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  #11  
Old 08-09-2007, 05:52 PM
guids guids is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 12,908
Default Re: Some Stuff About PUA (very long)

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That's nice, Chudster. I saw Olivia the other day; she's lookin' foooooooooooine.

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On that note, snaggle is right on. You said a lot abotu how you have sick conversational skills. The simple fact is most people would rather not listen to some other stranger actually "talk". People want strangers to listen, and they want friends that they can go back and forth w/, but no one likes conversations unless you KNOW they like to have a conversation. good friends can have convos, strangers can not. Personally, I dont say too much, I listen, and I use people to learn about people, 99% of the time, Im genuinely interested in others, especially women, if for no other reason is that talking to someone is like reading a text book on how minds work.

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Okay I'm gonna address this.

I don't know quite how to describe this process, but I think some of you are gonna nod and say 'yeah, exactly' and others will have little idea of what I'm talking about.

I find interest in other people - girls, dudes, kids, milkmen, old fogies at the park, whatever - to be very difficult to consciously manufacture. For me it's like a light switch. I have to notice something to set me off - some detail that seems interesting, something I can comment on or point out or give me a fresh angle to approach them from. With that in hand I usually just start talking and everything works out fine. Without it I have nothing to say at all. It's a completely binary, on-off thing. It's like people are invisible to me unless I already know something specific about them.

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I get you. And yes it is easier to approach people when you notice something, but thats not how I think. Everywhere I go, I check out pretty much everyone in the place, Im hyper aware/adhd if Im sitting there, so I check everything out, see if anyone looks familiar, see who is good looking, see who looks like they have money, see who is laughing the hardest, who is drunk, etc. You either notice stuff or you dont, I notice everything and figure out which dynamic is the one I want to get in on. when I find out who i think I want to get to know/approach THEN Ill look for something a little more familiar/detail that I can start teh convo with (a jacket, hair style, watch etC). This also makes me more approachable as most of the time I have people comming up to me for random things, because I can pattern my behavior after them, and act aloof, which will make them think that Im "cool" or whatever.
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