beat: depressed. my life as i know it is over.

[john kane]

i am starting this job on monday but i know what it entails, my brother did it for 3 years and hated it. anyone i know who is doing it hates it. but for 3 years of doing a terrible job you spend the rest of your life earning $100k+. but then part of me thinks [censored] this [censored], i don't want to spend my life as an adult, wasting my 20s away. i have no plans to ever have kids or get married (-ev), in fact suicide in early 30s is very likely (if i dont die by then due to health), so till then i might as well enjoy myself rather than do stupid job.

problem is i want to be rich. doing this job if i work hard = rich down the road. but i don't want to take the road of boredom.

i think after my first week ill likely ask if i can defer for a year, but my feeling is that my ill slowly tolerate it, a good day in the life of john kane will then be one where i didnt have to do 2 hours of overtime.


also i feel wtf was the point in me grinding some money (about $170k now got saved up) if still means im living at home, im still end out doing same [censored] job.

[censored] it, im going to go send email to a friend who hopefully is coming over to london in december and getting a job and ill go live with him - he is hopefully getting rent free some balla pad on oxford street in london - that would be a lot better.

ty for replies and gl