Female on Paxil, Things have changed

[Blarg]

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So...she knows that you really like her...but then she gets all weirded out by you putting your arm around her...and then gets passed around at a stripper party and feels the need to tell you all about it? This girl has issues.


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Agreed.

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I'm telling you right now, this girl is going to destroy you. You like her too much, and I don't think that she's *capable* of returning your feelings. From all that you've told us, she seems flaky and self-absorbed (which most 20 year girls are). You're setting yourself up for a fall.


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Very much agreed, except that I don't think he has to wait for the destruction to begin. It's happening now.

No guy should have to be the nutless placeholder for a girl who acts repelled by his advances half the time and is uninterested all the time, then goes out and makes out with strippers and jumped on by guys at parties.

By the way, what a motherlode strike of a b*tch! Telling him no, then telling him she wondered what would happen if he would "man up"? Acting cold when he so much as puts his arm around her? Refusing him but jumping on strangers?

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I still hope you bang her, though. Otherwise you'll be wondering for the rest of your life what it would have been like to screw her.


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I kind of do, but only to hump and dump her. Really, this chick is poison. God knows, the guy will probably have his balls in a bear trap if he ever gets access to her holy of holies and be a lifelong worshipper. With this girl, it sounds like he loses whether he gets her or not. Worst case scenario, she tolerates him enough to "let him" marry her or have a long-term relationship with her, and rules over his life for a long time as a very disinterested caretaker who probably screws everyone on the side she can get away with, and maybe some she can't. And he sticks with her no matter how she humiliates him because she has successfully crushed his self-respect down to nothing.

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And I have to reiterate the fact that I can't believe that she saw nothing wrong with telling you about the orgy she attended. She *has* to know that this sort of thing will hurt you, yet she does it anyway. She either likes the attention she gets by making you jealous, or she's just too self-absorbed to care that she's hurting your feelings.


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She's completely self-absorbed. She's also sexually competitive with him, of all things. He's not a guy in her sexual sphere, but placed firmly outside it, and she's showing him that she gets more than he does and is more sexually desirable than he is. Something she already believes all too strongly. That she could even be sexually competitive with him at all, "against him" as if he were a sexual enemy or on a different team than she is, shows that she doesn't really give a damn about his feelings and certainly not about his sexuality.

This thread makes me feel terrible for this guy. He's got to believe the world can provide him with more than this, even if this girl can't. And that if she can't, who cares? There are so many girls that will treat him better than this that it's insane and self-destructive to put himself through what this girl is going to drag him through.

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also i'm pretty sure i am falling way behind here, mostly because I cannot and will not be "drunk guy number 9 in 2 months". i just can't do that.

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Honestly, just go ahead and bang her. It won't make you like her any more than you already do, trust me. You couldn't possibly like her any more than you already do, so don't use that as an excuse to chicken out.

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Agreed again. The best thing this dude could do, besides getting the hell away from this chick entirely and forever, or banging some girl right in front of her, is to bang her. And he has no reason to worry about falling behind; he's already barely in the running and kept around mostly for amusement and as an emotional whore. The whole thing is getting so exhausting an demeaning to him that he's even starting to talk himself out of banging her in a way that makes his distaste for the whole sad, sexless and loveless business feel less clear.

What a leaden existence. OP, you deserve so much better, even if you hate yourself. And if you don't, it sounds like this girl is giving you the master's course in learning how to do so. God only knows what you'll be like and how you'll feel about yourself before she's done with you.