For fathers: remember when you first became a daddy?

[Salt N Shake]

I remember giving birth to my number tWo. Sitting on that cold plastic toilet lid, elbows on knees and giving a satisfying squeeze it slid out and sploshed into the bowl.

It stank of victory.

AFTER THAT I SMEARED POO EVERYWHERE.

[daveymck]

It was pretty quick for me but horrible non the less, was overdue so they broke her waters. Hooked up the tens machine, I was in charge of the control and turned it up a touch too much she nearly bounced off the ceiling.

Labour was very quick but we had a problem that the nurse assisting was a trainee she was ending training she checked when the head was out for the cord etc but screwed up. SO cord was round which meant my daughter came out not breathing properly, so she was shoved in front of her mams nose then rushed off to get oxygen.

Very scary moreso for me as our lass was out of it on the gas and air, but everything was fine.

I think looking back now though while it is a life defining moment and people build up to it as the pregnancy goes on as a main even, I think though that the highlights come a lot later in parental life moreso once the broken sleep nights and nappies finish.

Then the buggers become teens and I see what a pain in the ass my stepson currently is I would say make sure you make the most of these early years.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
It was pretty quick for me but horrible non the less, was overdue so they broke her waters. Hooked up the tens machine, I was in charge of the control and turned it up a touch too much she nearly bounced off the ceiling.

Labour was very quick but we had a problem that the nurse assisting was a trainee she was ending training she checked when the head was out for the cord etc but screwed up. SO cord was round which meant my daughter came out not breathing properly, so she was shoved in front of her mams nose then rushed off to get oxygen.

Very scary moreso for me as our lass was out of it on the gas and air, but everything was fine.

I think looking back now though while it is a life defining moment and people build up to it as the pregnancy goes on as a main even, I think though that the highlights come a lot later in parental life moreso once the broken sleep nights and nappies finish.

Then the buggers become teens and I see what a pain in the ass my stepson currently is I would say make sure you make the most of these early years.

[/ QUOTE ]

All teenagers are pains. Good on you if you're taking care of your stepson and being a good father to him even if he's being a typical teenager. So many stepdads drop the ball so terribly.

[daveymck]

[ QUOTE ]

All teenagers are pains. Good on you if you're taking care of your stepson and being a good father to him even if he's being a typical teenager. So many stepdads drop the ball so terribly.

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Yes I keep saying that to his Mam, he isnt that bad mainly being rude and insensitive in particular to his mother. He has said to her recently that I am the only person he can trust so I must be doing ok althogh he might not think that now after I shouted at him last week as he was spoiling a family outing.

I went into a shell as a teen and drifted away from my family somthing I still havent really got back, so hopefully will be able to keep him onside and keep the relationships going.

[RayPowers]

My ability to remember details long term is virtually non existent, so to try to describe the day my son was born is impossible. I bonded with my son fairly quickly, but I was not ready to be a father, even at 32. I had very little patience at it, and my son was very colicly (sp?), and I spent many a night up at 3am walking around a screaming baby trying to comfort him, wondering what the hell I was doing in this position. My wife worked a normal 9-5, but I owned my own retail store, so could modify my hours as needed, which meant I was the one who ended up taking the baby late at night because I could sleep later. I definitely loved my baby, but I'm pretty sure I hated him at the same time when I was on another four day sprint of virtually no sleep while he puked everywhere again (he had really bad acid reflux early on).

When he hit about two, and I could really interact with him, the bonding became rediculously intense, and I can't imagine life without him now that he is four and we can actually converse beyond two word sentences and do things together. I just started teaching him how to dribble a soccer ball and basketball, and he already has tried tee ball, and is in swimming class. I think he's going to be a big sports kid. I wasn't but, he's his own (very little) man, and can go whichever way in life he wants. He's kind of whiny though, and I haven't figured out if that's just the age, or if there's a way to help him learn to approach things better that he doesn't like.

