Learning java with no programming language experience, where to start?

[mmbt0ne]

God I hate Scheme. I can't believe someone else has even heard of it.

I mean, it serves it purpose of teaching you how to think like a programmer very well because you have to use prefix notation [aka 3+2 would be written (+ 3 2)] which makes everything you do require some thought.

As lame as it is, I've actually learned more coding post-school than I did in school because I use it to do stuff that's actually useful now, rather than trying to write a scrabble game in Java, or create a recursive loop in Scheme.