Need Help finding something to believe in

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well i'm not going to be a recognized poker player ever, but i make okay money (more than i could with any job at the moment). I just play hockey for "fun", it always used to be fun but now it just kills a few hours.



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IMO that's the main source of your state.

I make 10 times less money per hour at my day job, than I make playing poker. And I wouldn't change it for all-poker carrier even if I could make 30 times more playing poker. Poker as an occupation is highly unproductive, it gives some money, but robs of a sense of fulfillment and social relations.

I'd recommend finding an interesting job, even if you'll make much less. Volunteering could be a good start too.