Infidelity

[Ser William]

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You know what else can be addicting? Spending too much time researching and analyzing your wife's infidelity rather than being an awesome father for your kids and getting on with your life.

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some people choose to kick the crap out of the wife, some choose to kill the other man, some choose to hit the bottle.......I chose to find out as much information as possible as to what the hell happened to my wife/family by doing as much reading as possible. It's part of my healing.

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And

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The children were the main reason I tried to reconcile with my wife despite her affair. The future seems really bleak for my kids.

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Multiple times in this thread you've talked about how bleak the future is for your kids. I understand why you are obsessing over why your wife did this but you really should start focusing on doing everything you can do make your kids life better going forward.

Why are the kids living with your wife and not you?

Understanding why this happened is one thing, but it really won't help you going forward. Seems to me you need to focus on the most important part of the equation right now, your kids. For starters, stop labeling them with the prognositcation of a miserable future, or you'll help make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.