favorite Seinfeld line

[OrangeBaller]

I didn't see any of these so here it goes:

"What kind of man are you?"
Jerry- "I'm a man who respects a good coma."


"There was no pick! I am not an animal!"

Kramer- "I used to be scared of clowns when I was a kid"
Joe Divola- "Are you still afraid of clowns?"
Kramer (meekly)- "Yeah."

[ChipWrecked]

Kramer: Yeah, well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate.
====================
Kramer: Hey! Bad chicken! Mess you up!
====================
Elaine: The smart ones start working on their getaway during dinner. It's like they suddenly turn into farmers.

[CrazyEyez]

Kramer, mouthful of salad: "I prepared it as I bathed."

George: "Mr. Thomassoulo picked the wrong man to hire because he was fake-handicapped!"

George, after Jerry asks if he's going to call his parents to tell them he's not dead: "They could use the break!"

[CrazyEyez]

Kramer: Oh, I've cut slices so thin, I couldn't even see them.
Elaine: How did you know you cut it?
Kramer: Well, I guess I just assumed.

same episode -

Elaine: What do I have to know?
Kramer: Well, where the meat goes?
Elaine: Right there.
Kramer: Where do you turn it on?
Elaine: Right there.
Kramer: But where does the meat go?


Jerry: I think Whatley converted to Judaism just for the jokes.
priest: And this offends you as a jew?
Jerry: It offends me as a comedian.

[MaxPower]

[ QUOTE ]
GEORGE: Well, if I hear you correctly--and I think that I do--my advice to you is to finish your meal, pay your check, leave here, and never mention this to anyone again.

JERRY: Can't be done, huh?

GEORGE: The Switch?

JERRY: "The Switch."

GEORGE: Can't be done.

JERRY: I wonder.

GEORGE: Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the Roommate Switch? In the Middle Ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it!

JERRY: They didn't have roommates in the Middle Ages.

GEORGE: Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200--somewhere--there were two women living together.

JERRY: The point is I intend to undertake this. And I'll do it with or without you. So if you're scared, if you haven't got the stomach for this, let's get it out right now! And I'll go on my own. If not, you can get on board and we can get to work! Now what's it going to be?

GEORGE: All right, dammit, I'm in.

JERRY: I couldn't do it without you.

GEORGE: All right. Let's get to work.

[/ QUOTE ]

Right after this, the show went to commercial break. I remember the first time I saw this I laughed out loud throughout the entire commercial break. The other scene that kills me is when Jerry Steals the Marble Rye from the old lady.

[APD0290]

Jerry: You have no idea what an idiot is, Elaine just gave me a chance to get out, and I didn't take it, this is an idiot.

George: Is that right?, I just threw away a lifetime of guilt free sex, and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden, so please a little respect for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.