Contrastly, my daughter and I are still having problems. She turns three next weekend, and I still don't feel like I have bonded well with her. We talk, I love her a lot, but she is very frustrating because she is a very defiant little girl (my son was nowhere near as bad), and since I am the disciplinary force in the household, she has a huge perference for her mommy over me, because I am perceived as the bad guy.

We (my wife and I) have moved pretty far in trying to fix that impression, but it's still there, and we have good and bad days. Its not a joyous thought to think that I love one more than the other, but emotionally, its much easier to deal with my son than my daughter. But they're both very young, and I am more than willing to put in the work long term to make our entire family as close at it can be. My wife thinks I need more one on one time with her, but I think I don't have a lot of one on one time with my son, so I don't want to suddenly start spending time only with her. I think I just need to quality time with both of them, and make her see that I love her just as much as her brother, and I find them both to be wonderful and special (little) people.

Wow, uh, yeah, guess I felt like sharing today or something.

Ray

[FishNChips]

[ QUOTE ]
my son was very colicly (sp?), and I spent many a night up at 3am walking around a screaming baby trying to comfort him, wondering what the hell I was doing in this position...I definitely loved my baby, but I'm pretty sure I hated him at the same time when I was on another four day sprint of virtually no sleep

[/ QUOTE ]

colic - the dirty little secret of some newborn babies. Our little girl was colicky (sp) as well and there were nights that I was wondering what the return policy on her was. 2 things amaze me about this time in our lives : 1 - that we survived; 2 - how little of it I actually remember. I know that the first 6 months were incredibly hard and that she cried a lot and didn't sleep much during the day (she still doesn't), but only a few specific memories remain and they are actually endearing (me soothing her by dancing with her while Nora Jones played on the stereo (over and over and over again)).

~FishNChips

[RayPowers]

I remember that I would walk circles around the dining room/kitchen area in the dark, with my eyes closed (because I had memorized the space better than a blind person ever could), at 3 am, bouncing slightly with him over my shoulder, patting his back, counting steps down from 1000. I am reasonably certain that I would be asleep more often than not as I did this...

Ray

[FishNChips]

cradled my daughter along my arm (like carrying a football) and rocked her gently as I walked. The worst part was that even if I got her to sleep I couldn't put her down because she would wake up and we'd have to start again. I couldn't even sit down with her many nights...

Amazing what we'll do for those little buggers!

[MikeNaked]

My wife's first words as her daughter slides out and she sees her bluish, slimy, squirming, crying body for the first time:

"Oh my god, it's so weird! It's so weird!"

Hehehe, she's never gonna live that down.

[Analyst]

[ QUOTE ]

colic - the dirty little secret of some newborn babies. Our little girl was colicky (sp) as well and there were nights that I was wondering what the return policy on her was. 2 things amaze me about this time in our lives : 1 - that we survived; 2 - how little of it I actually remember. I know that the first 6 months were incredibly hard and that she cried a lot and didn't sleep much during the day (she still doesn't), but only a few specific memories remain and they are actually endearing (me soothing her by dancing with her while Nora Jones played on the stereo (over and over and over again)).

~FishNChips

[/ QUOTE ]

Starting at two weeks, my now-almost-14 daughter was either sleeping, eating or screaming literally twenty four hours a day. We were worried, of course, especially when every book said that colic doesn't kick in until they're one month old, but the doc said it was no problem - for the baby, at least. I remember walking laps around the house in the middle of the night carrying her, hoping to get her to sleep; then when she did I'd hold her and watch dog-sled races on ESPN2 at 3AM. It was a case of colic fit for the record books, and no remedy worked except time. This time the books were right, and almost exactly as the clock struck 3 months, the light switch flipped and her crying stopped almost overnight.

You feel like you're going crazy during the colic phase, if it's bad enough. Two years later, when we had our second child I found myself panicking every time he started to cry: not again! God, not again!