Your best wasted story

[Keystone]

I vaguely remember karate kicking and judo chopping street signs and bringing them home on my trips home from the bar before. Also, parking cones, patio furniture, and shot glasses/pitchers.

[jokerthief]

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I vaguely remember karate kicking and judo chopping street signs and bringing them home on my trips home from the bar before. Also, parking cones, patio furniture, and shot glasses/pitchers.

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You must have one hell of a judo chop to be able to take down a street sign.

[Keystone]

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I vaguely remember karate kicking and judo chopping street signs and bringing them home on my trips home from the bar before. Also, parking cones, patio furniture, and shot glasses/pitchers.

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You must have one hell of a judo chop to be able to take down a street sign.

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The street signs were loose in the ground from rain and I had already loosened it up by repeatedly karate kicking it. The judo chop was just for dramatic effect to impress the ladies.

[morgant]

i have about 8 trillion of these stories....of note

was at the drift inn in the hamptons at there summer ending party. went under the deck to take a leak, woke up the next day under the deck at 10am [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

i had just gotten a job at a mobil station from a friend who worked there. we were in 11th grade. i trained on a saturday, they put he and i in charge of the place the next day. they didnt have a store front mobile mart, but it had the credit card processor, etc...we proceeded to bake out the mobile mart. we then began drinking. an old lady pulled in, i went to fill up her tank. the lever wouldnt stick in place, so i asked my friend to try, as hes trying to fill up the car, i notice the womans gas tank says full. she says 'oh my husband must of filled it up this morning' my friend says he still needs to charge her the few dollars that pumped.

he goes in to make change but didnt take the nozzle out of her tank. she left the station. unfortunately the breakaway gas thing didnt work and it broke and began spewing gas all over the joint. friend had a hard time finding the kill switch. we were then instructed by the station owner to dump quick dry on it, but we couldnt get into the mechanic shop(another story here, friend effed up and let someone take the key for it). so station guy instructs us to pour water on the gas spill.......ALERT

this sent the gas into the sewer systems. the place was cordoned by the police, the EPA was there, it was a nightmare and sobered me up pretty quickly.

i went in on tuesday to see what aftermath there was with the mobil people. i asked if i still had a job LOL. they fired me, and gave me a paycheck, less the 20 gallons of gas that spilled............

err, that was long. i will keep the rest in the vault

[toss]

I love these stories.

[whiskeytown]

I have a few wasted stories that don't involve hospitalization -

I went after work to a local irish bar where I started knocking back Rumplemintz - long story short - meet cute girl, scare her off probably with the 9th Rumplemintz - meanwhile, my friend Adam is there with my two coworkers - I'm in friendly territory and according to my friend Adam I am as lucid as a priest on Sunday - coherant - everything -

everything past that is a fragment - apparently I stood up, landed on my knees and was so drunk the staff almost called detox on me - my coworkers/friend got me to a hotel where I passed out and showed up late for work two hrs the next day hungover in the same clothes -

closest I ever came to totally blanking out suddenly - and it was like it wasn't there and then blam, it was there - I quit Rumplemintz shortly thereafter - and my friend ended up getting into something with one of my coworkers which I didn't need to know about but did anyways - (thank god it wasn't the married one) -

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played a gig one night where I played for 90 min acoustically at a bar, downing shots of whiskey - about 5-6 over 90 min - probably closer to 7-8 -

I had from 75 min to 2 hrs and after 75 was content to go the 2nd hr but at about the 90 min. mark, my friend says it was like I suddenly forgot how to play guitar - LOL - a classic rock and roll moment - I had to be driven home from that gig - that happened twice -

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oh yah - Labor day - drank too much - went in friends dimly lit bathroom to throw up - did - turned on light - lid was down - damn. - cleaned it up and flushed - clogged toilet - but I didn't realize this cause I had left the apt. in shame at that point -

yah - thanks for reminding me why I quit again. an obscene tolerance up until a point and then I was in serious danger - LOL -

RB

[NA_kicker]

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I have a few wasted stories that don't involve hospitalization -

I went after work to a local irish bar where I started knocking back Rumplemintz - long story short - meet cute girl, scare her off probably with the 9th Rumplemintz - meanwhile, my friend Adam is there with my two coworkers - I'm in friendly territory and according to my friend Adam I am as lucid as a priest on Sunday - coherant - everything -

everything past that is a fragment - apparently I stood up, landed on my knees and was so drunk the staff almost called detox on me - my coworkers/friend got me to a hotel where I passed out and showed up late for work two hrs the next day hungover in the same clothes -

closest I ever came to totally blanking out suddenly - and it was like it wasn't there and then blam, it was there - I quit Rumplemintz shortly thereafter - and my friend ended up getting into something with one of my coworkers which I didn't need to know about but did anyways - (thank god it wasn't the married one) -

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played a gig one night where I played for 90 min acoustically at a bar, downing shots of whiskey - about 5-6 over 90 min - probably closer to 7-8 -

I had from 75 min to 2 hrs and after 75 was content to go the 2nd hr but at about the 90 min. mark, my friend says it was like I suddenly forgot how to play guitar - LOL - a classic rock and roll moment - I had to be driven home from that gig - that happened twice -

-------

oh yah - Labor day - drank too much - went in friends dimly lit bathroom to throw up - did - turned on light - lid was down - damn. - cleaned it up and flushed - clogged toilet - but I didn't realize this cause I had left the apt. in shame at that point -

yah - thanks for reminding me why I quit again. an obscene tolerance up until a point and then I was in serious danger - LOL -

RB

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I know you post here more than me and I know a lot of people like you, but these stories are lame as [censored].

To me, you are just that creepy old guy who is in a band. You probably never understood that people are laughing at you and not with you. These stories are pathetic.

[Mr_Donktastic]

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I vaguely remember karate kicking and judo chopping street signs and bringing them home on my trips home from the bar before. Also, parking cones, patio furniture, and shot glasses/pitchers.

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I used to do [censored] like this with my friends - our favorite items were lawn balls and flags. If we didn't smash em we would take em to a spot in the woods where we'd hang out...it was pretty well decorated after awhile!