as if you're closer to the place you used to be than you really should be.

[BOTW]

Hi Blarg. I take full responsibilty for my actions and my actions were very bad. I was a very dangerous person, especially when drunk. I am very fortunate things turned out the way they did. Had I not been arrested, I don't think I would have changed. Being arrested did not directly change me and I don't think that anything our legal system could have done would. But, being arrested did help me start thinking which eventually led to me wanting to change.

Everyone around me knew there was a problem, but no one knew what to do. My friends and family tried to help. They were very frustrated with me since I didn't appear to be listening to them though they did listen to me. They tried to convince me to stop. I had my keys forcefully taken from me a number of times. I thank my family and friends for caring enough to listen and trying to help. Even though I didn't appear to be listening at the time, I hear them now.

The "unfortunately, no one died" is a lame attempt at humor. I fully intended to maim her boyfriend on a number of occasions. It wasn't until after her bf moved that I discovered how easily I could have invaded his home.

There does exist a disconnect on my part: I can't believe the things I thought and did were really me, but they really were me. I was a sad, jealous, pathetic and angry person. I try to laugh about it now even though it is not remotely funny. If I sound as though I am close to that place it is because I am. It is painful to think about this. I regret the things I did.

The girl is blameless. However, she did some things that I would not recommend my sister, Mom or friends do if confronted with a similar situation. 1) Tell your friends and family. I don't think her Mom would have helped me had she known the full extent of my activities. 2) Stop all contact. By answering the phone one time you are guaranteed many, many more calls. A restraining order just lets me know you are still thinking of me. 3) Call the police at the first sign of trouble. It is surprising to me now how long it took for the cops to get involved.