Some Stuff About PUA (very long)

[Lawrence Ng]

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I've only read about half the thread and skimmed the bitchy hiss fight between Dids and Cardo. Getting back to PUA...

I think the most valuable thing that PUA tries to teach men is that the majority of guys are completely, 100% wrong about the correct way to attract women. (To get laid, to get a GF, wife, or just be liked by women, whatever it is.) Most guys arrive at adulthood with a ton of completely busted ideas about how to interact with women and as a result, they fail miserably. Then, stung by their failures, they give up and quit trying.

Some of the incorrect assumptions are that you should just "be yourself," that the right relationship will "just happen," etc. I am pretty sure that Hollywood is responsible for these persistent lies.

One of the other incorrect assumptions is that a guy should not "clean up his act," i.e, sanitize his speech and behavior when he meets a girl. He does not admire her body, make innuendos, or do anything else to indicate he is sexually attracted to the woman, for fear she will be offended and reject him. Instead he makes innocent small talk and then tries to work up the courage to nervously ask for her phone number. Then he doesn't understand when she doesn't return his phone calls.

But these assumptions are all exactly wrong. The PUA knows that he MUST present himself as a sexual person who is sexually attracted to the woman. He knows that she likes sex as much as he does, but she wants to have sex with someone she is very attracted to, not just any schlub. He knows to make it clear that he is interested in her but not particularly concerned as to whether she is interested or not. He openly flirts, makes innuendos, checks her out, talks about sex and sexual things and is not worried if she will be offended. He gives her the chance to spend more time with him, but not an open-ended invitation, etc. He is not a lapdog begging for a table scrap, but someone who likes her and will give her a chance to like him back.

Another benefit of the PUA info is to stress the importance of practice, i.e., approaching a lot of different women. Instead of locking in on one woman and building her up to be the goddess/muse/soulmate/meaning of life, he approaches the women he finds attractive and tries to be attractive to them. He knows he will be rejected most of the time, but that he will improve with practice and not fail all of the time, etc.

Finally, the PUA stuff teaches you that a woman will try to control/dominate the man, but does not actually want to succeed, for the most part. She is trying to find the most attractive man, i.e., one that is confident enough not to simply do whatever she wants, but to do what HE wants (as LFS' great post says). Once he establishes that he is not necessarily just going to bend to her will, she knows he is a confident man, the kind she would like to be with.

All of this information was very helpful to me.

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Good post DrewDevil.